My sister called me this morning to tell me the lovely news *sarcasticly speaking*. My brother is at her house right now because her boyfriend went and picked him up this morning from jail!!! He was arrested for a DUI!!! He is underage, drinking, and driving!!! He rolled his car on its side, and hurt his hand climbing out, but he is ok. My first instinct was to yell at him, but I waited until I was calm to talk to him. I asked him what he was thinking, and he was like I wasn't. I hate his attitude!!! He got his license suspended for 6 months, and he says that he has to go to court on the 1st and just has to make a phone call once a month. He's acting like it's nothing. He called the trooper a name I cannot say on here, and I said that he was just doing his job. I told him that it could have been much worse. He's lucky he walked away and didn't hurt/kill anyone. What else is going to go wrong? I love my brother so much, but he is such a spoiled rotten kid, and I cannot stand the way he acts or treats my parents. He thinks everyone should bow to him and wait on him hand and foot. My sister said that he could stay with her, but I told her to make sure that he got off his butt and find a job. I hope that this tought him a lesson, although am sure it didn't.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:59 pm:

Rayanne, Big hugs hun... No suggestions as I have two BIL's that are 43 and 44 that are no better..... Hope he wakes up... More hugs..

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:36 pm:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{RAYANNE}}}}}}}}}}

He needs a serious attitude adjustment, and unfortunately, you are probably not the one to give it to him. BTDT with more than one *child*.....the best thing that could happen to him is some consequences that will make an impression on him. I'm sorry.

By Rayanne on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 03:55 pm:

I know what you mean Karen. Is it bad that I was actually hoping that he had to pay someway? I don't mean anyone getting hurt or anything like that, but some type of consequence.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 04:54 pm:

The same thing happened with my cousin about 8 months ago. The whole family complained about him getting "caught" and losing his license and about how he had to go to a "stupid" meeting for alcohol abuse. So of course he learned absoultely nothing and I imagine he still drinks and drives just like the rest of them. What's frustrating is that you can't even reason with any of them because you get a speech about how they have built up a "tolerance" and can drink and still drive "just fine." For some reason they don't think that anything bad could ever happen to them. For example, even when my aunt, uncle and their kids almost died from carbon monoxide poisoning my folks wouldn't buy a CO detector. Even when I gave them one they wouldn't turn it on!? Finally I told them that if they chose not to use it...then DD couldn't stay there. I just don't get it. Sorry for the rant...I totally know how you feel about wishing people would "get their come-up-ence" for their own good. Going anon since I'm airing the family dirty laundry.

By Cocoabutter on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 07:29 pm:

If he had been allowed to sit in jail he would have had plenty of time to think about what he did wrong.

Next time, leave him there. There isn't anything you or anyone else can do. He's gonna have to take his knocks and learn about it the hard way.

By Boxzgrl on Thursday, July 19, 2007 - 08:12 pm:

A handful of those in my family drink and drive. Unfortunately, I don't think they'll learn until they've killed an innocent person(s). It' sad. And it's a really hot button issue with me. I'm sorry, Rayanne. It's hard when you just don't know what to do because nothing seems like it will get through.

By Karen~admin on Friday, July 20, 2007 - 10:55 am:

Denial..........is not just a river in Egypt.........LOL

Denial is a HUGE player in addictive personalities.

Sometimes you have to do NOTHING in order to help someone with a problem like that; as in doing NOTHING if they get arrested, do not bail them out, do not come to their rescue; as in when they have no place to go, no money, etc., do NOTHING.

Tragically, very often that is what it takes to wake them up. As long as they know they have that safety net, they aren't going to change, because they figure, *if I get into trouble, Mom or Dad or Sis or Brother or Friend will help me out*. They use you up and wear you out, going from person to person, laying all their excuses and lies and attitudes on them one at a time, until they've used up all of their *rescuers*.

Melissa, as someone who was raised in a family of alcoholics, I totally know what you mean, it's a huge hot button with me too.

Tough Love is not easy - in fact, it's the hardest thing you can do. But it may very well save a life of the one you love.