Today on Oprah--can you be a great mother & have a career?
Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): Today on Oprah--can you be a great mother & have a career?
"Can you be a great mother and a successful career woman? Is it possible for women to have it all?"
I think this is a great topic.
For those of you that have careers, would you quit if you did not need the financial benefit?
Do you think it is better to be home with your kids?
My opinion:
Our decision was that I would be home. We were both raised with mom's at home. Financially, it was not easy at first. The first few years, I raised money by babysitting and selling on ebay so I could be home. It was a sacrifice I would make again. For MY kids I think it is vital that I am home with them. I think SOME of the problems I see with a few of their friends are because their parents are both working parents. As a working mother you cannot do everything. The constant push/pull would drive me nuts.
I"m just happy that women have options! Like me
I KNOW how important it is to be home with my kids, I have 4 and one at home full time still, he needs me, but the other three need me to be home when they get off the bus, attend parties and field trips, go to afternoon band concerts, pick them up when they are sick etc. I feel I have, and the opportunities are out there or can be created, the best of both worlds, I created a business that I can run from my home, and a circle of freinds that I can swap babysitting with!
As far as the income, we have existed on my husbands income for the vast majority of our marraige, we have never relied ( and never will) on two incomes, those times I have brought in a very small income was mad money we never fit it into the budget, now that I have the ability to bring in substantial income we chose to put it back in the business, so we still live very modestly on one income.
I agree with the constant pull/push, for the reasons mentioned above, I cannot imagine having to ask my boss to leave again for a sick kid,etc, I get so many calls for various reasons during the week I would get fired
Good topic, I won't be watching Oprah, have a basketball game, that's another topic, how do moms have time to watch TV But I'll be interested in the debate.
I do think that some can raise healthy happy kids and still have a career. Not me though, I am so glad I have been able to stay at home. I did work for dd's first year and hated every minute of it. I WANTED to be home. I also NEEDED to be home. Maybe as much for me as for her.
Oh, yeah, it can be done. I do it and plenty of other moms I know do it. I did stay home for the first 2 years and I wanted to go back to work. My mother stayed home with us for 20 years but she was SOL when my dad cheated on her and then left her. She got her first job at age 45. Luckily she had a college degree and the kids were all out of the house. But still, she was as poor as a church mouse with no retirement. She's since come into money, but at age 67 she still works full time trying to catch up for all those years being a SAHM playing league tennis at the club.
The key for me was to have a flexible job. I can do or attend any day time function that may occur, no questions asked.
I don't think one choice is better over the other. I've done both. I am much much happier bringing in good money and benefits, contributing to 401(k), filling up my resume without depending on anyone else. My son is 12 now and daycare was nothing but a great thing for him. He was quite the difficult toddler and daycare helped him so much. Now at age 12 whether I work or not doesn't matter. I don't know what I would do at home all day. I get the same amount of chores done now than when I did when I was a SAHM. What else is there to do? I think that's why my mom got into playing league tennis and drinking wine with the other ladies.
I have a relative with 9 kids and she works part time outside the home. It's just so so risky depending on someone else for your full support.
I got to stay home for about 7 years, when my children were young. It was so nice, if someone got sick and I could just be home with them. By the time I went back to nursing, they could stay home by themselves, so we didn't need daycare anymore.
I guess I have never felt like I am depending on someone for full support. Granted, I have always had a side business to bring in a little extra $.
I think being home is more than daycare. I certainly have a lot to keep me busy. My friends, who work outside the home, always joke that I am busier than they are.
My kids are very active in sports. I do not know how I would keep up with that if I worked. As it is, there are times when the sporting events overlap and my hubby goes with one, while I go with the other. We only have 2 kids and they only participate in one activity. How people with more kids/activities do it is beyond me.
Like Vicki, I worked the first year. It was horrible. My husband felt like he never saw me (which he rarely did because we worked different shifts because we did not want to use daycare--another debate).
I quit when I was pregnant with my son. Now, I can't imagine juggling work & home. I like being available for my kids and husband without worrying about a work conflict.
I DO know that I am lucky to stay home. I have several friends who would like to but can't.
I too am a working mother and I believe the key to me being able to do this is that I have a very flexible schedule and work in a VERY relaxed environment. I didn't have much of a choice about working because money was in demand when I was married, but I did stay home for the 1st year with Alexis. Then getting a divorce when the girls were 2 and 4 meant that I had to work to have a roof over our heads, but I also wanted to work. I got extremely bored being at home with a baby. I did all kinds of stuff but once the house is clean and everything else is done I ran out of things to do which doesn't work for me.
I have to say that I would like to go back to school so if we didn't need the money then I would quit to go back to school to be a nurse but as soon as I finished school I would start working againI am just not the type of person that can be a stay home mom..
I personally think it depends on the mom. My sister tells me all the time she doesn't see how I work and do all the things that I do with my girls, but I also tell her I don't see how she can not have a job. The difference is that I HATE not having something to do and she likes to have time do just sit and watch her kids.
Why does this topic always come up? Why if you work it's assumed you can't be a good mom? I know plenty of SAHMs that aren't worth a crap as moms and I know plenty of working moms who are the best moms in the world. And, I know awesome SAHMs that I admire so much and then I know some working moms who should never have had kids.
It's not about the job, it's about the effort that is put into the job of your choice.
I could have stayed home but I have a flexible enough job that I didn't need to. I'm fortunate.
Since my kids were born, I've always worked full-time, coached most every team my kids were on, been a Girl Scout leader and service unit mamager, Cub Scout assistant, been lead room mother for both of my kids for several years, active in church, primary care giver for both parents, kicked butt in a male dominated department at work, and have an excellent marriage. I've never had to have a sitter when my kids are sick. I stayed home with them or my DH did. They are our top priority. I've never missed a game or school event.
Do I look down on women who stay home? Heck no. When I planned a career day for Girl Scouts, I had one of the best SAHMs around come and represent being a SAHM as a career. Because, it really is if done right.
I guess I'm fortunate. I've never felt like I had to make a choice. I was able to have the best of both worlds.
I have done both, I worked when my oldest was little. For me there is no better choice than to stay home. Working was hard, it seemed like all I did was work after I got off, I was always doing laundry, always cleaning something. Our weekends were all about cleaning.
I just couldn't do it all. I was sick all the time (i was teaching elem), and I was stressed out. So now I get up, fix breakfast take the kids to school, do my chores, yes I play tennis too now, but I pick them up at 3, they are doing homework right now, by 4 oclock we will be building/working on pinewood derby cars. I spend most of my evenings with my children doing things with them, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Is one better than the other? For some the answer is very clear. I think it take a highly organized, type A person to make working outside the home and being mom work out well. I was a teacher, my job wasn't flexible. I had to take my daughter to day care, where she got sick a lot more often, I had to miss days to take care of her. I don't know how being a room mom would work. With my yougest I was the only SAHM in the class, I went in daily for 2 hours because the teacher needed help. My son needed a teacher who could teach and not just park them in centers to get work done, I could not of done that working. My youngest has special needs, I have no idea how I would have done therapies with him while working.
Honestly there are just so many hours in the day, I can't imagine having time to get it all done.
Tarable, we have quite a bit in common. I coach a basketball team, I am a GS leader, I was on the service commitee the past two years, I help out quite a bit with my boys, my hubby is the cub master so I do his paper work. Boy does that fill my time, I can't imagine that you get any sleep!
Even with being a SAHM I still miss games and events because I have 3 kids and schedules conflict.
I have a neighbor who works and I am always picking up the slack for her, it drives me nuts. But what are you to do? Today I am picking her child up from school, they have a band contest and can't take the bus home. Then I am taking him to boy scouts, in between I will feed him dinner. She is a teacher, she won't make it home till 8 or 9 tonight.
Also when they are babies, I just can't imagine not getting to hold them all day. The people I know that work, leave by 7, so they have about an hour in the morning, while they are feeding and or dressing. They get home at 6, kids are in bed by 8. So total they get 3 hours with their child. Add meals and bathtime, you really only get a couple of hours, I sure would have missed out on the children's museum, the painting days, the singing days, etc.
I was a SAHM for the most part until this past year. I now work partime but it feels as if it takes a big chunk of my day. I feel like I am just as good of a mom as when I stayed home. I like the idea of going to work and getting out, but thats me, I'm very social. I also go to school fulltime. I think I am able to accomplish more at this point then when I stayed home. I realized that I wanted to be college educated before my daughter goes off to college in 4 years. LOL
Yes, I think you can be a great mother and have a career. Could *I* do it? No, but there are people that can.
I never imagined I would quit my job to be a SAHM. I'm very independent and very anal about "depending on someone" as Mommmie mentioned. That still really bugs me at times, and it was a major reason I debated for a year about whether or not to quit. But fortunately, because I'm anal, I have a decent cash stash that's all mine. If my wonderful DH, who I love so dearly and trust completely decides to run off with a neighbor, I'm in pretty good shape.I have it because I like knowing it's there. My Daddy taught me not to depend on a man.
I had a year's leave to think about it and still maintain my job. Needing the $ wasn't an issue, but ME needing to know that I was doing my part in our financial life was really important to me. Plus the fact that (at the time, please no one get offended) I didn't see how being a SAHM could possibly win out over being a professional in a job that I love and feel called to. That was then. Once I quit worrying about my issues with women's lib and my own independence , it was easy: I WANTED to stay home with my child. The women's liberation movement is about giving choices to women, and once I realized that, it was easy to quit my job and not feel I was letting down the entire female population.
I knew that if I remained in my job, I would be hanging by a thread at everything. I wouldn't be a good mother, a good wife, OR a good teacher, and I'm a VERY organized and planned-out person. Emotionally I would have been a wreck. I feel very good about my decision because it was completely MINE and 2 1/2 yrs later I'm still very proud of that fact. No one pressured me. My DH supported whatever I chose, although in his heart he hoped that I would stay home. I have a really great husband, so it was just left to me to ponder for a year. When I wrote my resignation letter and when I got my confirmation letter from the school board, I bawled both times. I couldn't go in my old room for months without crying. Did it mean I had regrets? No way. I haven't regretted it one bit. It was just sad to say goodbye to one part of my life for a while.
I personally could never be a SAHM once my child is in school. That wouldn't work for me because I love to work and I love my job and my career is very important to me. I have career aspirations that are just on hold right now and when the time comes in a few years, I'll be right back there. One reason I could not be a homeschooler. I'm just not willing to make that committment because I love my career and look happily toward going back.
You can be a great mother and have a career, but I couldn't do it with a little one. School-age on, fine for me, but not when they're little. I would be missing way too much. Now I feel like I'm helping my family and myself by being a SAHM. My DH is thrilled that he gets 5 yrs. off from doing housework!LOL I'm thrilled that I get the opportunity to watch my daughter grow in these early years. I'm so blessed that I can even stay home financially, but that didn't come easily. DH and I lived on one income long before our child was born, just because we thought it was a smart decision.
Deanna, you did exactly what I did. I took my year off, decided I loved it so much didn't look back twice. However I always thought I would go back to teaching once they hit school age. It might be different with just one, but for me, school age is so much more demanding and exhausting! I really start my job at 3 and end at about 9.
Today, I picked kid 3 up from school, he sat by me and did his homework. Kid two walked himself home from school, did his homework, brought it to me, I proofread and printed it out. It is now 5'oclock. I drive to pick up kid 1. She gets home we eat dinner (hubby has just gotten home). My boys have pinewood derby this weekend, so we spend the next hour working on cars. My dd does a load of laundry (long story on that one). At 6:30 we go to scout meetings. My dd is supposed to work on her science fair project and term paper that is due on Friday. She is doing horribly in this class and just can't get going. I point her in the right direction and leave. Hubby takes one boy, I take the other, I drop mine off, go to the other meeting (they needed parents there). I spend 30 minutes drive back to pick up the youngest. I just got home. My dd was "Surfing", guess who just lost computer her email account for the next month (she had already lost it and was getting it back next week). So here she sits by me working on science fair. I still need to clean up from dinner. She will be working probably till 10 tonight. My other son will be home soon, just in time to shower and go to bed. My youngest is in the shower, and he still needs to read to me (which can't be downstairs because it disrupts my daughter). By time they are all in bed I am exhausted! I really just don't know how single moms do it all. One of my boys is a real go getter and does he work, but my dd, is very strong willed, she really has to be babysat right now, I think she is testing to see if her teacher really will fail her...geesh (she will, I know her), but she usually bats her eyes and smiles and gets away with a lot at school. She is a good kid, just has this stubborn streak. I refuse to let her fail, so I get to babysit...fun fun.
Anyway, my point is, this is NOT what I thought I would be doing with my life, but I Know this is where I need to be. Will I go back to work? hmmm one day, I think I will go to a private school and teach part time though, but we will see, everything something comes up, things seem to fall apart here! Being special ed, I get offered a job about once a month, I have gotten very good at saying NO!
Oh, and as it was mentioned by someone before...what's TV? I have ONE child and TV is no where in my day! LOL Now that I'm a SAHM, I can't imagine how I did everything before. The days fly by so quickly. I guess I do more around the house though than before, because DH and I split things up pretty well house-wise when I worked.
Another thought I have: I just respect when SAHM's and WOHM's are honest about their reasons for what they have chosen. I have a friend w/ 2 kids, 6 weeks off, back to work full-time. She will tell you anyday of the week that she can't stand being home with her kids full-time. I don't understand that, but I respect her honesty. Then I have friends who tell me they "can't quit working due to finances" when they are both driving $40K cars and have a $2500/mth. mortgage,and 3 vacations a year. No, what you MEAN is that you like your life and your things and you don't want to give them up. Just SAY that. I can respect honesty, but please - don't act like it can't be done. Just say you don't want to do it for heaven's sake.
Deanna, I said the same thing. I would just stay home when they were babies, and then I would go back to work. I left a job I loved, and I was making great money. But, it was a job that required long hours, with little to no flexibility. I decided I couldn't be the mom I wanted to be while doing that job. So, while I loved it, it was an easy decision to leave. Well, my dks are now school age, and I am busier then ever. I help at school 3 afternoons a week, I work in the library, and then help both my boy's teachers one day a week. Between, running errands, cleaning house, cooking dinner, exercising daily, helping at school, doing activities that I enjoy, and keeping up with my boy's activities, my days are full. I love that as soon as my dks are home, I have time for them. I now have time to do things that I enjoy, like reading, scrapbooking, etc. I never had time for these things when they were babies. I also love that I can get everything done during the week, so the weekends are nothing but family time. I like the fact that I am very involved in my dks lives, and I know their friends, what they are doing, and who they are doing it with. I usually have most of the neighborhood kids at my house after school. And, I don't mind. Now, this is the first year both my dks are in school full time, so I may change my mind in a few years. But, for now, I still love being at home. I am lucky that my dh makes a great salary, so it doesn't effect us financially.
I think everyone is different, and you have to do what is right for you and your family. I have a friend, and she just didn't like staying at home. She is a much better mother, now that she is working. Her dks are great kids, and she has a wonderful relationship with them. It seems to be really working for her and her family.
I pretty much agree with everything that has been said so far on the issue. And while it may sound like I watch a lot of TV, I really don't. I don't watch any prime time, but if something looks interesting, I tape it and watch it when ds goes to bed.
I taped Oprah Tuesday and I also had taped Liz Vargas' first 20/20 Show which aired back on November 9 on the working mother dilemma. In the 20/20 story it was said that it is now "out of vogue" to debate staying at home versus working. That question has been deemed "no longer relevant" and serves as a distraction, according to Ms. Vargas, and has hindered the progress that could be made towards making life easier for working moms. Carol Evans, CEO of Working Mother Magazine, says that "We are way beyond that argument" simply because 71% of all mothers in the U.S. work. (In fact, data supports the trend of more and more mothers making the choice to stay at home. Census bureau statistics show a 15% increase in the number of stay-at-home moms in less than 10 years.)
However, as evidenced in this new Oprah show, the debate is still on, so apparently Ms. Evans was wrong. Of the people who took Oprah's online poll, 66% of working mothers said that they would stay at home if they could while just 36% of stay at home moms wish they worked. 91% of working moms say that they work for financial reasons, and more than half of the working mothers feel that they are failing either at home or at work.
Whatever decision is made, it affects the whole family, including fathers living in the home. I am getting weary of the media attention being focused solely on the the women. Not only is it a decision that should be made as a family, but the fathers can offer a great deal of support and have something to offer to the discussion, but they seem to be overlooked in these types of news stories and shows. Apparently, it's all about the women.
On Oprah, Elizabeth Vargas mentioned that she had received a letter from N.O.W. in protest of her decision to pull back from her career to devote more time to her family, and I thought that she made a very good point about it. Like Deanna said, feminism should be about CHOICES (after all, isn't that what the abortion debate is all about?) but radical feminism is about ONE choice that is deemed the only right one. If you make the "wrong" choice, then you are betraying the sisterhood. At least Oprah showed respect to Ms. Vargas for her decision.
The one thing that feminism will never be able to stop is the driving nature of motherhood. Ms. Vargas said that she feels guilt every day that her children will not be as well off as those with mothers who don't work. However, after going through all the talk about guilt, she then says, "I know I've made the right decision for my family." How can she be so confident and still be so wracked with guilt? I don't think she can have it both ways.
Having BTDT I can only say that she should listen to her conscience. Although feminism would dictate that we ignore it, it's there for a reason.
She also says that she is aware that (even though she no longer anchors for ABC but only works on 20/20) she misses 98% of her childrens' day because she has been at work. Then the next thing I know she says, "I think the time I spend with my children is what makes me a good mother." So, the remaining 2% sliver of her time that she manages to squeeze out of her busy life to spend with her kids makes her a good mother? I honestly just don't understand it. If her situation were reversed could she say that about her job with ABC?
In fact, it seemed to me that Oprah was more concerned about what Ms. Vargas had to give up careerwise and how difficult the decision was to make. Oprah asked, "Was part of the difficulty in making the decision because, if you are a newsperson, if you are "in the business" of media (and the network anchor job for the 6PM news is the most coveted job in television) was there a part of you thinking what you were giving up and how long and how hard you had to work to get to that position?"
Perhaps she was trying to make an example of her, as if to say, "If she can make this unbelievably huge sacrifice to spend more time with her family, so can you." Although she never made that point, I hope that was what she meant to illustrate.
The women in the show were interesting. Jallon, the principal, has more patience with 120 other (possibly unruly) kids than she does with her own 2 toddlers. Lisa would sell her house before she would go back to work. Christian said that she did not get enough satisfaction out of being a mother. Whitney encouraged working parents to find a way to bring either parent home for the children.
And Barbara (oh, boy) said that you have to separate yourself from your kids. In an effort to argue that the teen years are more important than the young years, she said, "Anybody can read a book to your kid or cuddle with your kid, but not anybody can ask your kid how the soccer game went, or be there to cheer them on at the game."
Ugh. Lisa referred to the foundation that is laid when they are young and it is best formed with their own mother. I feel that it is that foundation which forms the bond that the child carries into the teen years. In fact Oprah validated that point later in the show. She said that it's really about the level of commitment you have to your children. "I have been doing these shows for years, and when the kids go astray it's because of the lack of connection, and the lack of connection doesn't start with teenagers... It's not a teenage thing...it's when they're 3 or 2."
Dr. Robin Smith said, "The other issue for me is what tapes we have playing in our heads from parents, grandparents, mothers. 'My mother never accomplished what she wanted, so I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen to me,' or 'My mother stayed home and rocked me and read to me.' That's fine, but you don't want that to be the defining statement that writes your own script. This is your life. "
I agree to a certain extent. I think that what Dr. Robin is probably saying is that we shouldn't feel that we are required to base our decisions on those of our parents or grandparents. You have the right to take control of your life and make it what you want it to be.
However, isn't it the job of the parents and grandparents to teach and pass down what they have learned and what they feel is best? Don't we mostly learn from our parent's example and then make our own decisions anyway? I stay at home because that's what my mom did. I chose to follow her example because I think it is a good one. I liked having her there every day and I felt secure knowing that she would be there, and I honestly believe that it is what is best for a child.
Then Dr. Robin said something that I totally agree with. "Having it all is an illusion, a fantasy" and Oprah followed up with, "You can have it all, you just can't have it all at the same time."
Dr. Robin also made a good point that, whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, the goal is to be in tune with yourself. I would like to adjust that and say that you should be in tune with your family. You could be a stay at home mom and be totally checked out as a mom, or you could be a working mom and your mind could be constantly on your work. Whichever choice you made, if you are not attentive to your family, you are doing them a disservice.
As the ladies were sitting in a room talking, Whitney said something very profound, which many women have actually succeeded in doing.
Motherhood as a Profession.
"It is thinking, 'What do I hope to achieve?' You have goals, deadlines, objectives, a purpose when you are at work. Can you not bring that same skill set, that same drive, to your child for a few years and make that a profession?"
wow.
While the point was made that it's not just a few years, it's for life, I think that what Whitney was simply trying to say was that it's okay to give up the career for a while and go back to it later, but we'll never be able to go back to the years our children are young.
The last part dealt with regrets and guilt. Peggy, who worked, regrets not being there and being a part of the important events in her children's development, while her daughter said she felt very loved and secure as a child. Dr. Robin said that's because she was engaged with her children. Robin profoundly said that the guilt is to teach, not torture, and that it is important not to project those feelings onto our children.
Lynne, who stayed at home, says she regrets not doing more for herself. I think it's sad that Oprah didn't deal with her at all on the show (tho she probably did after the taping- Oprah After the Show only airs on Saturdays now at 2 PM on Oxygen) but I personally do not feel that just because a mother stays at home that she can't take time out for herself and do things she enjoys, and when the kids are grown, it is perfectly okay to want that time for you to fulfill your goals. In fact, once the kids are in school full time, a mom can do whatever she wants between 8AM and 4PM.
So that's my take on the show. Many good points were made, and Oprah led a great discussion. But one thing I noticed is that the working moms were still so defensive. Just because this subject comes up repeatedly doesn't mean that working moms must feel that they should defend themselves for the choices that they make. Most of us on this board have chosen to say at home because we know that if we tried to work and take care of a family we would suck at both. The reality is that many moms all over the country are coming to the same realization and are taking another look at their choices.
I say whatever works for the family.With Katie I had so much anxiety about having to go back to work that I didn't go back to my pre-pregnancy job.I worked from home during the week and did some shift work on the week-ends.I NEEDED to stay home and raise her.I felt complete and happy doing that.With the boys I NEEDED to go back for a couple of days a week.I had to find a balance in my life.You can't measure being a good parent by working or staying at home.It's what we give our kids everyday that counts.My happiness has a huge impact on my family.I look forward to my time at work and I love coming home and appreciating what I have and knowing how lucky I am.I have the best of both worlds.
Interesting info from the show Cocoabutter, which I did not see.
I have found the working mother defensiveness to be true in MY experience. My working mom friends are CONSTANTLY telling me what them working is doing for the family, and it's ALWAYS (in my experience remember) benefitting the family with the extras. I saw one friend recently that I rarely see who in 3 bombarded me with all the things they are buying with her continued second income...10 acres, building a new house,...I couldn't even speak! What was going through my head was..."I hope the 10 acres, and the house, and the clothes, and the cars make you happy, but *I'M* happy in my (relative to her) 70's ranch and my carpet in need of replacement and my 5 year old car, because I'm not missing a thing and *I'M the one influencing my child everyday and not someone else." The defensiveness is prevalent with working moms IMO. I feel good that I don't have to defend my choice to stay home, and I personally feel that if THEY feel good about their decisions to work, then they wouldn't have to defend it within 1 minute of starting a conversation.
I don't give much credit to women without children talking to women with children about choices of staying home or working. They just simply don't know what it's like to be a mother or the feelings that drive your decisions either way. I know how I felt about staying home BEFORE I became a mother and it was 1000% different than now. Only becoming a mother can give you perspective on that, so Oprah is clueless IMO. I don't care much for her anyway but that's beside the point.
I think this is a very interesting debate. Ultimately (and hopefully) people are doing what's best for their families and that's what really matters. We feel that a parent being home in the early years is so important to a good foundation. We just increased our life insurance a few months ago so that if God forbid something were to happen to one of us, there would be enough for either me to continue to stay home or for DH to quit his job and stay home or at the very least cut down to half-time. (He would love to be a stay-at-home dad. He's got some mothering instinct that's incredible.) It's just a personal choice.
Deanna, I don't normally watch Oprah. She usually annoys me because she too chatty. When she has a celebrity guest on, she does more talking than they do. I know it's her show and she can do what she wants with it, but it's like, ask the question and let the guest do the talking, will you?
So I am not an Oprah fanatic, but occasionally I happen upon her After the Show when channel flipping, and it's a more open and relaxed discussion than what you see during the regular one hour show.
I understand what you are saying about someone without kids giving advice to someone with kids, which may be why she had Dr. Robin Smith on the show to dole out the advice. Oprah was just there to lead the discussion.
I watched that Oprah show, it was quite interesting. I'm a SAHM. I don't have a career to fall back on. Of course I wish that I would have finished college so I could have that degree "just in case". But I didn't. I would like to finish it in the future, once my kids are a little older and more independent.
I love being a SAHM, and my hope is that I can do it forever. I love it. I love being here when my kids are sick and need me. I love being available to go to their activities. I'm so grateful for my husbands job and income which supports our lifestyle.
I feel like I have it all as a SAHM.
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