I wonder why it is so hard for my family/friends to believe that I am happy with my job situation. Yes, I graduated and I have my degree, and I am super proud of that. But right now I am just waiting tables part time, just so that we can have a little more cash flow. Everyone I know makes me feel so... I don't know, beneath them for working in a restaurant. I am happy where I am! I like only working part-time while my children are small. The baby doesn't have to go to daycare this way, and I get two days during the week where it is just the two of us.
I can't imagine working 9-5, getting home around 6, and then it would be time to eat, take baths, and go to bed. It just seems like it would be so stressful and exhausting. And if I don't HAVE to, why should I?
Yes, I could probably make more money, and yes, the longer I wait to get a job, the harder it will be. But I am happy with my situation. I don't understand why no one else in my life can see that!
I feel so much pressure from my family to start working. But I'm just not ready for my "real" job. My babies will only be babies for so long!

By Crystal915 on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 08:26 pm:

Don't worry about what other people think, as long as you are happy. Personally, I enjoyed waiting tables and bartending, I can't do that now because I need the health benefits my current job, but there is nothing wrong with your choice!! They are probably jealous that you don't have to work full time in a job you hate, just to make ends meet. You get to see your babies, and it sounds like the arrangement is perfect for your family, so ignore the naysayers!!

By Reds9298 on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 08:46 pm:

Ditto Crystal!! My parents almost had a coronary when I quit teaching to stay home with Natalie. They didn't get it, but they are $ hungry and I am not. If it feels right for you and your family, don't even consider what others are thinking about it! Getting an education is about making opportunities for yourself, when you're ready to take them.

By Cocoabutter on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 09:03 pm:

Double ditto Crystal. And yes, it is very stressful, speaking from experience. And the next time you hear a news story about a child getting molested at a daycare you can be thankful that you haven't handed your kids off to strangers to care for them.

By Sandysmom on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 09:18 pm:

Everyone was shocked when I left my job with the State of Maryland of 8 years to become a SAHM. But I was so miserable and I have always wanted to be a SAHM so I didn't care that I left all that money behind. It was worth it to me even though others just couldn't fathom in their minds how it could possibly be worth it. So don't worry about others and if it works for you, then it's really none of their business.

By Kym on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 09:27 pm:

Oh Jennifer how I hear you! I have been a waitress off and on since before my daughter was born. I have NEVER worked a 9-5 job and when my two older were younger waitressing brought in as much if not more than my friends who were owrking "professionally. All without the cost of daycare, closet full of professional clothes etc etc etc! I think it's hard for people to understand the being a GOOD waitress is a skill and profession in itself, even some good ol gals here, froma past "tipping" debate! In some parts of the country someone has to die to get a server job I have a group of "white color" friends, and when my own company recently went through some changes that cost some cash, I too went back to working a few nights a wee, my friends all offered me jobs because "how could you wait tables?" I told them I have a 3 year old at home that needs me, and I need to bring in X amount of $ a week, I can easily manage that by serving only 3 nights a week for less than 5 hours. But truly the didn't understand.

I applaud you for taking the road that will cause the least amount of upset to your family! Tag team parenting is always a better option for me too!

By Debbie on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 10:37 pm:

I have so BTDT. No one could believe that I gave up my great paying, management job to stay home. Well, no one, but my parents. They were very supportive.

As long as you are happy, don't worry about what others think. Spending time with your dks is very important. You will never regret your decision. I have been kind of down lately because mine are growing up way to fast. I have really been missing them lately. It just seems that every year passes more quickly then the next. So, enjoy your babies now, and do what you want!!

By Dawnk777 on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 11:12 pm:

Hey, I love my casual position. Some weeks I have more days off than others. It's great. Some weeks I have bigger paychecks than others, but I love that I don't have to work every single day, every single week. My life is more stressful, when I do, though, even with bigger kids, and now only one kid. She still has to get places and I still have to go to open house, after working all day! LOL!

(Although, tonight, my knitting didn't go well and Emily is crabby from a heavy homework load, so we are both feeling a little stressed!)

I say, follow your bliss. Babies grow up WAY too fast and pretty soon they are starting college.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 12:00 am:

My sister has her Bachelor Degree in Accounting and she is a waitress at a local VFW. She has worked there for over 4 years and she loves it. She works Thursday and Friday nights and every third Saturday morning.

They decided that she would stay home and raise their children, before they even got pregnant with the first child. She started at the VFW after the birth of her DD (after a small break) because it gave her spending money and a 5 hour break twice a week from her kids, when she started she worked Tuesday night and Wednesday night and every third Saturday.. Saturdays she is home before they are even out of bed..

Oh and on a good weekend, she makes more than all of her girlfriends make working 40 hour weeks at their real jobs because she doesn't have to pay out for babysitting and dad has had one on one (with no mom) with the kids their whole lives because of her taking that mom break twice a week.

Anyway, YOU are accountable to yourself and your children and you have to live with the choices you make, NO one else... Follow your heart and if and when it is time, you will know it is time and until then it isn't their business, unless they are paying your bills..

People tend to belittle the things they envy.. Think about it and keep that in mind the next time something says something negative to you about this.

By Enchens on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 12:35 am:

Oh, honey. Ignore all of it. I echo a lot of what has already been written. I've given up ever getting tenure because we hadn't stayed in one place long enough. We've moved around to find the right place to raise our family, and then, after we started our family, I quit. I was two months away from tenure at my last job. So now, if I go back to a job in my field, I would start from the bottom again. I get "the look" from some folks. Do I care? Nope. Because I know my kids, they know me and I would much rather play "rescue mission" with them than go to work and worry about climbing the ladder.

By Unschoolmom on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 08:09 am:

I think a lot of people dismiss jobs like waiting, retail etc. but frankly, those were my favourite. I enjoy people and those jobs are perfect for that. I've never been a manager but my husband is and I've watched the job suck the life out of him (he'll be changing jobs in the new year).

By Jelygu on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 08:16 am:

Thank you so much! You ladies have made me feel so much better. I know that my family's happiness is what really matters, and I shouldn't let other people's opinions bother me. You all are great!

Kym- Waitressing has really taught me how to multi-task, be more efficient, and solve problems. I will never regret working in this industry because I think it has been a valuable experience for me. Also, I was really shy when I started (way back when I was 16) and it really brought me out of my shell and taught me how to work with/deal with people. And yes, I work about 20 hours a week, and make more than I would if I put the baby in daycare and got an entry level job.

Once again, thanks for all the support. I feel a lot better after reading all those kind words

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 10:12 am:

Jen, first of all, I admire you for waitressing. I could *never* do that job for a miriad of reasons, the first one because my memory is so bad and I would be eating all day.
On a more serious note, your degree will never go away...your children will be in school full time before you know it and then, and only then, will you even feel remotely ready.

More and more moms are putting their career, their degrees, on hold. I have a biology degree with 3 certificates in 3 different states. I gave up my tenure status so I could stay at home full time and I don't regret it for a minute!!!

Anyone gives you a hard time you can picture us behind you...all of us!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 10:12 am:

There has to be some one to pump gas, mow grass and yes wait tables.. If the world was full of White color workers (America's dream) we would be in a whole lot of trouble. I have told my children, if you work and hate your job it doesn't matter how much you make. If you work and love your job the money is just a bonus. You should take pride in what you do because all jobs have a purpose and a reason or they wouldn't be out there.. Talking down at or about people that work in the "low paying" jobs serves no purpose. If that guy wasn't standing there flipping your burger, because it is bellow him, where would we be? Someone has to do it, right?

Wait your tables, smile, make your money and enjoy your children..

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 02:31 pm:

Waitressing helped pay for college! I don't think I would want to do it now, though!

By Wandilu on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 11:04 pm:

Well, since I'm the "good ol gal" that started the tipping debate,I guess I need to join this conversation. I went back and read my opening statements just to make sure that I remembered what I said.My debate was not about the waiter/waitress and if their job was demeaning or not.As I said in the beginning, I waited tables for years.So I fully understand the point that Jennifer is making. And I also agree with everyone else; it allows her to spend wayyyy more time with her kids, her DH, etc.And she is happy with her decision, and that makes for a happy home life for her and her family. I was talking about the flip side of the coin...that we, as customers , should not have to pay the wages for waiters/waitress' instead of the restaurant's themselves paying them. And, I think the wait staff should be paid a very GOOD wage, because they absolutely deserve it! If they can pay a chef high dollars to prepare the food, then they should pay the wait staff high dollars for dealing with the public, and doing exactly what the term "waiting on" means,literally waiting on the customers needs. In most cases, a person returns to a rest. because of how good they were treated while they were there.So, Jennifer, please don't think I was belittling you or any or wait person I was referring to the other side of the coin.

By Sandysmom on Tuesday, September 18, 2007 - 11:34 pm:

Not that this goes along with the original conversation, but in reference to what Wanda is saying, I am personally shocked that waitresses are so underpaid. Not too long ago, I inquired about housecleaning services and was astounded at the rate they were asking. ($55.00 and hour) But usually, people in the service industry are, sadly, underpaid. Working with the public is not easy.