R rated movies
Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): R rated movies
We rarely go to movies, however, this weekend dh wanted to see two movies.
Underworld and End of a Spear.
I also wanted to see the latter of the two.
I have seen the first Underworld, I do not know what it is called. All I know is it vampires vs. werewolves.
Going into this movie late yesterday afternoon, I really did not know what it was rated. I assumed pg13 or R.
It was pretty full for a 4:45 show and a lot, I stress a lot of children under the age of 12. More of them between 5-10.
Dh liked the first movie so I agree to go with him to see this one. I truly didn't get it until the end.
Extremely violent, though I do like a good horror movie, this was not in that placement. Once again, we really didn't realize it was R until, guess what, sex scene. Full nude bodies on top of each other. However, you could not actually see anything (does that make any sense?) I leaned over to dh I said is this an "R", he said I hope so, but look at all the kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
R rated movies seem so different when we were young. We are both 39.
Of course the next nude seen was a woman topless for about 2 minutes.
What do you tell these children that these adults have brought into this theater??
It was extremely violent, in fact, I have never seen anything so violent. Most of the movie was violent.
Dh liked the storyline. I'm not into werewolves, hybrids or vampires, lol.
This just so disturbed me that these parents brought little children into see this movie.
There was a little boy behind us no older than 7!!!
Am I getting old or what?
Personally, I do not like sex scenes in movies or much of any body part shown.
Sorry, I am a modest person.
It drives me nuts to see kids at movies like this. When we went to see the third Matrix, there was a kid that could not be older than four sitting behind us. Of course he didn't get the movie, but there's a lot of violence in that one. He sat there rattling bags full of toys and candy that he'd bought (we were at the mall) the entire time. You could tell he was bored to death, and at one point, he saw something that scared him, and that set him off.
I really think they put so much nonsense in movies that just doesn't need to be there. Personally, I am just about sick of having to stare at numerous women's breasts during every movie I watch, when it isn't even necessary. They just throw it in there. Not that I am big on nudity in movies, but how often to we get to see a man's butt even? I am waiting for Disney cartoon princesses to start going topless for at least one scene.
I really think they need to start abiding by the ratings and quit letting minors in to some of these awful movies.
And what is going on with these unrated versions now? I mean, come on. We saw Dukes of Hazzard at the Drive-in. Rated version. Then we rented it to watch, and all that was available was the unrated version. The only thing different was that in one scene, they opened a dorm room door and there were a dozen or so topless women playing hackysack!!!! What???!!! Needless to say, I was thoroughly upset. Why do they feel the need to make a whole different unrated movie just to throw this crap in???
I think that over the decades, with everything the media has pushed at us, with sexuality being pushed more and more in all facets of advertising and entertainment, with all of the *stars* exploits being plastered on the cover of every magazine for sale at the checkout line in the grocery store, morals have loosened, and many people have come to consider this *normal*.
NOTE!!!! I am not saying I agree with it! But I've noticed over the past 3 decades how much more nudity, violence and sex have come to be *acceptable*, not only acceptable, but acceptable for CHILDREN to view. It's a statement about people in general, and our society in particular.
I never allowed my kids to watch R rated movies, and I'm sure that much of what was R rated 20 years ago, would be laughable if it were rated R today. But parents have to be held accountable here. It comes down to the fact that the parents of these kids you are seeing at these movies think it's OK. So the final responsibililty lies with them.
What do they tell them??? I have no clue. I am all for being open and honest with kids about sex, etc., but that is not to be confused with sex in movies. IMO, a 5 or 8 or 10 or 12 y/o has no business seeing women parade around topless, or nude/sex scenes in a movie. What is the point of it?? Seriously, what reason is there for them to be exposed to this???? At least the 5 and 8 year olds don't fully understand what's going on, and the 10 and 12 year olds certainly don't need encouragement in that area. It's a tough enough battle to deal with under NORMAL circumstances.
And another thing - kids/teens - ESPECIALLY girls - have enough struggles with body image and self esteem, so adding this to the mix just reinforces in ALL of their minds, that the *perfect* female has D cup size breasts, and a 24" waistline and 36" hips - the typical Barbie doll shape. And it sends the message that they have to look like that to be *desired* and accepted. SO NOT what we want to teach our kids!!!!!
Regarding the violence - we live in a society and a world where there is too much violence. It's hard enough teaching your kids that violence doesn't solve problems, but they are exposed to the murders in metropolitan areas and the various wars we are involved in. Why reinforce THAT by letting them view it all weekly on TV or at movies???
So, forget the fact that the movie industry is constantly pushing the envelope with the content of movies, forget the fact that you're allowed to bring children into R rated movies. The bottom line is, it's the parents' responsibility to be aware of what their child is viewing and to MONITOR it. Sadly, many parents don't care, and many are too lazy and self absorbed to do anything about it. It's easier for them to do what *they* want to do and just drag their kids along for the ride. Poor parenting, if you ask me. When you become a parent, you are responsible for helping mold these innocent creatures into responsible, intelligent, well rounded individuals. If you send them the message that sex and violence is OK under any circumstances - at any age - you can expect confusion, lack of morals and unnecessary curiosity, on top of the normal curiosity we all have to deal with in this area to begin with. Plain and simple - it's not normal and it's not healthy. I want to tell them to get off their lazy butts and start parenting their children.
Sorry, off on a rant here, maybe I should move this thread to the Kitchen Table.
I so agree with you about your whole post Karen.
I started off on one of my 'rants' and erased it.
Why do parents do this? They are CHILDREN
Learning about sex and seeing this in a movie is totally two separate things.
I moved this from General Discussion.
They let children do it because it was done to them? Maybe their parents didn't care and took them to these kind of movies. Perhaps they just can't "afford" tickets and a sitter and they want to see the movie. I don't really know and frankly their excuses would not impress me.
I really have no tolerance for this (not one of the issues I believe has more than one right answer ) Children should not be watching anything violent until they reach a better understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality. When I say anything - I am including Power Rangers and Ninja Turtles. These shows are specifically aimed at children.
Perhaps parents see so much violence on television in children's shows that they have become desensitized to it, so they don't even consider it when it comes to their children?
My son wants to know why he can't watch Power Rangers or Batman (his friends in PRESCHOOL! play this outside at recess). I tell him it's because in those shows people solve their problems by hitting instead of using words and we don't do those things.
There is an innocence in childhood and children should not be disillusioned any sooner than they have to be. I also believe that seeing violent and sexual images causes emotional stress in children. They are experiencing something they are not mentally equipped to deal with. This stress can manifest itself in behavior issues.
So, enough of my rant. If there's a really good reason for taking a kid to an R rated movie, I'd love to hear it. I can't imagine one, other than it was better than leaving the kid alone.
I don't go to the theater, you spend a butt load of money to sit in uncomfortable chairs, eat stale popcorn, and put up with all of the idiots around you. I wait for DVD, the one exception in 3 years being "Walk the Line" on our anniversary last month. Anwyay, I can't imagine taking a kid into an R movie. I don't let our children sit in the room here while we watch an R movie. There is no reason for that, and besides, I don't want to cause them nightmares. What is the point?
My sister is one of those moms who would let and has let her kids watch ANYTHING at ANYTIME, I can't tell you how sad it has made me to know what movies her dd, who is my dd's age, has seen. The innocence lost by making this stuff available to young kids is so unforgivable to me. She thinks her kids can differentiate between life and screen. And let me state, it's her fault, not the movie industries etc, she makes the decisions in her home, Not Hollywood, I am able to limit my kids exposure to a lot of what I feel is "smut" it's not always easy, but it's what we feel is right. If you are 18 and entertained by various movie plots,and it's available you should have access to that. Parents HAVE to be responsible for the "yunguns"
I also have a problem with the pg-13 rating, they allow some pretty racey stuff to be put into those.
BTW, my dd who is 12, is the only one in her "group" that is not allowed to watch R movies, one other parent is "strict" when it comes to which one his dd can see, but will allow some!
I still don't let my kids see "R" movies, and they are 13 and 16. Really, for the most part, they aren't interested anyway.
When The 13yo, was in about 4th grade, some of her classmates were planning a sleepover. She wasn't in their little group of friends, so she wasn't invited and it probably was a good thing. One of the moview they wanted to watch, was Bring It On. It's about cheerleading, but they also move their bodies in very provocative ways. At the time, DH and I had recently watched the movie ourselves, without the kids. I really didn't think it was appropriate for 9yo girls.
My kids have since seen Bring it On, but they were a few years older. They wouldn't have wanted to see Underworld, anyway. They don't like violence or horror movies, just like me! LOL! Oh, I have just marked that one off my list!
I don't understand it either. It seems like many parents are eager for their kids to grow up fast.
Course what other parents do isn't really my concern, but you'll never guess what happened once to my son. He was invited to see Daddy Daycare for a birthday party for a kid turning 8. My son was 8, too. They get to the theater and the host mom had the wrong time so the group saw Bruce Almighty instead. They went from a PG to a PG-13. Course me and the other parents didn't know about it until they got home.
I just don't get that. Why would they think that is okay? Because they let their kid see R rated movies! PG-13 is nothing to them.
Luckily, my son is not much of a movie person and he's not asking to see any movie much less an inappropriate one. Yet, Bruce Almighty is part of his psyche now.
But you know what I think...I really think the nudity and sex scenes are something men create for men to see bec men want to see it bec it turns them on and there's money to be made. I think it's just this side of triple x smut. Just like the huge bra ads in the newspaper. I don't think that has anything to do with selling bras, just like movies' sex scenes and nudity has anything to do with the plot. Men are visual. Naked bodies turn them on and they are willing to pay to see it and they feel less like scum if they are in a mainstream R rated movie than surfing for nekkid bodies on the internet or reading the city's newspaper than buying a Playboy. It's exciting for men and men have money. I think that's what it boils down to.
Dawn, Bring It On, is, IMO, NOT a movie for 9 y/olds to watch. I've seen it, and it IS provocative in some scenes.
They let children do it because it was done to them? Maybe their parents didn't care and took them to these kind of movies. Perhaps they just can't "afford" tickets and a sitter and they want to see the movie. I don't really know and frankly their excuses would not impress me. Ame - good point. Much of our parenting skills we learn are from OUR parents. So I imagine many of these parents are simply doing what they learned. There are exceptions to the rule - for instance, I (and many others, I presume) tried to do the OPPOSITE of what my parents did, because my mom was an alcoholic and had no clue what we were all up to. My dad wasn't around, and was the type that would throw tantrums and say NO, you CAN'T do THAT, and then walk away, no monitoring of the situation. And then there are those who feel their parents were TOO strict, so they over compensate by being too lenient.
There is an innocence in childhood and children should not be disillusioned any sooner than they have to be. I also believe that seeing violent and sexual images causes emotional stress in children. They are experiencing something they are not mentally equipped to deal with. This stress can manifest itself in behavior issues.
So, enough of my rant. If there's a really good reason for taking a kid to an R rated movie, I'd love to hear it. I can't imagine one, other than it was better than leaving the kid alone.
I SO agree with that!
I don't let our children sit in the room here while we watch an R movie. Crystal, I never did either.
The innocence lost by making this stuff available to young kids is so unforgivable to me. She thinks her kids can differentiate between life and screen. And let me state, it's her fault, not the movie industries etc, she makes the decisions in her home, Not Hollywood, I am able to limit my kids exposure to a lot of what I feel is "smut" it's not always easy, but it's what we feel is right. Kym, I am right there with you on this!
It seems like many parents are eager for their kids to grow up fast. Mommmie, I agree with that statement too. really think the nudity and sex scenes are something men create for men to see bec men want to see it bec it turns them on and there's money to be made. But it's NOT just men!!! Women have their place in the writing/production/financial end of these things too.
When the movie Show Girls came out in 1995, with Elizabeth Berkley, Jeff was literally BEGGING me to see it. He was 12 at the time, and furious with me because I wouldn't allow it. When Strip Tease with Demi Moore came out the following year, again, he wanted to see that too. And again was furious that I wouldn't allow it. Don't get me wrong, at 13, he know all about the birds and the bees, and was having normal teenage boy urges and interests. But watching those movies was NOT OK, IMO. I remember him telling me very flippantly he *would just watch it at so-and-so's* house. Well guess what? Any time my kids went over to a friend's house, especially for a sleepover, I ALWAYS asked the moms if they were renting videos, and which ones they were. I was fortunate, most of the moms had the same beliefs and views I did, though we did have an issue with one family, who thought it was OK for the kids to watch any darn thing they wanted. So my kids got to stay home and not visit in their house.
So, back to the same bottom line - the stuff is always going to be out there, is getting worse, and it's up to all of us as parents and grandparents to monitor what they watch and even video games they play. They grow up soon enough and can make their own choices then.
I guess I should say I am not against the parents making a decision based on the child. I was allowed to watch certain movies rated above my age, only if my parents had seen them and felt I was able to handle the content. I was also mature for my age, and could often comprehend and discuss things with adults in my early teens. So, *IF* I felt something was ok for my kids, and I had pre-screened it, I might let the age limit slide, on a case-by-case. However, not in the theater, not a young child, and most certainly not without my presence. A young child in a gory horror movie with sex scenes is unacceptable.
Crystal, I agree with you. I should clarify - I said earlier I never let my kids watch R rated movies - I never let them watch R rated movies when they were under age 10. I know I let them watch R rated movies at some age under 17, but only ones I had seen, and only ones that I considered appropriate for them. I think most of my posts are referring to younger kids, as Marg posted about in her original post.
However, even at 12 and 13, I wouldn't let Jeff see those movies because his hormones were raging enough, he certainly didn't need MORE stimulation! LOL
I agree. You really have to pay careful attention to the movies you choose to bring your children to see. Some parents of my son's friends are not that concerned about the content of movies or viedo games. They watch for ratings but still, the ratings don't always reflect our values. For instance, they allow their sons to play PS2 games that are rated T if they look harmless such as Star Wars Battlefront II. These kids are six and seven so my question was if it's Star Wars why the T rating? I look on the back and see the rating is for violence and mild language. I watch the kids play and note that the violence is not, IMO, that big a deal since it's light sabers and stuff like that BUT everytime one "team" gets the other the droid says in a very robotic voice "d***". Well, not OK for my son to hear over and over in a game. Sometimes adults slip but he doesn't have to hear it in a game. Also, they asked us to see the movie Cheaper By the Dozen 2 and since it was rated PG we went along. It was a good, funny movie but after seeing it I would have rather if I'd seen it with my husband and taken my son to see something else. The close attention to women's breasts was a little much for me with my six year old son. I've learned to check out Plugged In Online which rates, in great detail, the movies at the box office.
Okay, I'm the odd one out. My kids do watch R movies. Not in the theatre granted. If they're watching LOTR or VanHelsing then it's going to be with my DH and I on DVD with lots of talk and a screening of the extra features about how they made the special effects and such afterwards.
Ame said...
"Children should not be watching anything violent until they reach a better understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality."
Which is why we watch the specal features and talk a lot. I don't think that understanding happens at any particular age, it's something that comes with experience and exposure. So my daughter has a firm grasp of the CGI effects that created Mr. Hyde in The League of Extrordinary Gentlemen and knows it's fantasy.
Ame also said (I don't mean to be picking on you )...
"There is an innocence in childhood and children should not be disillusioned any sooner than they have to be. I also believe that seeing violent and sexual images causes emotional stress in children. They are experiencing something they are not mentally equipped to deal with. This stress can manifest itself in behavior issues."
I think what causes the stress is seeing those images without context, without anyone willing to talk it over with them. The stress comes from not know what to do with those images. As for innocence, I don't find that compelling or convincing. In what sense? Catherine's seen some violent movies but still has unicorns and cheetahs riding the roof of our minivan whenever we go somewhere. Knowing more about violence or sex hasn't destroyed anything in her or disillusioned her by any stretch.
It's not the knowledge that hurts kids I think, it's when parents leave kids to sort it out for themselves and don't help them find context for that information and give them tools to understand it.
Well...I've been bashed on here before for this very same topic. My kids watch rated R movies. I did when I was growing up and I turned out just fine. My kids watch them and for the most part are good kids. The way I see it is...I don't want my kids to be sheltered. I don't let hem watch sex scenes but I have no problem with violent ones. I agree with Dawn its not the knowlede that hurts the kids, its the parents that don't give them the tools to understand.
If you ... (and I mean a generic "you" here - this is not directed at any specific poster - before we all get our panties in a bunch )
If you give a toddler a saw - will he know how to use it? Even if you show him, will he be safe using it? The answer is no.
It's the same with violence, and adult themes. You can give a child all the tools you want to understand what they are seeing. You can talk about it forever. They are not psychologically equipped to handle these images and themes until they are older.
I'm not talking about a 13 or 14 year old. I'm talking about a 7 year old or a 9 year old. As Marge posted, the kids were between 5 and 10 years old. How can you give a ten year old the background to successfully deal with some of the violence and sex in today's R rated movies?
My husband was watching a football game and a commercial came on for one of the CSI shows. My son saw the commercial. It graphically depicted a very dead woman who had been bloodied and beaten in the head and face. He had questions and issues for weeks. He saw something he was not ready to see and I feel terrible that he should have had to see that.
You can talk all you like about "reality" and "fantasy" all you like. For young children it's a very gray area. I also think, and this is only my opinion, the younger kids are exposed to this kind of stuff, the more issues they have later on with distinguishing fantasy from reality.
Oh - and don't get me started on violent video games ... that's a whole other thing.
Ame
Well, I take an even different slant on this. Why should DH and I also be watching movies with gratuitous sex and violence? We don't need to be exposed to that stuff either. About 90% of the time if a movie is rated-R we won't watch it, so certainly our children don't. We will occasionally watch an R movie if we feel that the subject matter is important enough to better understand contemporary culture. For example, the movie "Thirteen." There is a lot of language and some sex and violence. It is about a 13 y/o on a self-destructive course of self-mutilation, experimentation with sex, drugs, and alcohol, and the fact that she has a permissive mother who lets her DD do her own thing. Since DH is a youth minister and we have had a few kids like this, we felt it was important to watch...esp. since it was written by the girl who the story was about. Our boys, 9 and 11, would not be allowed to watch it. However, maybe when they are 15 or 16 we might watch it with them just for the purpose of discussion---why rules/boundaries are important, consequences of self destructive behavior, etc. We might also allow some R movies like Braveheart when they are in their mid-teens+. Even then, they will watch with us, so we can discuss it. For now, they can watch G, most PG, and an occasional PG-13 movie if we have screened it first (like Spiderman, which also has some good topics for discussion like "what is a hero?")
Dark movies like Van Helsing (not picking on you unschoolmom--just couldn't think of another example off of the top of my head) and The Wedding Crashers really offer nothing except blood, gore, violence in the case of the first and sex, profanity, and nudity in the case of the second...I would assume. I haven't seen either of them. If a movie isn't going to challenge me and cause me to think about things differently and/or look at things or people differently, but is going to put images in my head that shouldn't be there anyway, then I'm not going to watch it. I'm not trying to shelter my children, but at the same time I am not going to expose them to things that should not be on the tape in their heads regardless of how old they are. Hopefully the fact that they see DH and I practice what we preach and thoughtfully consider what movies we see and why, will help them develop their own discernment. And the argument, "All my friends have seen it, why can't I?" doesn't work around here. DH and I can see the same thing, "All our friends have seen it, but we have seen no value in putting that junk in our heads."
Kristie, I definitely did not shelter my children. But we, as parents, have to make our own decisions on what WE think is appropriate for them to watch. And I am certainly not going to bash you. This is an open forum, we are all free to post our views here.
I chose not to allow Jeff to see those 2 specific films because he was going through puberty and certainly did not need that stimulation. Plus, as I said before, teens don't need to be sent any more messages that the perfect females need to have a perfect body, and be willing to hop into bed with just anyone.
Our kids are raised in a society where casual sex is accepted as the norm. It's a fact. As much as we try to teach sexual abstinence or safe sex or responsible sex, we don't need any encouragement from movies, telling them it's OK to *just do it*.
And I think my main issue is the body image factor. Teenage girls have body image issues. Admittedly, most of them, and most adult women do NOT have the perfect body. Why send them the message that they must have that perfect body? It's difficult to feel confident about your body when the Pam Andersons and Jenny McCarthys, etc. are being shoved in our faces. So our girls don't need to believe they have to look like that. And our boys don't need to think that's the kind of girl they need to have.
I tried to concentrate on healthy eating, which in turn will make a healthy, and *usually* a more *attractive* body. And the most important thing, I tried to teach all of my kids that they need to look for someone with intelligence, sense of humor, loyalty, honesty, integrity - and *if* that person was physically *beautiful*, it was just a fringe benefit.
As for the violence, maybe I have a different situation, in that from my divorce, my kids were angry. Jeff also inherited his dad's temper and his way of dealing with situations which was to want to physically settle the issue. That is NOT what I wanted to teach him. I tried to teach them that you were a stronger person if you dealt with problems with words, not physically. That's the issue I have with violence.
I'm not saying that either of us is right or wrong. I talked to my kids constantly about these topics, and still do, even though they are grown now.
Unschoolmom posted It's not the knowledge that hurts kids I think, it's when parents leave kids to sort it out for themselves and don't help them find context for that information and give them tools to understand it. In my experience, depending on the age of the child, even if you DO talk to them about the sex and/or violence they see, give them explanations, facts, etc., some of them still have confusion and questions in the back of their minds, and will think and wonder about it later on, and it troubles them.
I realize this is a very touchy subject. We all do what we feel is the best. And sometimes, no matter what we do, things don't always turn out as we had planned.
I'll stop rambling now......LOL
I watched Underground yesterday, and it is nothing like vanhelsing. Vanhelsing was pretty much a Teletubbies movie in comparision. And the already mentioned sex scene, while you didnt see anything other than naked bodies it was imo soft p*rn, there was no doubt what they were doing. And the second scene with the naked women, was a bit more raw than necessary, the lady vampires are bitting the guy vampires neck and he is really enjoying kwim. Anyway, I doubt I will even let the 17 yo watch this one uncut. I dont know if even I should have watched it uncut.
And Karen you are SO right, to give you perspective the original StarWars almost got an R rating because of darth vader choking that one guy. The movie would almost get a G rating today.
I saw 2 adult movies when I was a kid, A Man Called Horse, which neighbors took me to after telling my parents we were going to see a Disney movie, and MASH, the movie, which my parents took me to. Both came out in 1970, I think, and I was 7. Both films had images that stayed with me - that are still with me - and I'm in my 40s!
In A Man Called Horse they carved into his chest. In MASH they pulled up the curtain around that nurse taking a shower and we could see her naked body. Both images floored me and shocked me as a kid. It was TMI, big time. I don't remember anything else from either film. Just those 2 scenes.
The screen is so big and the sound up so loud. It's just so in-your-face. Those images become a part of your psyche. And you never know what is going to stick and what isn't.
My son's friend who sees R rated movies regularly doesn't want to see them, he tells me, but his parents think he should be able to handle it and he wants to please his parents.
Pam, we just rented Wedding Crashers. I thought it was going to be funny. I ended up thinking it was stupid. It is full of suggestions of gratuitous sex, swearing and stupid jokes. I'm glad we only rented it and didn't pay movie theater prices. Trust me, save your money.
My kids just aren't interested in R movies. They would just rather watch something else.
Kristie, I'm certainly not going to bash you either. This topic came up with a friend who has an 10 year old son. He and his son will watch scary movies, play violent video games, and whatnot, but the important thing is his DS can handle it. They boy is one of the sweetest, most well-behaved boy I've ever met, so obviously the things he is exposed to are appropriate for *him*. Each child is different.
Still, I feel that *if* you choose to let your child view these movies, it should be at home, in your own controlled environment.
Well mine will watch and r movie but it is always with dh and I. I have never took them to the movies to an R movie our movies are usually kid movies or we will go to a pg 13 but as for home they watch them. they usually will start watching it by the end they are in there rooms playing
I've been wondering about this movie. I really want to see it. My 14 yr. old (he saw the first one) really wants to see it too! I heard it was really violent and it has an 18A rating here. I'm not sure yet. I may go and see it first then decide. My ex may have already taken care of that and let him watch it already. He is much less cautious then I am about those things.
That being said at his age I was watching scary and violent movies. Friday the 13th etc. and I've turned out ok so I don't know. I am still sensitive to how he may feel though watching that sort of thing.
I guess I have to agree that it depends on the child. My kids can handle the gore and know better than to repeat the cuss words. I gave up long ago trying to keep cussing from my kids. They are military brats and we can't go anywhere (beach, store, doctors, etc...)with out them hearing the "bad" language. As far as taking them to the movies...we don't go too often and it really depends on the movie. We did take them to see King Kong and they both loved it. I tried to cover dd's eyes a couple times and she got very angry at me and went and sat 2 seats away. When she talks about the movie she tells everyone about the dinosaurs and that the big monkey loved the girl and its was soo sweet because he loved her. Now as for the Underworld, I would not have taken them to see that!
I'm 45 and still haven't seen Friday the 13th! LOL!
LOL! Dawn really to be honest you're not missing much
That's kind of what I thought! LOL! There's a lot of other movies I would much rather watch!
If you ... (and I mean a generic "you" here - this is not directed at any specific poster - before we all get our panties in a bunch )
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Mine bunch automatically.
You do have some good points. I'm not going to support all kids watching R movies. Not all kids are the same. My daughter happens to love a lot of it and we have fun and great talks together. My nephew however, almost her age, hates the stuff and does not deal with it well.
And to be honest, I do have limits. We haven't watched Underworld. If I don't know how to approach a movie or feel comfortable talking about it, I won't watch it with the kids.
And the R rating is sort of arbitrary. I mentioned Van Helsing which I believe was R but, as somone mentioned, it's no Underworld. It's got elements of old familiar stories and characters while underworld is very much just about violence and sex.
So...It's one of things things families should approach with a good knowledge of their children and themselves and a lot of forethought. If you're not comfortable with the idea, it probably isn't a good idea. But I can't accept that there's a hard and fast rule about R movies and children that applies across the board.
It depends on the child and the movie. Jackie Chan movies are almost always rated R movies but other than the fighting and maybe some swear words there really isn't any inappropriate sexuality. I let all the kids watch his movies. Other moveis, depends on the movie and the child. It also seems like a lot of PG13 movies now would have been rated R when I was young.
I truly think it depends on the movie content and the child. I think parents should be well educated on the movie before letting the child view though. I made a bad decision on a movie once, I thought it would be harmless and had to make Kyle turn his head several times. He's a good kid though and did. If it had been Kayla she would have watched through her fingers!
When I was a kid my Mom liked my sister and I to watch kid movies. The only catch was that usually it was my Dad who brought us to pick out the movies and he didn't care what we watched. We always RAN to the horror department and picked out movies like Freddie, Pumpkinhead, Poltergeist etc.. we loved it. I remembered thinking by about third grade that scary movies just weren't that scary, fake blood, fake masks etc.. so I got bored with them and haven't really watched them much since. Now I only watch them when I think they will be really good, like I can't remember the name of it, but the "I see dead people" movie. Anyway looking back it seemed like a lot of kids in my grade were very afraid of things in movies for a lot longer than I was. So I don't think it was too bad. I think it depends on the kid and the movie.
Groove
(And I think you're all confused, if I recall I was the one with my panties in a bunch Ha Ha ha)
"I see dead people" was Haley Osment in Sixth Sense
(and I have never seen the movie! LOL! DH rented it once, and I got kind of interested. If he rented it again, I think I would watch it! I kept running in to ask what was going on! (Like how annoying could I be?)
HaHaHa! Well isn't it sad I call it a good movie and don't even remember the name! Yeah you'll have to see it.
...But WHY? What's the purpose in allowing young children to watch these images? What will it do for them?
It goes beyond whether your child can deal with it or not.
I am curious, for those of you that allow it, why you allow it.
I had trouble letting my son watch "The Fox and the Hound" - so that will tell you where I'm coming from.
Every moment of childhood is so precious, IMHO, that I feel my children need exposure only to good and positive things when they are very little. They need to feel that the world is a good and safe place. Their little brains soak up everything like a sponge. What they see should be enriching and meaningful.
They've got plenty of time to experience the darker side of reality. Once they have, they can't go back.
Oh and again, I wasn't referring to anyone specific. I just love that phrase, "panties in a bunch"
And it is not my intention to bash anyone, either. We all do what we think is right.
Ame
My children are older, 12&6 and I haven't let them watch an R rated movie. I always tell them they are growing up too fast, and if I let them watch and do everything now they will get bored later. HAHA
I think its a personal decision, what works for some doesn't work for others. I do have to say that my son has watched Power Rangers, has toy weapons, and really could care less about playing with them. I have found that alot of moms were against their child/children playing with weapons,and truthfully these are the moms whos kids have ended up biting their cheeseburger or chicken nugget into the shape of a gun while eating at Mcdonalds and pointing it at my son! LOL
What will it do for my kids?
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen sparked an interest in some of the stories and characters involved, Alan Quartermain, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Jeckel and Hyde. We explored some of those stories and later when we do read some of the others she'll have a reference point.
VanHelsing fed her interest in monsters and CGI effects. She watches a movies like that and goes on to design pages of neat beast. I've found a few easy animation programs on the internet so she can carry her interest into exploration and try her hand at animation.
One video game we'd play while she watched was a hack and slash sword thing with tons of monsters. After watching us play that she designed lego dungeons, construction paper armour, detailed adventure stories.
Catherine has gotten fodder for her imagination and activities, glimpses into the magic behind those films and their effects, points of reference for future books and movies, opportunities to discuss things with us that might never have come up before and a whole lot of fun.
Exploring the darker side of reality isn't somthing that, I think, kids need to avoid or even something they aren't familiar with already. Being scared can be thrilling, esp. when it's just a movie and you're safe beside your parents. But a movie aside, what's darker then an angry parent, a bully at school, a sick friend, a dying pet...And all of that is real. Not something you can press 'stop' on or watch the extra to learn it's fake.
Normal, healthy childhoods can have very dark moments. Kids know about the dark side of things in some ways. Maybe having the chance to explore darker stuff with a book TV show that can't harm you in the safety of your home with parents to help if needed, maybe that's a useful way for some kids to feel some control over the darker aspects of life.
I guess I feel like although there may be some good topics in R rated shows, where kids are concerned those same topics are covered in non r shows.
Studies have proven and proven that the more exposure people have to things the more they are desensitized. Garbage in, garbage out. I don't think any amount of talking or discussing helps that. They may not act out, but it is still garbage. I think this is true for adults as well as kids.
So why should adults be different. Well, I guess honestly I have been desensitized. I have experienced real people cussing, and having sex. I don't want my daughter's (or son's) first sexual experience to be in a movie at age of 10.
I am amazed at what gets past the raters and if I get my panites in a wad when they use the word "dick" in an animate made for kids show, you can bet that I won't let my kids see r rated shows. I don't let them see all pg rating and only once exception for a pg 13 (star wars).
At some point you have to set boundries and have to have a plan. Do these shows fit into that plan? They might. But in general the "plan" for most entertainment is to have a good time. Really should we encourage our kids to think killing people is a good time, or heck how comfortable are you during the sex scene when your child is watching.
Dawn, (and I'm not picking on you either ) Couldn't her imagination have been sparked without her having to experience the violence and language of an R rated movie?
There are tons of movies with monsters and CGI effects that are not R rated.
And there are plenty of ways to explore the darker side of human behavior, should you choose to do that with a young child, that do not include movies that R rated.
I agree with Kaye in that you get out what you put in. Forget R rated movies - commercials are too much sometimes. Most of the toys are action figures that are hacking at each other, or sex crazed barbie type dolls,
The time my child has to learn is too precious for me to waste it by exposing him to stuff he doesn't need to see.
We all do what we feel is right, but I haven't heard one argument yet that would convince me that an R rated movie would be beneficial for a young child to watch.
Ame
I rarely ever watch rated R movies myself. My older boys have seen a couple have their Dads and their Dad has been in alot of trouble with me over it. So he thinks before he does that now. lol
My youngest has never seen an R movie. Now, they have seen some TV shows, that may as well have been R !!!!!
Ame- Sure there are. I just don't believe that the violence and language in those movies we've watched with her have done any harm. Obviously, if I did, she wouldn't be watching them. I don't see the need to not let her watch them. I don't think bad language and violence (within limits I'm comfortable with) are harmful to view when they're is a safe context (a caring family to discuss things with) to view them in.
I've seen nothing in Catherine or Harry that would lead me to stop letting them watch the movies.
If a parent isn't comfortable with those issues or unsure of how to discuss them then I agree the kids probably shouldn't be watching them. But I'm not going to concede that foul language and some violence (even nudity and some sexuality)are inherently harmful.
And I know you're not picking on me. We're just on opposite sides of this issue and will naturally clash. I've got enough respect for you to know your position comes from well-founded experience and a lot of thought.
I have a great deal of respect for you, too, Dawn. I guess that's why I want to try and understand your position. I know you would never allow your child to experience something you felt would be harmful. I guess I still don't understand how it can be beneficial, but we can agree to disagree.
Ame
My older children have seen most of the movies Dawn has mentioned, but they are 13 and 15. Most of the movies mentioned are not R, they are PG 13. The only movie I don't want them to see is Sixth Sense. Not because of the "I see dead people" part, but because of the munchaussen part (spelling??).
Ok so you decide not to let your kids watch R movies. Well where does it stop? Do your kids watch cartoons? They're very violent these days. What about the school bus? Are you going to drive your kids to school everyday? Because if not they will certainly be exposed there. What about the news? Do you lock your children up and make sure they never see a glimps of the news? It's violent. What about in your home? Are you ALWAYS perfectly polite? Never saying a mean thing, never showing frustration about anything?
If you let your kids think the world is full of "Care Bears" They are in for a rude awakening. Why wouldn't you protect them against that? In my oppinion when you talk to kids in a matter of fact, no big deal way, they respond the same. It's when you talk like something is a huge deal that they get all traumatized. Do you want your kids not to believe there are bad people in the world? Why wouldn't they go with a stranger if they are only exposed to good? Just a thought
Groove
No, my 4 year old and one year old have no need for the news, violent cartoons or rude language. We really do try to be polite and nice to each other. I think it's just our personalities. We have our disagreements, but we use nice words. I am not perfect, but I do try and model good behavior for them. Maybe that's why at 16 months Helen always says please and thanks. Perhaps that's why everybody always comments on what happy children they are.
I don't watch "adult" television in front of them. I have no need to.
Being mean or watching violence is not going to teach them safety. It will just teach them fear. They don't need fear in their lives right now.
They have plenty of interaction with other children. They learn in the real world that their peers can be mean, selfish, violent, deceitful, rude, hurtful ... etc. They have no need to experience it in fantasy as well.
So, you see, they are not sheltered or in for a rude awakening. They just don't have to be exposed to over the top "unreality" of R rated films or television that's probably not fit for most people to watch.
Ame
But please don't get me wrong. I am not 'judging' what any other parent feels is right for her/his child. I do not feel, not am I trying to say, that my way is the only way. It's just the only way for me.
Ame
Mine doesn't watch R rated movies, but that doesn't mean he's sheltered. He plays Halo online. He plays games over the internet where sometimes perverts show up and I point out the signs of a pervert and teach him how to respond. We talk openly about the news and I watch it in front of him (not the silly "news" stories about sex). His favorite cartoons are The Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. He's not sheltered.
Besides R rated movies, I also steer him away from commercials by muting them or talking to him when they are playing, regular prime time shows like Friends or whatever kids are watching now that are mostly about sex, and music, except for Radio Disney. We also don't do sports.
I think it's interesting to hear about what other people choose for rules with their children. Amecmom you have a good point that kids learn from other kids about being mean etc.. but I still think I'd rather have my kids know that adults too can be mean. Obviously a kid doesn't have to learn that from R rated movies but there is a time and place to teach them. It sounds like Mommmie is allowing some freedom with the Halo game and doing a great job explaining to her son about perverts at the same time. It's funny that R rated movies don't particularly bother me, but I would never allow a kid to have a computer in his room or play online games like Halo. It's all about our personal choices I guess.
Groove
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