Cross your fingers, say a prayer, or just think of us please...
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive November 2007:
Cross your fingers, say a prayer, or just think of us please...
I finally found a nursing home that will accept my mother in CO. She arrived this morning, via airplane with my brother. He dropped her off and had to leave for a meeting with a friend and I had a dirty diaper right off the bat. (Thank God for videos because Connor was interested in the process at first...ugh.) That, and I had to call my brother to find out if he had given her medication in the morning. He didn't. Last time she missed her meds, she pulled her pants down, along with her diaper, and tried walking...all while I was expecting guests at any minute.
Anyway...
We applied for her Medicaid and long term care assistance today at her nursing home. I'm praying that the state will come out and assess her soon and that she'll be able to transfer into the nursing home within the week.
My brother won't be back until 7pm and my husband has a dinner thing at work until 8pm...pray for my sanity!  All the "kids" are asleep now. I'm very thankful for our new home since my mom can sleep on the main level now and I can keep an eye on her. (She tries to get up on her own and falls frequently.)
PS- I tripped the breaker while vacuuming this morning and Scott said he went outside to try to find the breaker and he couldn't. After he left for work, I found it in one minute and had electricity back on for the fridge, etc. What would men do without us??? Seriously???
It was nice of your brother to bring her to CO, but he could have given her meds! Yikes.
Hope you made it through the rest of your day.
Prayers for you and your family, it must be so challenging to care for you mom, but what a good daughter you are to her! Take care of yourself...
We had to take care of my great grandmother during her last few years of Alzheimers' and it is a tough road. I'll keep you specifically in my prayers until she's been placed in the home you found for her.
As far as men go...it's hopeless!
I hope everything works out for you and your mom. I know how difficult this must be for you, but you are a great daughter.
My husband is just like that. A few days ago, we were low on diapers. I told him to just use the ones in the diaper bag until I got off work. Before I left, I had to rummage through the diaper bag to find my keys. I was in a hurry, so I didn't put everything in the bag. He called me, at work, and asked where the diapers were. They were RIGHT next to the bag and he couldn't find them.
My dad and my husband, are the exact same way about finding stuff. It if doesn't reach out and bite them on the nose, it doesn't exist! LOL!
Praying for your sanity, Heidi. You're doing an amazing thing for your Mom. You're all in my thoughts and prayers. Have a great day!
Saying prayers, Heidi. When you need someone to talk to, we are here.
Big ((HUGS))
I'm praying for you too Hang in there!!! I know if your mom could understand all that you are doing for her, she would be very happy and proud of you !!!!!
Prayers are on their way. Best of luck.
Praying that everything works out. What you are doing is a wonderful and beautiful thing, ( I did the same for my mom) and I can understand and relate that some days I you just needed that Calgon, but the reward that I felt in my heart and in my out weighed the bad every time.
I hope it works out for you!
Thanks everyone. I have to vent...I was up at 3am and stayed awake until 5am, wondering if any of the house sounds were my mom getting up from her bed. (She's been known to try to get out of bed herself at around 5am.) She *did* tell me that she needed to go #2 at 9:30 this morning, which was good, but now the main level bathroom is backed up and somehow so is our master bathroom. (Is the amount of time our DH's are in the bathroom directly or indirectly related to the use of a plunger??) We have one toilet that works so I'm going to have plunge the other two...I went a whole year not having to do that when my DH was in Afghanistan, LOL.
I had leftover pizza for breakfast and lunch and everyone got a much better meal...except my brother keeps giving my mom M&M's (for breakfast too!) Ugh. He's not the one who has to see that on the other side. I gave her some prune yogurt, a few slices of banana, and some orange juice. My brother said, "What? She likes M&M's!" He bought her a HUGE bag. She's been asking for Dr. Pepper the whole day too (my brother gives it to her freely) but I finally had to cut her off and I offered water or milk. She looked at me like I was such a meanie. She definitely doesn't need to be dehydrated (she weighs 105 lbs soaking wet), nor does she need a diuretic while in diapers 24/7. My brother didn't help with anything this morning, except putting glue on her teeth and he left all the breakfast mess for me to clean up. He also didn't bring her winter jacket but packed 10+ pairs of pj's for her....argh!!! A woman would have at least thought of sending her with a winter jacket to Colorado in NOVEMBER!!! He said he couldn't fit it in the suitcase, but he packed all her stained shirts. I don't get it...I just don't get it...vent vent vent...off to plunge. 
Does this woman deserve to vent or what!!?!!
Heidi, I want to quote Wandilu because it's worth saying again--if your mom could understand all that you are doing for her, she would be very happy and proud of you !!!!!
Regarding your mother getting up: do you (or a friend) still have a baby monitor knocking around the house somewhere to help you hear when she's stirring. Or a noisy bracelet.
Did your mother live with your brother? (Doctor Pepper and M&Ms--good grief!)
Oh, I just can't imagine what you're dealing with. I'm assuming, based on what your brother is doing, that he doesn't have children since a parent quickly figures out you can't say "Yes" all the time. It's sounds like it's even more of a blessing that your mom has you to look after her.
Mlee, good idea on the monitor...after moving to our house last weekend, I'm still on the hunt to find it. I'm *very* tempted to just buy another one with a video monitor. I could also use it for Connor's room once she is in a nursing home permanently. I might put a bell on her door and that might work for now...
And, thanks Wandilu and Mlee...I know she is thankful. She's very "aware" and is even slightly embarrassed. I just tell her that my time will come too. I just hope my children are older and not with small children at home.
And, Tink, you're right. My brother doesn't have any kids. He also doesn't eat right himself, so his ill regard for healthy food is another issue. He's a big "band aid" person who likes to give short term solutions for long term problems. The guy can't plan anything past his nose. Drives me crazy since I'm a type A planner. But, he does have a heart of gold and got my mom off the streets for good. Long story short... she lost our house while we were in college (my brother and I cosigned for her), found out she had paranoid schizophrenia (started pulling up the carpet, was walking backwards down the stairs and put radios with white noise in all the windows and refused to talk to us except in writing for fear "they" might hear us)...eventually she was willingly homeless for 3+ years thinking that the "mafia" was after her so she traveled with truck drivers and refused to stay with us. My brother eventually purchased a small log house in the woods in VA where she couldn't bother anyone and no one would bother her. Another homeless person, her friend, would take care of her in exchange for a house and food that we provided with our school loans and jobs we had in college. It worked well until the friend passed away and my mom's condition worsened and she had another debilitating stroke that affected her ability to walk.
She's a fighter, I'll tell ya that much...
(((HUGS))) to you and your mother and your brother. I don't have words...
What a load for you & your brother to carry at such a young age. Mental illness has taken its toll on my extended family, but I can't imagine having to recognize the problem & become your parent's caretaker while going to college.
And you've only been in your new house a week, heavens! You are one strong lady Heidi! Give yourself an M&M! I really hope the state moves quickly for you, and that your mom will be comfortable in her new home.
Dr. Pepper and M&M's? Yuck. I like them, but not all the time and certainly not for breakfast. She is going to have to learn some new habits. Sorry you have to be the bad guy.
Today was better, I gave my brother the ultimatum...either change mom's diaper or Connor's, before you leave. He opted to change hers and wanted "instructions". Sorry, this kind of thing doesn't come with instructions.
I'm just trying to readjust and things will get better. I have to call social security today on my cell phone so that her payments will start coming here. She's so cute right now, I put "Anna and the King" movie in for her since she loves Jodie Foster and she is GLUED. LOL She even took her meds for me today without the use of M&M's!
Thanks for all your well wishes...I can't believe I did this for 2 months while my DH was deployed and Connor was 19 months old. And, I had lots of stairs last time. I can do it, I can do it...
Wow, I really admire what you're doing for your mom. I hope everything works out for you.
I'm glad today went better!
Just checking how you're doing. I hope you can find more videos!
I'm thinking of you. Hang in there!
I have such admiration for you Heidi, you have alot on your plate, as I've said before you are a wonderful daughter, and I know you mom appreciates you. (((((HUGS)))))
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