Ok, I felt this topic would be better over here. Anybody see Montel yesterday. He had 3 dift families on with differently parenting that seems "Unappropriate" to others etc.. One lady said she breastfed her son until he was 6 yrs old. Ok, is it me, but I think there is something VERY WRONG with that. I breastfed my 2nd child for 14 months. I am not against breastfeeding. The lady was saying that its just a comfort thing at that age. But I think if a 6yr has to be comforted at the breast then there is something wrong.

By Feonad on Wednesday, June 5, 2002 - 08:33 am:

I knew someone who had a 2 1/2 year old girl and a seven year old boy. The boy was still taking some breast milk. The woman was very much a earth mother type. She taught mommy and me and was very nice and religious. Looked like a very nice family.

The kids looked healthy, but I think it was too long for the boy....

By Sunny on Wednesday, June 5, 2002 - 08:53 am:

I didn't see the show. I did breastfeed all my kids until they were around 15-16 months old.

IMHO, 6 years old is too old to still be breastfeeding, however infrequent it may be. I didn't see the show so I can't comment on what the parent's said, but if the mom is allowing the child to nurse at that age, I would consider it potential abuse. I think there should be a cut off, for me it was before they were 18 months, I know for some families it's older, but I start to question a parent's decision to continue nursing past 4 yrs old. My personal feeling is, after 3 years old, a child is very aware of the differences in their body and the adult body. In our society, the breast is viewed in sexual terms first, and 'Oh yeah, it also functions as a food source for babies', second. I wonder how it affects the child's emotional development to still be breastfeeding at that age. I had the hardest time weaning my first two kids, but I knew they didn't really need it anymore, I did. I missed the closeness and one on one time I got with them while nursing, but it was short-lived. Who is being comforted more at 6 yrs old, the mom or child?

By Kim on Wednesday, June 5, 2002 - 11:01 am:

In some cultures that is not uncommon, so I would question her background, etc, but I am not agreeing with it. My friend Marie did unti 4, not for me for sure, maybe I would have until 2 if I could hvae at all. I think there are more factors than people are open to looking at thouhgh.

By Laurazee on Wednesday, June 5, 2002 - 11:22 am:

I caught the tail end of it. The three issues were:

1. Extended breastfeeding
2. Co-sleeping/family bed
3. Breathalyzer testing (on a 20yo daughter).

Dunno--I felt bad for the families who supported the issues, as Montel was a leeeetle sarcastic towards them. They sat there with frozen, uncomfortable smiles and weak defenses as the various experts and audience members raised eyebrows and shook their heads at them.

I have a hard time forming an opinion on the issues because my DS is 16 months so I'm not an expert on what 3, 4, 5, 6 year olds are like and what would be best for them. My son still seems like a baby to me. And who am I to say what's right for any child but my own?

Having said that, though...I was relieved when we moved him to his crib (about 3-4 months old), though I was kind of sad about it at first.

I'll probably be relieved when I stop breastfeeding in a month or so (I'm still breastfeeding maybe once a day, which I'll cheerfully admit is probably more for me than DS). No doubt I'll be sad about that, too.

But an occasional breathalyzer seems like a good idea--especially when I remember what my adolescence was like! And *ESPECIALLY* once DS starts driving.

By Tunnia on Wednesday, June 5, 2002 - 11:59 am:

I didn't see the show, but I think breastfeeding a 6yo is a bit over the top. I breastfed both my children (dd until 10 months, and ds until 13 months) and while I must admit that I sometimes miss the closeness that nursing gave us, I have found that I can hold, hug, kiss, and cuddle with my children and get pretty much the same sense of closeness. I don't see the benefit (to the child) of breastfeeding for such an extended period of time. IMHO if a child is too old for a bottle, it is too old for a breast. Would the mother still give her 6yo a bottle of formula instead of a cup of milk had she chosen to bottlefeed instead? I highly doubt it.

By Loving2 on Wednesday, June 5, 2002 - 03:05 pm:

Oh, oh, my favorite topics! Family Bed & extended (self-led weaning) breastfeeding I'm for both, do both (but haven't had the opportunity to bf till age 6); just thought I'd put in a pro opinion here (pro as in For). And that so-called expert on the show that said co-sleeping was wrong because 2 yo's get erections is some kind of a real pervert. Cripes, 2wk olds get erections. Wish I could say more, but I don't have the time.

By Kim on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 12:58 am:

I agree Susan, also co sleep, did with three of the four and hgave to now because of limited space anway! that IS stupid!

By Melanie on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 01:50 pm:

I cannot imagine breastfeeding my six year old. I think that if a child is old enough to ride a bike, read, cross the monkey bars, etc. he's old enough to have an appropriate way to comfort himself. I just can't be open to a child that old breastfeeding.

I live in an area where there are some very, as Feona said, Earth mother types. One had a four year old she was still breastfeeding. We had our kids enrolled in a music class together. When all the other kids got thirsty, they ran over and got a drink from the water fountain. Her daughter ran over and lifted up her mom's shirt. I found it incredibly inappropriate.

That same family a short time later had a "weening party" for the little girl. They invited people over and asked them to share their own memories of when they were weened. And the invitation said they would be serving "breast shaped cupcakes". I kid you not.

By Sunny on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 01:59 pm:

Melanie, I guess I shouldn't laugh, but for some reason I find the idea of breast-shaped cakes really funny. You wouldn't happen to have a picture, would you?

By Loving2 on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 03:17 pm:

LOL, that is a funny story Mel. I know a lot of people have weaning celebrations (but they're usually for family), but I have never heard of serving breast shaped cupcakes

By Laurazee on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 03:22 pm:

Wonder what they'd serve at a bris? . Just kidding! I've never even heard of a weaning celebration!

By Melanie on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 03:55 pm:

LOL. I didn't go, but, believe me, I got a good giggle over the thought of the cupcakes, too! Not only were these to be served, but they were highlighted in the invitation!!! LOL.

By Sunny on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 04:02 pm:

Hey Laura, have you ever heard of Scribblers? It's a crayon shaped popsicle, but whenever I see it, it reminds me of something else.

By Laurazee on Thursday, June 6, 2002 - 05:35 pm:

Yes, Sunny, those popsicles above would make a good dessert at a bris. And, of course, cocktail weenies as an appetizer. Perhaps some Sausages n' Beets (for color) for the main course.

Ugh. I think I just grossed myself out.

By Teresam on Saturday, June 8, 2002 - 12:13 am:

I didn't see it and probably would have gotten mad. Everyone parents their children differently and it is their choice. I breasfed my dd until she was almost 2. She weaned a week before her birthday. She likes to sleep with us once and a while but through the first year, that was where she slept. She slept better and that made for an all around happier family.

I would give my daughter a breathilyzer if she was living in my home and was behaving in a way that warranted it. I hope I don't but I don't see anything wrong with that either.

I do like Montel sometimes but other times his experts are a little out there. Oh well, to each his own I guess.

By Annie2 on Saturday, June 8, 2002 - 12:53 am:

My son is laying in my bed watching a movie. He turned five last week.
Yesterday we took his training wheels off. He hasn't been off his bike more than a few minutes in 36 hours except to eat, drink and sleep. And of course sneak popsicles for him and his friends.
I say, if he can make his own peanut butter sandwich, grab an apple and pour himself a cup of skim milk from the refrigerator, he doesn't need to suckle my breast for comfort; definitely not for nutrition.
If "I" need him to suckle at my breast for comfort and bonding issues; Then "I" have a problem.
JMHO Again!

By Mommyof4 on Saturday, June 8, 2002 - 12:03 pm:

Sunny,

Funny you mentioned those scribblers I was just discussing them with dh last night. Everytime I open one of them I am reminded of something else also!

By Alanal on Thursday, June 27, 2002 - 08:35 pm:

I breastfed my 2nd child for 9 months. I am still breastfeeding my 3rd child and he turned 2 in March. I am more than ready to stop nursing, but being a single parent I have turned into my sons "comfort". He nurses totally for reasons other than food. Yes, I am letting it continue, but I am slowly starting to restrict him. It is hard to say no to nursing and stick to it when there is no one around to help distract him. I am already a bit uncomfortable with him nursing since he is turning into more of a "kid" every day rather than a "baby". When he stops nursing on the right breast and looks at me and says "I want that one" and points to the left breast I sigh and shake my head and say...these boobies are gonna have to go bye bye very soon. Kinda gives me the creeps I can have a "boobie" discussion with my son. So, my answer is no, I don't agree with nursing a 6 yo.

As far as co-sleeping....I think it is a personal decision. Some families are against it, some think it is a great bonding tool. I see pros and cons of the situation, but nothing tells me it is harmful to the childs development or well being in any way. My girls never slept with me and my son still does (again, I became a single parent while pregnant with him so my usual parenting style went out the window when I had him). My son will go to sleep at a family members house without me there with no problem, but when we are home he plans on sleeping with me. Not a big issue for me since I am not involved with anyone so it works for me for now.

By Mechelle on Thursday, August 8, 2002 - 12:59 am:

I don't see nothing wrong at all breastfeeding. But MG! 6 years old??? There is DEFINATLEY SOMETHING wrong with THAT PICTURE!! Could you imagine what that would do to his mind??? Well I didnt see the show but I am imagining "breast fed" Tell his friends "be back gotta get a drink....bm...shakin head wow thats a little too old I believe....


Laughs @ Sunny..........looks tasty hu? giggles!!

By Kim on Thursday, August 8, 2002 - 09:21 am:

Still think this topic should be looked at from a CULTURAL point of view also. Some cultures view this as totally normal, even American Indians who have limited resources. Kids in K still come home from school to BF. All depends on the family history I guess. I try not to judge. Wouldn't do the BF for ME. But still co sleep.

By Missbookworm on Thursday, August 8, 2002 - 11:06 am:

I think (and this is just my humble opinion) that the only reason people have a problem with this or feel uncomfortable with it is because it goes against the norm. If EVERYONE did it it would all of a sudden be ok right?

Someone mentioned the publics focus on a womans breasts in a sexual manner and yeah I think that causes some major problems when it comes down to what is or is not good for our kids.

I don't know if breastfeeding for that long of a time is a good thing but do we know if it's bad. As for the using the breast for comfort isn't comfort comfort? Who cares how they get it. (this is jmho on the topic)

By Feona on Friday, August 9, 2002 - 09:49 am:

I think in developing countries, mommies breastfeed until five years old.

From http://www.compleatmother.com/poems.htm

Nursing a Toddler
by Janis Chrissikos

Sticky little chubby hands pull my shirt,
clearly it’s time to nurse.

Now I have blue yogurt on my white bra,
I know it could be worse!

She’s too busy for cuddles and kisses,
we nurse to keep us in touch.

She wants to be big like her big sister,
sometimes its just too much.

So up on Mama’s lap she climbs again,
for comfort and a snack.

I hold her close, sweet and soft as she rests,
glad my baby is back.

I watch as she acts so independent,
but nursing reminds me.

Not to hurry her to grow up too fast,
for time will still find me.

Friends try not to act surprised but all say,
“When will she ever wean?”

I smile, “Well, I guess when she has classes,
she can nurse in between!”

By Annie2 on Friday, August 9, 2002 - 04:44 pm:

In many developing countries, the infant mortality rate is so high, many children die before their sixth birthday. In these same countries, breastmilk is their only source for nutrition; never mind comfort.
I feel if a six year old in the states, in "American" culture can go to a movie, eat pop tarts, cereal, McDonald's, watch cartoon network, etc. the child is not using the breast for nutrition. In this country we have are fortunate to have access to public assistance so "our" children can get healthy food.
I think people find breastfeeding a six year old is a disconcerting idea because it is against the norm. I also feel it is against the norm because the majority of people know this type of habit is not in the best interest of a child.

By Kim on Tuesday, August 13, 2002 - 01:11 pm:

Yes, Annie, but I know for a fact that Indians on many reservations do not have the resources for their children to be taken care of. I have a very close friend who goes out every year to the same ones and she has seen it ALL. So I think there are some places here, and there is poverty here also. I am just saying there are other circumstances. Still not for me.

By Annie2 on Friday, August 16, 2002 - 04:20 pm:

Kim, do you know if Indians on reservations are able to get public aid? Are they considered American citizens and able to vote? Just curious. I don't know much about them.
I know this is off of the initial conversation, sorry.