I'm not sure what to do. I received an invitation today for a wedding - I think.

It is a simple card from the parents of the bride requesting the honor of our presence etc.

There is no reply card and no contact information. There isn't even a return address on the envelope. This is for my cousin's wedding (the groom). They live far from us so should I assume that the invitation was just a courtesy and that they think we are not attending? Should I reply and if so to whom? I'm not really close to this cousin, he's not someone I would usually call, I don't even have a number for him.

Would you send a gift if you were not attending?

By Tink on Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 06:26 pm:

How difficult would it be for you to get some type of contact address for your cousin or the parents of the bride? If it isn't a hassle, I would send a simple card thanking them for the honor of an invitation and explaining that the distance makes it too difficult for you to attend. When dh and I were marrying, many people simply sent cards with a token amount of money or a small gift card or just acknowleged that they would not be attending. That's my experience.

By Crystal915 on Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 08:15 pm:

Honestly, I think that was a very odd invitation. At the very least, there should have been a return address so you could acknowledge the invite. No advice on how to respond, but it makes me wonder what people are thinking!

By Bellajoe on Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 08:32 pm:

I'm thinking that someone forgot to put the response card in the invite.

See if you have the number for your cousin or aunt and uncle so you can call someone and let them know if you are going or not.

By Kaye on Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 09:49 pm:

The other thought is, if this is an afternoon wedding, like 1 or 2, they are only doing cake and punch and rsvp's aren't important. I wouldn't bother either way. I would get a card and send either a gift card or cash and a congrats note.

By Tonya on Thursday, August 23, 2007 - 11:07 pm:

We just sent out our invites and they all had RSVP cards already labeled with the address to send thm back to and they were all stamped for the mail. Etiquette said this was the way to do it. Plus it had a RSVP deadline.

I would just send a card with a small GC to somewhere and a thanks for the invite note with regrets because of distance.

By Chai~latte on Friday, August 24, 2007 - 07:23 am:

Kaye, I think you may be right.

I looked at the invite again, the wedding is at 2 pm and it says "Dance to follow at 9 pm", they are holding it at a community center. As there is no dinner there is no need for an RSVP. It is a very rural area and they will probably have a cash bar which seems to be customary in this area.

Thanks ladies, I thought it was an odd invite but now I see why they did it this way.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, August 24, 2007 - 11:13 am:

If you do not attend, you are not required to give a gift - it is just a really nice gesture.

If you cannot attend a wedding for someone that you really should/want to (like a close relative / good friend), send a gift. You send it because you are close to them and you want to send it. In any other case, random invites to people you aren't close to, a card of recognition of their special day is more than enough and is considered proper.

No return address, request for RSVP.. Contact someone that would know how to get the card to them, (your mother, grandmother, aunt) other wise you can't send something if they give you no way of making sure they get it.