I read on another post you are having one for your son, we have been invited to one next week for my dd's best friend's brother (we socialize some with the parents.) What is an appropriate gift? I am thinking $. I read about multiples of 18? How dressy is the service? I am assuming a dress or skirt for me, shirt, tie and jacket for DH? What else do I need to know? Thanks.

By Jackie on Sunday, August 12, 2007 - 01:22 pm:

Yes, we are having a Bar Mitzvah for my son
Appropriate gift is usually money. Although I hear some kids get giftcards.My son got his first gift in the mail from my cousin who couldnt make it. It was a check. I do not know about the multiples of 18.
About dressing for the service. I would say it would depend how religious they are. What I mean is there is different levels of Judaism. We are reformed(the least religious of all Judaism, but we are still Jewish
I would say for a lady, a dress, or skirt and blouse type deal. For a man nice dress pants, shirt, and tie. I wouldnt be concerned so much about the Jacket for a man. At Friday night services(not a Bar Mitzvah)some men do wear suits. Some men wear just dress slacks and a nice shirt.If he has a jacket, then by all means he should wear it. I mean,I dont think its neceassry for a man to run out and buy a jacket just for this LOL...
What else do you need to know?hmmm.good question.
The rabbi will talk in Hebrew and English. I do not understand Hebrew myself, so I always wait for the English translation LOL. There were be the prayer book with English and Hebrew words in it. So it is easy to follwo along. Its usually a basic service, with a big emphasis on the Bar Mitzvah boy.
My son is having his Labor Day weekend, and he is just besides himself with worry. He told me he needs another month as he doesnt think he is ready. The Rabbi said he is just fine, and they all get anxious right before.
You will hear a lot of "Mazol Tov" afterwards from the guests, which generally means "congratulations"
Some Bar Mitzvah services are longer then others. Ours is suppose to be 1 hr...I hope I ansewred everything.

By Ginny~moderator on Sunday, August 12, 2007 - 01:42 pm:

In Jewish numerology (gematria), 18 is the numerical equivalent of "chai" - life (remember, in Fiddler on the Roof - "l'chaim" "to life"?). That's where 18 comes into it. Money or gift cards are easy gifts and are generally what is expected unless you know the family well and know what the child would like. I went to a close friend's daughter's Bat Mitzvah and gave her earrings because she was allowed to have her ears pierced as part of the whole Bat Mitzvah recognition of a milestone in her life. But otherwise I would have given money.

What Jackie suggests for dress sounds good to me. If by any chance they are orthodox or close to orthodox, I suspect you would already know. In that case, there would be an expectation of long sleeves, and a head covering of some kind. Mazel Tov is the best thing to say.

By Jackie on Sunday, August 12, 2007 - 04:18 pm:

Its so funny to me, because both my Brothers have had Bar Mitzvahs, and Ive been to many. I had never heard of the 18 thing. I should ask my parents about it.

By Melissa on Sunday, August 12, 2007 - 09:19 pm:

No they aren't orthodox. Thanks that was all very helpful.