Picky eaters
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive August 2007:
Picky eaters
I am not talking about kids either LOL...Do you have family members who are picky eaters? I am not talking about diet related issues, just picky?
I am thinking ahead. We are having company in town over Labor Day weekend. My parents will be here 6 nights, no problems with them, they are not picky. My aunt will be in town 4 nights, no problem there either. My sister in law and brother in law will be in town for 5 nights, brother in law, no problem . My sister in law..well thats another story.
Im thinking ahead, on stuff to make for dinner for these people. I know some nights we will go out. I was thinking grilling hamburgers and hotdogs. We normally always buy the premade hamburger pattys 93% one. His sister refuses to eat any hamburgers she does not make herself. She will not eat a hamburger from fastfood, or even a nicer restaurant. She said if she doesnt make it herself she will not eat it.HMMM does this seem odd to you? One time we were at my inlaws(yrs ago)and they were going to make hamburgers from hamburger meet. My sister in law took over, saying she would only eat them if she made them.
She loves Fried shrimp, yet refuses to go to Red Lobster saying their food makes her sick. But, the fried shrimp from Abblebees does not
She likes pizza, says Pizza hut makes her sick, but Little Ceasers doesnt.
She has had health issues during her life(has had cancer for most of her adult life, but is in remission). But, her pickiness with food has nothing to do with that.
I just dont want all the company going separate ways for dinner, but yet I feel like we have to cater to my sister in law because she wont eat what the others eat.
Do you have picky eaters in your family that are not kids??
My middle sister doesn't like berries, or green peppers, but that is usually easily enough accomodated. I myself, pretty much eat everything. I just don't like olives, but sometimes I eat them anyway, or I pick them out and give them to DH.
In fairness, some people can't eat Pizza Hut because it's much greasier than some pizzas, and Red Lobster is touchy to some because it's seafood (I wouldn't eat any seafood in KS, we're landlocked!). I don't like a lot of foods, I dislike places like Applebee's and Friday's. Still, I'll go, and make due, if that's where the other parties want to go. If nothing else, I'll get a salad or chicken!! I think if you are a picky eater as an adult, you have to make sacrifices for social grace.
Ditto, Crystal. There are certain restaurants I prefer to avoid, but if the majority are okay with it, I just order what I'm comfortable with eating. Same if I were to go to someone's home. I'm not a picky eater, but if I was, I wouldn't want the hostess to worry or cater to me. Just have some simple side dishes, and hopefully your SIL will be able to eat something. To answer your question, though, no picky adult eaters in our family. Well, I should say my dh's family. Now mine is another story. My mom brings her own food if she's going to eat at someone else's home, mine included. And she will not eat in restaurants.
Are you having a family reunion? Sounds like you're going to have a large group. Hope it will be fun!
Nicki-not a family reunion so to speak.My son is having his Bar Mitzvah Labor day weekend. That is why we have so many people visiting at once. My sister in law and brother in law stay with us. My parents and my aunt stay at a hotel. My mother has hip problems,and can not go up and down stairs. That is why she doesnt stay with us anymore. All our bedrooms are upstairs as well as the shower. We have a downstairs bathroom, but no shower on the first floor.
My DH is the pickiest eater!!!!! He eats 3 things - red meat, potatoes, and bread and that's NO LIE! I don't know how he stays slim. It's very difficult to plan meals because he eats ZERO other vegetables, and doesn't care for chicken either. He seems to have gotten pickier over the years, even though that didn't seem possible. Eat means an extra side or two for Natalie and I and limited meal options. UGH.
Can you get turkey or veggie burgers for the SIL? Pizza Hut has other items besides pizza, don't they? Maybe she could choose one of those? I have a sensitive stomach and there are certain foods that I can't combine or eat on an empty stomach, so if we go out with family, etc. I just try to pick something else off the menu.
I can understand some of this woman's *quirks* - certain restaurants use too much salt in their food, or it's too greasey - Red Lobster is one of them, and since I have problems with salt, I won't eat there. It could be just as Crystal said, different chains prepare their food with specific seasoning, or it's just plain greasey. Food allergies and stomach issues, such as IBS, gall bladder problems, etc. come into play with many people, and quite honestly, they probably don't want to broadcast that.
On the other hand, she may just have some sort of control issue with the hamburger thing.
I'd serve whatever it is you plan to serve. She should be able to find enough to pick at to eat, and if she's still *that* hungry, then she can go out and feed herself. Sorry if that sounds cold, but you can only do so much to accommodate people with food allergies, or people who just can't be pleased.
What else are you planning to serve when you grill your burgers and dogs? Maybe a veggie or fruit tray, what sides will you have?
Ditto about the restaurants. I love pizza, but I can't eat Pizza Hut. I get horrible heartburn whenever I eat there. And, there are some restaurants that I don't care for. Now, if a group was going, I would go and find something to eat. If I was host, and I knew that someone didn't care for a certain restaurant, then I would just pick another one.
As far as the hamburger thing, I don't get that.
Now, I do have a child that is a very picky eater because he has GERD. So, I am probably a little more sympathetic then most.
So, I guess if I was hosting some out of town guests, and I knew one had some food issues. I would try and work around them....I wouldn't pick a restaurant that I knew they didn't like, and I probably wouldn't serve somthing, like hamburgers, if it was going to be an issue. My SIL is a little picky. But, there are tons of things she does like. So, when my brother and SIL come, I just make sure I make things that they like. No big deal to me.
But, I would definitely not expect someone to do this for me if I had an issue. I would just find something that I liked, and eat that.
The funny thing is, we dont really have a pizza hut close by LOL.. I am just remembering conversations from the past when we were ordering pizza for delivery.
About the Hamburger thing, I really dont know where that came from. I mean, she will eat them, its only if she can make them.
She is very anal.
We live in Va Beach, there are tons of restaurants to choose from. Its just been a tradition when we see my parents we eat at Red Lobster.LOL..We only eat there twice a year. Once when they come see us, and once when we visit my parents.
My parents are coming in town one day before, so maybe we will make that Red Lobster night.LOL That way no worries.
About when we grill the hotdogs and hamburgers here. Honestly, I am not that organized. I am normally not a planner by nature. I try my best when I have company in town to plan more then normal.
Plus with the Bar Mitzvah and the food that will be ordered and such. I am not sure how much leftovers we will have if any. I am ordering trays of food for the lunch afterwards. I have around 30 people total. Of course there have been some who have not rsvp. I am assuming that means no.
I think it would be the perfect excuse to put her to work in the kitchen! LOL 
There are a lot of picky eaters in my extended family. One will only eat restaurant food (age 45) and then only certain restaurants. Another will only eat 5 items (age 25). Another eats very few things, too, but other than bread and peanut butter I'm not sure what else she eats (she's 40 years old). It's not much.
I don't consider myself picky but cannot tolerate any melons at all - physically makes me ill - so I can empathize with these other people and their preferences. They just have more than just melons to deal with.
I don't think there is a lot of catering to the picky. You either eat or you don't or you run out and pick up something you want to eat or go to the grocery store and buy your own groceries. It's not a big deal. We laugh about it. Maybe the pickiness is hereditary?
My dh is exactly like Deanna's and it's frustrating but he'll pick at things that he is able to eat at other people's homes or we pick something else up on the way home. If someone like that was coming over, I'd make sure there were a few things she could eat but I wouldn't cater the entire meal to her liking.
I like Heidi's solution to your SIL's picky eating issues.
I wouldn't over think this.. Over thinking things, causes undue stress.. Stress causes what could be a good time to become a burden and something of resentment.. Ask her for suggestions, or plan it all on your own and she will eat what she wants.. but I wouldn't sweat this..
I think that you should not go out of your way to feed her. It should be her responsibility to come up with food, if she is that picky.
Years ago, I went through a vegetarian phase. I did not expect people to accommodate me. I ate what I could and sometimes brought my own dishes.
I would call myself a picky eater. I don't eat things that are mixed up by someone other then myself, unless I was right there to see you prepare it. My friend's and family all have come to understand and know this over the years and( once at a girlfriend's babyshower her host was pre fixing plates and passing them around and my girfriend told her host don't give her this or that) and no one saw anythingn wrong with that.
This is known abtut me and like most of the ladies have saiad , fine I still get invited to parties card games what ever the occasion. I'm usually asked to prepare certain dishes and bring or to come early to help with food preparation (becaue they know that I won't eat it other wise) summertime is cook out time and of course you need sides, I'm the designated side dish preparer.
But to make a long story short. Yes if you know it will be an issue , I think when your in-laws arrive a day earlier,if going out that evening/night to eat at Red Lobster is all right wih them then thats when you should go ( they don't have to know the reason why you choose that night to go) and as far as preparing food for the grill, if you wnat hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill, this is your home and I believe it's your decision what you want to prepare. If she wants something different then let her make a way to get what she wants, I mean thats her responsibility, if she wants something else then sshe is suppsoed to get it not you. If yu feel too harsh doing that, then on your way to prepare for the trip to the grocery store for your items, you can let her know your plans and call before she arrives or ask onece she is here and say to her, were planning on hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill, I'm on my way to the store for the items now, is there anything in piticuliar, or different, or that I can pick up for you while I'm there?
DandJmom--so what is the reason why you have to mix it yourself? Are you afraid the preparer hands are dirty, or that they will put something in it you dont like? I guess I am just trying understand. My sister inlaw is only like this with hamburgers..Ive seen her eat casseroles and Lasagna that was prepared by somebody else. She has no problem with this stuff, just hamburgers.
So what are you afraid of when somebody mixes food?
I can't speak for your sister in law, maybe she just likes hers done a certain way. It's not scared that they did anything to it. I guess it's this thing I have with germs, I'm not saying my friends or family are nasty(i eat my aunt's cooking and a few other people)
Let me say it like this , If I spend time out with you then I see how you are, if we are at a restaurnat eating and you never go to wash your hands before you eat (I look at that) if your eating and stop to pick up something off the floor or ground and then just go back to eating with the same hand(I look at that)and so on. So if you do it this the streets out in public then who's too say what you do in your own kitchen.
I mean everyone (I know, I have)sneezed, had thier hair itch, eye itch while preparing food and naturally you cover your mouth,rub your eye, stratch your hair. But I know me I know what I do and I make sure I turn the hot wather on get the hand soap and grab some paper towels and dry my hands before returning to my food. But I can't say what that person may have done with no one there to see them. Not saying they don't do the same and clean there hands but I'm not there.
My daughter calls me iffy. because I wave to peopel I don't(unless absolutely nesessary) touch peopels hands, I don't know where you have been or what you have been doing all day.
So it's not that I think someone will do somethign with me,it's just me I guess, more so of what have you done or not done. I know that peopel aren't all ways clean. And yes you maybe saying well what idf they thought the same of me. Thats there choice there right if they feel that way, but everyone I associate with had's been in my house, seen my kitchen,bedroom, bathroom etc, and they have all said and know that you could eat off my floors if you wanted too. But at the same time if someone was to show up o my house with there own foods then fine thats what makes them comfotable. But I don't expect anyoen to go out of there way or me to go ouot of mines to accomidiate them more then what is resonable.
Now knwo that I'm in no way referring to anyone else here, you asked me question about why I feel likek I do about eating somethign that is mixed up and I was just explaining myself.
Oh by the way I do wat out , I dont'erder stuff like mac n cheese, mashed potatoes ( you get the idea) I've worked in mcdonald for the first tiem when I was 25 and after seeign hoe they cook there burgers I no longer eat bugers from Mcdonald's but I'll eat there filet of fish.
Yes I love to cook ( because it's my hands preparing the food) I do more home cooking them eating out , I dont' eat at carryout's at all thats food don't agree with me no way( ulcers).
So agin I hope this visit can turen otu to be a wond'er oen fro your family a wonder day for your son as well as a wonder holiday weekend. and another thougth also,if you wnat the preformend pattieds on the girll thats what you wnat go for it,but its it took much to have a pack of fresh hamburger around?
Me and my kids eat hamburger. There dad he doesnt', so when I'm shoppign I get hamburget for me and the kids and I get a small single pak of ground turkey for him. when i make Hamburger, Speghetti, etc, I prepare my foods as I would but when the noodles are drained and mixed wtih the meat, I mix to one iwth hamburger, one with ground turkey.
I liek my strigbenas adn corn mixed together everyoen in the hsoue is fine wth me doing this except my daughters so I dont' mix hers when I cook that.
I'ts not hard to do maybe because I know that I'm picky and can understand.
Sorry to go on and on but sometimes when yuor saying sometign in words it makes it look so long.
What ever you decide have funa dn if she dosnt' eat somethignthat you have out , then so be it sdont' stress over it , she is a grown woman and if she wnats somethign differently she will get what she wants.
Ops, just remembered had to switch my hard drive, my settings aren't saved so my misspelled words didn't highlight. Sorry.
I would ask her what her favorite meals are.
I am pretty much a carnivore, I do not eat fruits or veggies, though I wish I did, and my SIL is a vegitarian. Getting together for the holidays is always fun for that reason. Our family gatherings are usually a few variations of a certain food, pizzas, soups, lasagnas, etc. We usually make smaller portions of a few different kinds, and that will always satisfy everyone, and everyone gets to eat the same thing, within theme!
On a side note, because I am so picky and no one else around me really is, I will usually eat a bit before going to dinner when I know it will be something I'm not particulatly fond of, or bring something I can munch on.
Good luck, and try not to stress. It will all work out in the end.
If she throws a fit once, make her do it the next time!
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