I recognize that I can be a total neurotic! I also recogize that it's only been a week since school started! So, with those two things stated, I have a question... Did your kindergarten children make friends on their own or did you kind of help them along? AND... what do you do when the one kid your child did make friends with decides they may not want to be friends? Told ya I'm neurotic!!!

OK... so, my DD made a friend on the first day of school (actually, I found the child and introduced my DD to her and her mother). They were both so nervous about starting school that the first three days, they marched in together, holding hands. On day four, my DD is, of course, looking for her new friend, who is with the little red haired girl. The little red haired girl is five going on 25! All about the clothes and nail polish and being first in line! So, day four, five and today, new friend runs over to little red haired girl, with hugs and hellos, leaving my DD standing with me watching! They run to the front of the line and leave me DD totally out.

So, we've already been invited to new friends birthday party on Saturday. But, I'm afraid DD will be left out again. Or should be just go and I let her deal with the making of friends?

This chapter was obviously missing in the "What to do when you have kids" manual!

By Vicki on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 09:07 am:

Kids seem to work it out on their own. I would stand back and try hard not to get involved too much at this point. Is your dd even noticing? You may notice way more things than she does. Is she talking about not having any friends? If it doesn't seem to be bothering her, I certainly wouldn't mention a thing to her.

Believe me, kids work things out, it is when the parents get involved that it gets hairy. LOL Let things take a natural course and see where it leads. Now, if someone is being down right mean or bullying, that is a totally different subject and you should talk with the teacher about it. But for now, I think she is just getting to know classmates as well as they are getting to know her. Best friends will change often for now!

By Breann on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 10:22 am:

I've learned that you can't make your kids be friends with other kids. They have to find their own groove, and their own "clique" where they are comfortable.
I would let her go to the party. There will probably be lots of little girls there and she will make lots of new friends

By Tink on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 10:29 am:

I'm with Vicki. She's got a whole classroom full of kids to get to know and pairing up now could keep her from getting to know other children well. Trying to force a friendship with kids rarely ends up with two happy kids. Encourage S to talk to other classmates when her first friend isn't available.

I always set up as many playdates as I could stand when my dks started kindergarten. Time spent together outside of school seems to cement friendships and I got a good idea of how they interact and how the other child acts when there isn't a crowd around.

By Angellew on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 11:02 am:

You're right! I just have to leave things alone. I know the problem is me, not her!

She's just so much younger, emotionally and socially, than the other kids, I get worried! And her speech still isn't as sophisticated as the other children. She's made huge strides in the last year, but she's still not where I'd like her to be!

But, you're all right and I'll try to chill out and take a back seat! I didn't have these worries last year at pre-school and she did fine. But, I had more control and constant, daily reports on how well she was doing! But, that's what I paid them for!

So, I'll just hang back and let her find her own way!

By Dawnk777 on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 02:42 pm:

My daughter had a girl that she liked at school. They often played together at recess and stuff like that. They were Jehovah's witnesses, though, and didn't participate in any classroom parties. She would bring the girl later, after the party was over. My few attempts at a playdate were met with all kinds of excuses, on the other mom's part. I was so sad for my daughter, because she really liked that girl, but I just had to explain to Emily, that it just wasn't going to work out.

By Crystal915 on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 08:36 pm:

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about her being emotionally or socially younger. She'll do just fine, and she'll make friends on her own. Shane is a bit speech delayed, and he does just wonderfully with other kids! He's got a bubbly personality, and is very sensitive, so he gets along well with almost everyone. Kindy is all about letting go, so just try and relax, it'll all be fine!!

By Debbie on Monday, September 17, 2007 - 10:44 pm:

Ditto everyone else. I definitley think this is a stage that is harder on us then our kids. She will make friends. There will be some kids that she will click with more then others. As long as she is not bringing it up, I would just let it be. If she does bring something up, then I would just try the best you can to guide her on how to deal with it.