Feel like you should distance yourself from your siblings. I have really had my full of my brother and his wife. my db is blind so what ever my sil tells hime is the god honest truth and at times the things she see's and says are not the total truth. on the 4th we went to my oldest sisters and had a wonderful time my parents where there along with db and his family. My nieces new boyfriend/friend was there a real nice guy. well db called me yesterday and said did I see our niece laying on top of her boyfiend. I didn't and it really didn't matter this girl is almost 18 and what I did she was most of the time they wrestling. He went on to say thats why my dd wouldn't go visit with my Niece. Which dd was sick with a ear infection and a upset tummy so she stayed next to me. But I just get tired of all the did I see or hear grap. I just really get tired with it. I don't get along all to well with my brother now after he married her it all went down hill. She stabbed dh in the back when she worked for him and he hates her. but Its just time I think that we need to distance ourselves from them. Do any of you have family like this and how do you handle them. I think it would be alot different if db could see

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, July 8, 2007 - 08:23 pm:

My sisters and I are pretty close. I can easily talk to both of them. I'm not dealing with the same sorts of things, that you are. Right now, my youngest sister's husband is dealing with cancer treatments, so we are all pulling together.

DH gets along with both his siblings, too. I enjoy his family as much as my own.

My sisters and I occasionally have issues with each other, but they eventually get resolved. My younger sister has never called me so much, as she has since her DH was diagnosed with the cancer.

By Anonymous on Monday, July 9, 2007 - 12:53 pm:

I have one son, who if he wasn't family, I would never have anything to do with. He drives me absolutely out of my mind. Argues about EVERYTHING!!! Knows EVERYTHING! And you can't have a conversation with him without him somehow deciding that we are trying to tell him what to do. He makes the poorest choices. And NEVER apologizes for anything b/c he never does anything wrong in his eyes. I do try to spend as little time as I can with him but he pops up at our house way too much. Everybody can be hanging out and having fun and he can walk in and he's arguing with somebody and everybody goes in to different rooms to get away from him.

I'm posting anon just b/c I do try to keep peace and keep my opinions to myself. And even though he is an A+ jerk, I still don't want to hurt his feelings.

By Cocoabutter on Monday, July 9, 2007 - 01:03 pm:

I don't have siblings (lucky me), but the same applies to anyone you may know whom you care about. There comes a point in time where you have to let go. They have chosen their path. The only thing you could do is pray that he sees her for what she is, someday.

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

By Karen~admin on Monday, July 9, 2007 - 03:38 pm:

I think in ANY family, there are periods of discord between siblings, or parents and children. It's one of those laws of nature - you can't please all of the people, all of the time.

However, I know that in some families, the siblings are very close, while in other families, the dynamics are quite different.

There is still some resentment and even apathy between my younger sister and I that stems from when my mom was sick and dying. I have pretty much let it go, but every now and then, I feel a bit angry towards her. And that is not even really the entire issue with her, it's the way she's lived her life and how it's affected all of our lives. So we aren't *that* close and don't have a lot to say to each other much of the time. HOWEVER, she IS my sister, and I would stand up for her till the death, if I had to.

I think that what you do is entirely dependent on what your relationship with your sibling is like, what the problems are, how they affect you and YOUR family, how you choose to let it affect your life. As Lisa said above, there comes a point in time where you have to let go. You can't make THEIR problems YOUR problems, and you can't allow them to do it.

My feeling is, your are born into a family, they will always BE your family, but as we all know, we can't choose who our family is, and often there are problems that cannot be resolved. So you do the best you can, you set your boundaries, you do the right thing for YOU and YOUR family, but you leave the door open to be there for your family when/if they truly need you. Because after all, when it gets down to it, there are really very few people you can count on in life, and family SHOULD be in that category.

I think if I were you, I'd set some boundaries, boundaries than enable me to feel emotionally healthy, boundaries that prevent your DB's life and family and problems from affecting your family, while letting him know that you care for him and will be there if he truly needs you, but that you aren't going to be sucked into the day to day drama they are creating.

JMHO..............