Newsweek's 6/18/06 issue has an article about Alzheimer's and an excellent two page guide "A Guide for Caregivers", which is one of the best summaries of the things one has to think about when caring for and about aging parents. Based on my experience, I think this guide is an excellent starting point and lists almost all of the things you have to think about. I am going to scan it and keep it on my computer to send/give to people.

Newsweek Guide

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 08:00 pm:

DH and I have advanced directives, DNR's, have discussed our *wants* with Jen and have actually put them in writing in our wills and healthcare instructions. Jen will be the executrix of our estate. She has copies of all important papers, which list policy numbers, etc. as well as the name and number for our CPA, investment people, and attorney.

Obviously, changes occur with these things too, and it's important to keep your kids or whoever informed when a change is made.

She is aware of certain legacies we have made provisions for in our wills, and we have discussed what she would be responsible for in the case of both of our deaths at the same time.

By Colette on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 08:31 pm:

thank you for posting this. I wish I didn't need it.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 09:15 pm:

BTDT, Collette, but believe me, because I've lived through this - it really does make things a little bit easier to have things in place before you need them. Because if you need any of these measures and don't have them in place, you will find things so incredibly more difficult. I remember my mom calling me absolutely frantic when hospital staff would not talk to her about my father's condition (because he's a competent adult, they said) or his treatment, but were ready to release him when he was clearly suffering from dementia and totally uncontrolled and uncontrollable. And there I was in Philadelphia trying to manage things in Chicago. Thank the Lord, I had friends who had friends who found the right advice for me and my mom, but what a disaster it would have been otherwise. The dementia issue was resolved that time (medication based) and home care was set up before dad was released. You can believe that the first thing we did after we got dad home was to get all the legal documents set up, signed and notarized, which made things so very much easier the next several times he was hospitalized.

One of the issues one faces is that while mom or dad's family doc may be a great doctor who will talk and listen to you, in the hospital the famiy doc is only there for a few minutes a day, doing rounds, and the rest of the time you are dealing with hospital staff - residents, interns and nurses - who don't know you, don't know your parents, and can only do things by the book. So if you don't have the right documents you can be kept totally out of the loop, and even your beloved parent's spouse can be kept out of the loop while decisions are made by medical staff who don't have to live with the consequences. I don't blame hospital staff - they have to follow the rules. But it is so terribly important to talk about things before necessity strikes, and have the paperwork in order. Even with all of the various powers of attorney, surrogacy documents and the like, it isn't ever easy - but it is a lot harder without them.