More stupid responses from people...a vent
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More stupid responses from people...a vent
This may be silly but it's starting to bite at my nerves. After reading Heidi's post about people's stupid comments about the size of her family, this comes to mind of some stupid things woman say to me.
You all know the crap I am going through with dh and this prolonged divorce. I have always been on the small size; 5'3" ranging between 105-110 lbs. Since this whole thing I have dropped about 10 lbs. I'm a stress-non-eater. Always have been.
The people that I am close to understand my size and the reasons why...it's comments from people that I infrequently see or from people I just meet that grate on my last nerve.
For example: I was playing a doubles match yesterday. One of the ladies from the opposing team said to me "your tiny; but strong" THEN the other partner said "you should go eat a Big Mac". My partner and I just laughed it off, but it really bothered me.
Another example: I bumped into a mom of my dd's friend that I haven't seen in a while. She said "you've lost a lot of weight". I didn't want to get into my whole business and agreed with her. Then she starts telling me about her new diet plan. She's overweight. What came to my mind to say is that "I'm on the divorce-diet program"; it's very expensive, stressful and time consuming but it works". I held my tongue.
You know, I would never make a comment to someone if they gained weight, why do women think that they can comment on my weight loss?
My partner said to me that I should have said I have cancer and maybe they would have let me win a few points!
I have to let it go but it bothers me. Just a vent and throwing it out here. 
Annie, I understand your frustration. People tend to open their mouth and stupid falls out before their brain is actually in gear.
"I'm on the divorce-diet program"; it's very expensive, stressful and time consuming but it works". I'd do that! ROFL I'd never do the cancer thing though, cancer is something that I take seriously, so I'd never use it to *joke* around.
I'm sorry you're getting all these comments. I DO understand the weight drop though, I'm a stress-non-eater as well, depending on the type of stress. And 1.5 to 2 years ago when I was going through a lot emotionally, I dropped 16 lbs. in 4 months, weight that I didn't have to lose and my clothes were falling off of me, I looked gaunt.
Letting it go is probably the best option, and you KNOW you have us to vent to!
{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}
Karen is absolutely right, IMO, and I also love the "I'm on the divorce-diet program" response. It is witty and should stop people who don't know you in their tracks. Other than that, chalk it up to basic human rudeness and let it go. Hugs and prayers for you and your dks.
Really I think when it come to weight people comment because they are jealous. It seems most women want to lose weight, and if you found some miracle they would like to know about it.
I am on the other side of the spectrum. When I play tennis, I often will hear comment afterwards, I was so suprised at how many balls you got to. Or wow you move well for your size. I am an 18, I am not HUGE. Also we are on a competative team, my team wouldn't have me if I could hold my own (we are a 4.0 team), what do people expect?
Thanks, girls. Karen, I would never say anything about cancer, that was a comment between my tennis partner and I because we were losing.
Thanks for all of your support! I would not be in the place I am now if my family, friends and momsview friends were not behind me.
I have a friend who is naturally very skinny, she actually looks to be an unhealthy weight but that's just her metabolism. People say things to her all the time about her size, and she says like you did, they wouldn't say it to an overweight person, so why is it ok for someone who is thin?
I am the oppposite - BIG stress eater here!
I am not defending the rudeness of people, but I think sometimes people really believe that they are showing that they care about you, and are showing concern.
I have the opposite problem. I AM a stress eater, and it is SO-O-O hard for me to lose weight. I literally have to starve and exercise myself into exhaustion. I have lost 50 lbs. on Weight Watchers twice, and gained it back. I am hypothyroid and take medication for it, but it's just my metabolism, genetics, etc. I have finally decided, at 59 years old, to just accept myself at size 20.
However, I have had relatives make comments about my weight. I have an elderly aunt who has always been very trim. She never fails to "remind" me that I am heavy, as does my 87 year old mother, who has been heavy all of HER life as well. They both remind me how "unhealthy" it is to be heavy. Except for arthritis in my knees, brought on by Lyme Disease several years ago, I get around just fine and do everything I want to do. I exercise at the YMCA regularly.
I think sometimes people don't know what to say, so they say stupid things.
Annie, it does stink that people feel they need to make small talk about weight. You know, all in all, it must just remind you of how you got there in the first place and, if they knew, they probably wouldn't comment on it. It's just a constant reminder of your divorce/stress...I'm sure you're thinking, "Thanks for the reminder! Jerknose!" LOL
Anyway, I'm sorry you are getting those comments. I think they are envious and, to a certain extent, unable to make small talk adventurous...you know, like "getting to know you"?
Wayyyyyyy back in the day...I actually had the same problem. I am 5'5" ,and at the time I weighed MAYBE 105. People used to ask me if I was sick. I even went to a Dr for help in gaining weight ( he told me to eat a milkshake every day !!) But life,3 kids , divorce and eventually marrying a man with a HUGE appetite and a love of eating out...took care of the skinny problem...and now I wish I could "sort-of" go back to that problem !! TeeHee.But my youngest DD has the same problem that you do Annie. She is very tiny, wears a 2 ( I think) and has 3 children.She gets so fired up when the ladies that she works with makes comments about her size. But, as tiny as her body is, her personality is bigger than life! She would have fired off with the "divorce weight loss plan in a heart beat !!
Hi Annie,
I'm new here, but I hope you won't mind my perspective on the (dumb) comments you've been hearing.
It might be that the people who say things have been so focused on overweight that they really can't believe comments about being tiny or losing weight could be offensive. After all, lots of us Large Ladies would love to have people say we were losing weight and looking skinny! If I ever said anything about a woman being small, it was an indirect compliment (mixed with some jealousy, as Kaye & Mrsheidi suggested above). But Annie, after reading your post, I swear (with my right hand on my mouse) that I'll never carelessly comment on someone's weight again--even if their weight seems to me to be entirely enviable. I love your Divorce-Diet Program description--and I hope you get off the Program before too much longer.
And Hol, I'm so sorry that your relatives snipe at you about your weight. However, I'm glad to hear that somebody who has been heavy all her life has made it to age 87. Gives me hope!
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