HELP!!!
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2007:
HELP!!!
I know that someone last week had a list of boredom busters but I have a little more specific of a problem. My girls are 12 and 10 and I need some activities that take NO supervision from me that they can do. Crafts or something like that. I need to keep them busy sometimes when I am cooking and going to the gym. They are driving me crazy with the whole I'm bored. If I run to the store for 15 min, I sometimes get a phone call every 2 minutes asking when I will be home and what they can do. I have tried the whole every time they say they are bored giving them a chore. Well, it doesn't work for me all the time because they won't do it right or in a timely manner so I would rather do it myself sometimes. I just want something that they will enjoy to fill their time when I have other things going on. I just can't seem to think of anything that isn't too messy like paint or something that would keep their attention for at least a little while at a time.
One of my girls get frustrated if things are too hard sometimes. The other one can work on the most tedious things for hours.
Any suggestions would help. I was one of those kids that was never inside during the summer and I was a tomboy so I have no clue about this stuff.
Cross-stitch or embroidery kits? My 9yo has started these and it's a little difficult so it might keep your girls occupied for a while. Let them draw their own designs on a pillowcase and embroider it as they'd like. There's a great series of how-to posts on this blog. Look on the right hand side, titled Stitch school.
Jigsaw puzzles
Scrapbooking
Computer games/video games
Pay them to pull weeds
Board games/cards
Paint by number/color by number
Rent a movie
Squirt each other with the hose on hot days or make sidewalk art with a water pistol
If you have a pick-your-own farm around, take a day and pick whatever fruit/vegetables are in season and have them make a dessert with them
Tell them to ride their bikes a couple of times around the block
And, the standard around here, read a book!
Edited: I used to love the crossword/puzzle books, Madlibs and the Invisible Ink books. My kids seem to enjoy them, too.
Tara, here's the Boredom Busters link: Boredom Busters
Now, as to your daughters not doing a chore right or in a timely manner, if you let them get away with that you are set to be the only person in the house who can do chores for the rest of your life. And I really don't recommend that. My sons each tried not doing it right the first time, so I would go with that son and look over the assigned task and point out the deficiencies, and they had to do it again (and sometimes again and again) until they got it right.
But, those were never chores I assigned when a child said "I'm bored". The chores for "I'm bored" were chores that didn't matter a whole lot but were, in themselves, boring. Like, rake the lawn; sort out your socks and make pairs (I didn't fold laundry, only put clean clothes in the basket, and they'd often put their socks in the drawer unsorted/unfolded); sort out the game pieces in each of the games and put them in the appropriate sections of the boxes; go through all the papers you brought home from school and dumped on your dresser/floor/desk and throw out anything you don't want to keep; walk the dog around the block three times; clean the cat box - and on and on.
The idea is that your children should not be depending on you to keep them from being bored, so when they come whining "I'm bored" you assign tasks that are so boring that they don't come whining to you again.
It's nice that you want to buy projects/things for them to do - it would be better if they went with you to the craft store or whatever and picked out what they'd like to do. That way they're stuck with it because they picked it out.
As for the girls calling you every 2 minutes on your cell phone when you are away from the house ... We didn't have cell phones when my kids were at that very annoying stage, but one thing they did try for a while was bombarding me with questions while I was on the phone. I stopped that fairly quickly by telling them "if you try to talk to me when I'm on the phone and it is not an emergency, the answer will always be NO." If it were my kids calling me on my cell phone "every 2 minutes", I would tell them that each call that does not involve a physical emergency means X period of time alone in your room, or not watching a particular program on TV that week, or some other kind of discipline. They really have to realize that they cannot treat mom as their personal servant and personal source of amusement. And it's up to you to help them learn that lesson.
I do make them go back and redo the chore over and over until it is done right if it is assigned to them. I guess I was looking for some neat things that girls like to do besides video games and watching TV (I did things like played football and boy things). I kinda just wanted something maybe to give me a little bit of get out of my hair time when I first get home to cook or something. I think I will take them to the craft store this weekend and see what we can find for them to do. I didn't even think of cross-stitch or embroidery. I will see what they think of those. They always ask about ideas of crafts but I am not big on stuff like that. I know what I like to do but they don't want to learn any of it.. or they help me do somethings but I would not allow them to do it alone yet, like i am starting to make candles and they get to help but can't do it alone.
Are there other kids for them to play with? It would be hard to play football/etc if it is only the two of them.
Are they home while you are at work? I ask because possibly they are bugging you because they want more time with you.
My son loves the lego sets and can spend an entire day putting one together.
My daughter can get lost in a book, so I make sure she has plenty to choose from.
Paint is easy to clean up outside. I put a garbage bag on the patio table and let my kids get as crafty as the want. When they are done, I fold up the garbage bag and throw it away.
I do not know what type of candles you are interested in making but my daughter (12) has been making container scented candles for almost 3 years now. There are ways to make them very easily without worrying about fire/burns/etc. Let me know if you want instructions.
At 12 and 10, your girls are old enough to start helping you with meal preparation. With caution and watching, of course, but making the salad, helping to measure and mix, learning how to tell when things are done, checking flavoring, etc. If you think you want to try that, I'd suggest you have one girl as helper one week, and the other the next, as cooking is not the time to be watching over two busy sets of hands. All three of my boys started learning to cook when they were 11 or 12, and by the time the youngest was 13, each of them fixed one full meal a week. It took time and planning what kinds of meals they'd fix, but two of them got to be pretty good at it (and the third does very well with the microwave).
Do you have a space and enough good dirt (and enough water) to start a vegetable garden? There is something really neat about being able to go out to the garden and pick the things that will go into the salad and be part of dinner, and it's a great learning experience. Lots of work, of course, but there are ways to keep the work to a minimum. Its the kind of thing mom can help them start and then just keep an eye on.
Do you have a pool you can send them to? I know plenty of kids who go to the pool alone by age 10 (pool rules, younger than that you need a adult). They ride their bikes or walk.
I know my oldest is really interested in candles but I have been making them where I have to melt the wax and she is territfied of burning herself. So any instructions would be greatly appreciated, Yvonne.
As for cooking, I am starting to teach them and let them help me. I am starting out with each helping/ planning a meal once a week. With me working full time that is all I can handle right now. I will try to increase once I am more comfortable with it.
They have no one else in the neighborhood to play with that they will. They really don't like the boys in the neighborhood because the boys "like" them and they find that annoying.
They are not with me all day but they are not alone either. They go between being alone and being with a neighbor after they wake up. I try to get to work at 7 so I can get home by 4:15. They are home with DH until around 10 (about when they wake up) then my neighbor or my sister picks them up to hang out (but their kids are 2-7 which means they are bored there too.
So yes they are wanting my attention too but sometimes I need some space. Plus I am wanting something they can do when with others while I am at work. Something that they don't need help with.
I wish they could go to the pool on their own. The pool around here requires you to be 14 if not with an adult. My kids have been swimming since they were infants. I was a lifegaurd/swim instructor in HS so I taught them really early and they are excellent swimmers. That would be perfect but they are not old enough yet.
Thanks for the advice I just don't have many ideas for girly girls....
We DO melt our wax but we use a crock pot set at the appropriate temp (approx. 200 for the wax we use). The wax is ladled up and poured into a glass jar. This is much safer than the double boiler method.
I know some people that have attached a spout to a kitchen kettle to make it even easier. Here are the directions to do that:
http://www.candletech.com/budgetmelter/index.htm
Are there any camps you could send them to?
Can you arrange for your sister/neighbor to take them to the pool?
How about having them read a book and reward them with a trip to the movies/bowling/some family activity.
We set up a reward for our children. They will receive it after our lab can sit/stay/come/heel/etc. They have been very busy reading the training books and working with Cosmo. He is already doing half the commands.
If you can't find enough to keep them busy during your work week, maybe just promising (and following through) a fun family activity every week will work.
here you will find 101 things to do during the summer
http://www.homeschool.com/articles/101ThingsToDoThisSummer/default.asp
I heard Sky Ranch in Van, TX is offering half price week long sessions to fill up empty spots. Maybe send them off to camp for a week - 2 for the price of 1.
I remember it was popular to make friendship bracelets when I was a kid. I wasn't very crafty then or now but I was going to try and see if I can get directions and teach my dks. I was the age of your girls when I did that.
That is a good idea.. maybe i can find some directions for that online.. i remember my sister making those all the time.
We use to make friendship pins and put them on our shoelaces.That was hours of fun.A few safety pins and some colourful beads.We gave them to our best buddies.
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