Smoking topic
Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): Smoking topic
I normally do not post over here. I do believe every adult as the right to smoke if they want to. DO you think its right for parents to smoke around their children, or other children knowing the harm it can bring with the 2nd hand smoke?
Of course I have always been a non smoker.
This topic came to me because of a friend of mine. She has a daughter who is 6, and is good friends with my daughter. My friends daughter has had Asthma all of her life, and its VERY bad asthma. Her mother(My friend)chains smokes. Only up until 6 months ago or so, the parents were both smoking in the house.So for almost 5 1/2 yrs of her life, they chained smoked around her, and in their car. 6 months ago, only then she decided to stop smoking in the house looking at how bad her daughter was. Maybe me being a non smoker, I just do not get it. This is not a debate about whether people should smoke or not, but whether they should smoke in front of their kids?
In Virginia where I live, smoking is still allowed at many restaurants in the area. We have one place here called "Golden Corral", its a big buffet style restaurant. Anyways, they have a Huge smoking section. It breaks my heart to see all the kids in that section eating their dinner with this big smoke cloud about their heads.
Do you think this is fair to the kids?
I don't think it's fair to ANYONE personally. Kids are just part of the group. Second-hand smoke is dangerous and when people smoke around you (without your permission)they are putting you at risk in a way that's out of your control.
I grew up in a smoking household (DH did, too). We are both non-smokers and no one smokes in our home or in our cars. That's just the rule here and if a smoker doesn't like it, then they don't have to visit our home. I have ashtrays outside for anyone who wishes to smoke there.
I think all public smoking should be banned. JMHO. Lots of people don't agree and that's okay. If there's only a smoking section available at my favorite restaurant, then we don't stay and we go somewhere else. Just the way we feel!!
I don't think it's good for kids to be around second-hand smoke. When I zip jackets at school, for LUNCH recess, some of their jackets just wreak of smoke, and they have been at school for 3-1/2 hours already. I feel sorry for their lungs.
DH's dad smoked a pipe for many years. Gary has had trouble with asthma throughout his life. Apparently, Ralph didn't see the need to put out his pipe, even when DH was struggling for air. I just don't get that! Fortunately, when Sarah was about a year old, Ralph quit smoking. So, what is with people not caring if their kids can breathe?
My dad smoked a pipe for some of my childhood. We're talking smoking a pipe while all 5 of us were in the car. My sisters and I hated it! Fortunately, he quit too and never looked back. REally, how rude was that to subject us all to the pipe smoke, when we were all stuck in the car, with nowhere to go.
My kids haven't had to endure this, since Gary and I don't smoke and we don't allow anyone to smoke in our house, or in our cars.
Banned public smoking wouldn't bother me at all. What is the point of a no-smoking section, when it butts right up against the smoking section. You can smell the cigarettes anyway! Ugh.
When you know that your smoking is harming your child, I consider that child abuse. JMO, but it is the way I feel. There is to much information out there informing people of the harm that second hand smoke does to people & I would think as a parent your childs health would come before lighting up.
I am a nonsmoker now, but smoked for 10 years, I gave it up for my children & I am proud of that fact.
My ds had reflux really bad as a baby & even 3rd hand smoke caused it to be worse. I hate taking my kids over to my inlaws house because even though they don't smoke while we are there we still come home smelling like it.
I don't think you'll find any of us that disagree with you, Jackie. My dh is a smoker (I hate it!) but he only smokes outside, never around the kids, never in the car (whether the kids and I are in it or not) and washes his hands immediately after, every time. When the kids were younger and he was holding them a lot, he would even change his shirt every time. I'm so thankful that he realizes the danger he puts the kids in and, even though he hasn't quit yet, he's doing all he can to minimize the danger and exposure to us. Luckily, none of our kids have had any trouble with asthma or any other related problems, even though asthma and allergies run in our families. I have to think that some of the precautions he takes are the reason for that.
I think choosing to smoke around your children is selfish and irresponsible. You are choosing to put your child at risk for your own convenience. Instead of waiting until you can smoke in an unoccupied area, you light up and expose your child (and everyone else around) to secondhand smoke. In California, it is illegal to smoke in any public building and it always surprises me to read that it is still allowed in most other states. I can't tell you the last time I saw someone smoking in a restuarant or even a bar.
Ditto the others...well said! Tink, that's great that you have a DH who is responsible with his smoking around the kids. I wish my parents had been like that. I had mega ear infections growing up and multiple doctors have told me that the smoke was a major cause.
Well,
I grew up with second hand smoke and I still get on my mom for it!
If I did smoke, I wouldn't smoke around my children. Come to think of it, I don't have any friends that smoke. Most quit in highschool. My husband and I always joke that if we moved away from California we would have to put up with restarants that still allow smoking! I guess we are quite lucky to have a non smoking policy in all establishments here.
You know Deanna, I had a friend that when her dd got ear infections would blow smoke in her ear. She was told that would help clear it up. I NEVER understtod that!
Emily - OMG about your friend!
Emily, I was specifically told how cigarette smoke is so bad for ear infections. The nicotine (or one of a hundred other chemicals in cigarette smoke) actually paralyzes the cilli (small hair in the ear canal) so that they don't move dust, irritants and bacteria away from the inner ear and those things cause an ear infection. My youngest did get frequent ear infections for almost a year but, with all the ear problems DH and I have, it really surprised us that the other children never had trouble. It makes me so sad to hear that about your friend.
My husband and I always joke that if we moved away from California we would have to put up with restarants that still allow smoking! I guess we are quite lucky to have a non smoking policy in all establishments here.
Milwaukee is trying to get a smoking ban here, but they just tabled the issue. It is a hot topic. It must be so nice to be able to go ANY restaurant and not have to endure cigarette smoke!
Article about Smoking Ban
I knew that what she was told wasn't accurate, she was just not the kind of person that would listen. I guess that is one of the reasons we aren't friends anymore.
Tink - thanks for the explanation. I never got details from doctors, just a mention that it was likely my problem as a child.
Even at 31, when I'm at my parents or a friend's house for like half a day or more(who also smokes in the house constantly), usually one ear will hurt for the rest of the day.
Although I agree that it people shouldn't smoke in front of their kids, I guess it is one of those parenting decisions people make. Is it better to smoke in front of the baby, or put the baby in a playpen for 30 minutes, while you step outside to have a smoke? Smoking is an addiction it is NOT easy to quit. I smoked for two years, when I was 19 and 20, smoked about a pack a day and made the decision I was not going to live like that anymore. I am almost 35 and STILL crave a cigarette
We still have smoking restruants in texas, some are so bad. My son has asthma and we have to be careful where we sit often times, because smoke is a trigger for him.
It is dangerous, it puts kids at a high risk of lung cancer (think about dana reeves). But I also see kids riding without carseats, children not dressed properly, children at movies they shouldn't be at, all have their risks and some can also be a death sentence.
I will add that smoking is a huge trigger for one of my children, but pet hair is worse. I cannot let the dog go into his room or let the cat hang out in there. We keep an air purifier in his room to help combat the dust and other stuff. So although I don't smoke around him, I do other things like own pets and not clean near enough that keep him in "harms way" too.
"Is it better to smoke in front of the baby, or put the baby in a playpen for 30 minutes, while you step outside to have a smoke?"
It's definitely better to put the baby in a playpen. Hands down.
We are non-smokers. My daughter has a friend whos parents smoke. I always cringe when the poor little girl comes over because when she leaves, the house just wreaks of smoke. It takes the rest of the day for it to clear out.
I know what you mean Breann. My parents come over for 20 min. and it lingers in the air here. Everything about their physical bodies REEKS of smoke. I can't believe I smelled that way for 22 years and never knew it until I got out!
I also agree with Breann that a playpen for 30min. is better hands down.
Kaye, I agree that everyone makes their own parenting decision and of course we don't agree, but second-hand smoke is a serious health risk. Health should be above ALL other considerations IMO. With regard to your example about your pets, cleanliness and your son's asthma - pets are a wonderful addition to your household and to your son's life. Sure, no one's house is clean enough if we get right down to it, but I bet you wouldn't let your house get so overcome with pet hair that your son needed medical attention, would you?
I haven't ever been addicted to cigarettes, so I'm not going to try to say I know what that feels like. I'm sure it's a terrible addiction, but just like in every area of my life, once my child is born I have to do what is right for him/her and that may take hard decisions and a lot of work. (i.e., quitting smoking for health reasons)
As a child of smokers, I also have always thought that my parents should be a tad more concerned that by smoking, they are shortening their lives for their children's sake. Children (no matter how old they are) want their parents alive. I can't tell you how much I've worried about my parents over the years because I was afraid I was going to lose them to lung cancer. Let me tell you, once kids learn in school about second-hand smoke, they start worrying about losing their parents, g'parents, etc. I can't tell you how many kids have come to me (over the years I taught) bawling because they were afraid their parents were going to die from smoking.
I just think, as always, that there is a lot to consider once your child is born. I think by choosing NOT to smoke around your kids you're saying that you understand the effects of second-hand smoke and you refuse to subject your children to it.
I just think, as always, that there is a lot to consider once your child is born. I think by choosing NOT to smoke around your kids you're saying that you understand the effects of second-hand smoke and you refuse to subject your children to it.
I think by chosing not to have pets you are saying you understand the effects of an unclean house can have on respiratory issues and you refuse to chance it with your child.
I think by chosing NOT to eat processed foods you're saying that you understand the risks associated with a linked to all the crap in our food and the rates of obesity and you refuse to subject your child to a lifetime of obesity because of it.
There is a lot of consider when having a child. All in all we can't do it all. My point, we ALL make bad parenting choices, not a single one of us is perfect, maybe we should quit throwing stones and accept that most parents are doing the best they can with the knowledge and issues they have.
I agree Kaye that we ALL make bad choices, especially in the little things day-to-day. But smoking around your kids is a long-term, daily, conscious decision to put your child in an unhealthy situation that can ultimately kill them with cancer.
That's just the way I see it and why it's different to me than eating processed food (which I have no idea it's effects on health, and eating processed does not equal obesity) and why if my child had serious respiratory issues where pet hair was a major problem, then we would have to get rid of our dogs because again, her health comes first.
EVERYONE has the knowledge about the side effects of smoking on your health and those around you. If you're smoking around your child, you're not doing the "best you can" IMO. If you smoke around your children you're being irresponsible and putting them at risk. I don't think I could every say it's anything less than irresponsible.
I guess this is just one issue where I won't budge!!
Smoking is a touchy subject for me. I'm an X-smoker, and I only have a very few friends who still smoke.
My DH was *supposed* to stop smoking after his heart attack 6 years ago. We are still on the smoking/not smoking/lying about not smoking when he is really smoking bandwagon. It's very upsetting to me.
My mom died last year from lung cancer - from being a life long smoker.
My uncle died 2 weeks ago from emphysema - from being a life long smoker.
I get really emotional about the whole smoking topic. I've seen people kick drugs and alcohol easier than they've quit smoking.
If I had *my* way, tobacco would disappear from the earth. I can't bear to lose another loved one to the ravages of smoking, and I am terrified every day that my DH will have another heart attack or develop lung cancer. And the worst thing is, there is *nothing* I can do about the entire situation, because he is making the choice NOT to stop smoking, even though he knows my feelings about this subject VERY well.
Karen, I can come close to understanding. All four of my grandparents died from lung cancer due to lifelong smoking habits. I've seen both of my aunts pick up and drop the habit too many times to count. I've seen my mom quit for twenty years and recently become a social smoker. My sister is a social smoker, my brother has a pack-a-day habit, my cousin chain smokes around her two dks (both of which have asthma). My dh went through a very tough drug addiction before we were married and was in an in-home treatment facility for 18 months before we met to treat his addiction to meth. He has never been able to stop smoking for more than a few weeks. He's tried medication, the patch, the lozenge and group therapy. I simply can NOT comprehend the hold cigarettes has over him. He has cried in my arms because he is so upset about not being able to conquer it. I think that is the biggest reason he does everything he can to minimize the risks to our children.
Kaye, I almost always agree with you but I think there is a huge difference between choosing to minimize the risk of having a pet around an allergic child or feeding processed foods to a child who *might* become obese (due to any numbers of factors) and smoking around your children, day after day. When I look at the filter of a cigarette butt and imagine that stain inside my child's body, building up over time, the extra salt from an occasional boxed dinner or the animal dander that is could trigger an asthma attack doesn't even begin to compare. And, for the record, if any of my dks had a respiratory issue, we'd find homes for our pets because, as much as we love them, my child's health comes before everything else.
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