My son who is 18 months old comes in my room when I am changing. At what age to you stop changing in front of your kids?
It was funny because he calls everything round and big "apples" and he saw me in my bra and yelled "apples"!!! My DH about died laughing! At least he wasn't saying it about my butt!!!
And, I thought I would put this on the debate board, just in case people disagree, etc etc etc...

To be naked or not to be naked...or, in the south, "Nekkid"!

By Tink on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 01:31 pm:

I stopped letting the kids see me in full undress around a year, unless they walked in, unexpectedly. They saw me in bra and panties until about three and none of them have seen me "nekkid" for at least a year. My oldest walked in one day while I was in my bra and khakis and ran back out to my ds shouting, "Mom's boobies are SOOO big!" I'm so glad we didn't have anyone visiting right then. I don't make a big deal about being ashamed of it or anything but I'm fairly private and we talk about respecting others' privacy and chance to have some alone time.

Along this same line, at what age do any of you require your kids to be fully dressed in front of other family members? My youngest two still run out to the living room to cuddle in their towel after their baths and there is invariably a towel slip, either accidentally or purposefully. My oldest just stopped doing this since she turned eight.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 02:37 pm:

We don't make it a habit to let the kids see us naked, but they occasionally do. If one of them walks in and sees me, I don't rush to cover, but I ask them to leave, because Mommy is not dressed. This goes with both of them. If one of them sees DH, he does the same, we don't want them to think there is something wrong with our bodies, but we stress privacy. They still bathe together, and are not bashful about running around without clothes on. When there are friends over (both our friends and theirs) we stress that they cannot have their privates showing, especially Shane when my friend's little girls are here. On the flip side, Shane has showered with his uncle, when he was staying with us. (No, I'm not completely careless, I wouldn't allow that with just anyone!!!) We're teaching them that no one should touch their privates except to clean them, and that it's not appropriate to touch Mommy or Daddy's privates. For example, they will roughhouse, and DH will get a kick to the groin by accident. If he says something, they will want to grab the boo boo (we "grab" their boo boos and "throw them away") to make Daddy feel better. No can do, that's privates, but be more careful next time. Make sense? Madison has an obsession with nipples, and we've had to tell her not to poke at Daddy's (they picked up t!tty twisters from someone... not pointing fingers!!), because she thinks it's funny but will then try to do it to me, but mine are my private areas. Ugh, it gets to be so complicated, doesn't it? We're fairly open, but starting to teach boundries on what's private. I think that they'll naturally come to a point where they are more bashful, and will want more privacy.

By Juli4 on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 02:47 pm:

We have all girls and the oldest one is four. They still see me naked on a regular occasion. I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old so someone is there when I get out of the shower usually. We teach bathroom privacy. My four year old will tell her sisters to leave she needs privacy and then other times she does not care. They do not however see my husband naked at all. They know that daddy needs privacy when taking a shower and such, but with me or eachother they don't really care unless I tell them to leave for privacy reasons. We also teach them that their "bottoms" are private and just for them and no one else. That seems to work pretty good. So same sex nudity not a big deal, but with dh is it not practiced.

By Truestori on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 02:57 pm:

I am a nudist by nature...I don't think its a big deal, but I am like Crystal in the sense that I will ask them to leave if they walk in, but I don't freak out. My daughter 12 still talks to me while I'm in the shower, its actually really sweet.

By Boxzgrl on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 03:02 pm:

DD still takes bathes with me. She's not allowed to see DH naked though. Or at least we try not. I think i'll be giving up bathes with her soon especially as my tummy grows. It's just been a convenience thing. I don't know if there is a right age but DH and I both felt uncomfortable when she would stare at him while naked knowing something looked different.

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 04:06 pm:

Truestori, love your comment about nudist by nature. I'm very much like that. Growing up, I saw my dad sometimes in his undies but I don't remember ever seeing him naked. Saw my mom naked all the time. My sisters and I did not have the slightest bit of modesty about walking around the house in bra and panties right in front of my dad. It's just the way we were.

Natalie is 18mths now, she sees me naked and I don't think I'll ever have a problem with her seeing me naked. She doesn't see DH naked anymore, but does see him in his undies when he's changing clothes. I don't really see a problem with that, but she's young now so I don't know if our feelings will change in the future reagarding DH.

It's funny because this made me think of a photo that my parents have of me in the bathtub (maybe 2 yrs. old) with my Dad and he's wearing his underwear! I was a major Daddy's girl, very open discussions at our house, nothing really taboo. I apparently (according to my parents) wanted to take a bath with Daddy just like I did Mommy so they decided if he wore his undies it would be okay!!LOL Too funny now. I'm standing up in the tub butt naked and dad is pouring water over my head in his soaking underwear. Are we strange???

Natalie is very interested in my breasts these days. I always tell her it would have been nice if she were that interested when we had so much trouble with breastfeeding!!

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 04:22 pm:

I'm feeling embarrassed now!! I guess I'm the only one who's DD saw her daddy naked after 1 year. She doesn't really anymore, but she sees her brother every night. Maybe it's because we have boy/girl twins, it made us worry about it less?

By Juli4 on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 05:21 pm:

My daughter saw and took showers with my dh until she was 2 and then we became more careful. The 18month old is not a big deal but defenitely the oldest one and the 3 year old. They would # 1 remember and who wants to remember seeing their dad naked and # 2 they would ask a lot of questions and it would be awkward for dh

By Alberobello on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 05:29 pm:

Don't be Crystal i don't think there is nothing wrong, but of course every family is different. I remember having a shower with my dad (before he left when i was five) and thought nothing of it.

My dh and i always walk naked around the house (our son is 7) and i still shower with my son. Only recenlty i have started feeling a little bit akward around ds because he starts joking: "uuuhhh, booobies...!" and i don't know how to react LOL I mean he jokes about everything so probably thinks nothing of it but maybe it's time to start covering up

By Alberobello on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 05:39 pm:

Now I am starting to be embarrased too! Do you think we should have covered up a long time ago? Guess it's too late now... (Will have to talk to dh about it!)

No, really we don't think is wrong, especially dh (his mum still enters the bathroom if dh is having a bath, whereas i've never seen my mum without clothes). I am like this only with them (dh & ds) because i don't like to undress even in public showers.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 06:14 pm:

Maria,
I think it's cultural. I never saw my dad naked, but that's because he's my stepdad, and didn't meet us until I was 8. However, my parents love the caribbean, and frequently went to topless beaches, etc. I never went, but I knew they did, and nudity wasn't that big of a deal. I think that may be why I'm less bashful now.

By Truestori on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 07:01 pm:

Well,
This may be changing the subject alittle but my dad called me the other day and told me that he is buying a resort that is clothing optional! Mind you I haven't grown up really knowing my dad, actually just recently discovering what hes all about. Anyway, I asked him if I could go out during the training weeks and learn the buisness with him?? Well, about too seconds into it I realized that I would have to be nude, while learning to run the place in front of my father NOT LOL , at that same minute he came to the same realization and started cracking up...Needless to say I won't be attending! I guess I should say I'm a nudist in my own little world!

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 07:41 pm:

Stori- Me, too! I don't want to be naked outside of my house either!

By Beth on Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 07:50 pm:

My dd 4 still sees me occasionally, really only because she doesn't know the meaning of the word privacy. She will say ," it's okay I am a girl." I argue sometimes and finally give up. Lol! But she does not see her dad naked nor does my son see me. I don't freak out if its an accident. I teach my dk's even though they share a room that they change seperately. My dd actually said something else funny the other day. I was changing my clothes after church and she said what are you doing? Daddy is up here he is going to see you like that. I about cracked up. I explained to her it's okay for married men and women to do that. She is quite a case sometimes.

By Wife2jason on Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - 12:01 am:

I think a lot has to do personality of your child! I grew up in a VERY modest home, but I feel completely comfortable walking thru the house in 'me undies'. I have 2 boys, 5 & 3,and my 5y/o has started to look/feel uncomfortable seeing me naked, so I have to respect that and now am usually found in boxers and t-shirt. But they on the other hand love to be 'caught' naked and always laugh at each other..... I think that's a boy thing? My hubby feels very uncomfortable w/o his undies on around the boys.

I only just stopped showering with my 5 y/o a few months ago, but still shower with the 3y/o all the time. Convenience reasons mainly... I'm lazy.

But anywho, my thought is that each child will have their own feelings, and you should go by that.

By Unschoolmom on Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - 07:40 am:

Crystal, my daughter is seven and she still sees my DH get out of the shower on occasion. She certainly sees me and both kids like to run around naked, her on occasion, Harry constantly.

This is one of those issues where what goes for one family doesn't fit the next and one rule doesn't fit all. Some families aren't comfortable with it, others take nudist vacations!

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - 08:01 am:

"I am a nudist by nature...I don't think its a big deal"

That would be moi, as well. LOL My dad's family were all such prudes about so many things, and my mom's family were much more relaxed. I can remember as a child, sitting in the bathroom with my mom while she went through her *primping* ritual on nights she and my dad were going out.

And once my parents divorced and we moved away, it was my mom, and 3 girls, so there was little modesty and a lot of nudity in our household.

When I had kids, we had a lot of nudity in our home too, but what I basically tried to impart to them was not to be ashamed of their body, but to be private. Obviously my X-DH did't walk around nude in front of them. If they ever saw him naked, it was purely accidental.

Jen's a little nudist at heart too. It's a good thing I tried to teach her modesty, because she has very little, just like her mom. I don't think oldest DS has ever seen me unclothed, and I know youngest DS hasn't seen me unclothed since he was a little one, so he probably has no memory of it. But the girls and I just don't see it as a big deal.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - 02:48 pm:

Karen, that's how my kids and I are. We are pretty relaxed about it. They don't ever see DH naked at all. He does go around in his underwear, but my dad did, too. I see my kids. They see me. Most of the time I don't care.

By Bellajoe on Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - 04:11 pm:

My ds, 4, has no modesty at all. If i let him, he would walk around naked all the time. My dd, 6, thinks it is NASTY when her brother comes down the hall naked and wants him to go away. He only does this when he is supposed to be getting dressed. We try to teach them privacy. My dd has learned to be more private and wants her bedroom door closed while she is getting dressed. She is still o.k. with my dh helping her with showers and baths though.

My kids took a shower with me till they were probably 2, or till they started noticing and asking about body parts and hair . They never took a shower with dh. They never see us naked now. They may see dh in his boxers but that is all. And they do not see me in my undies and bra unless they walk in unexpected. If they do that, i just tell them that i am not dressed and they need to leave the room till i am clothed.

By Marcia on Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - 11:07 pm:

I have no problem with my girls seeing me naked, and they sometime still shower with me. (12,10,9)
They might see hubby in his undies now and then, but not intentionally. Even when they were tiny, he wore his bathing suit if he had baths with them.
My 12 year old is all woman now, and we're trying to get her to remember to wear clothes when she walks into a room. She doesn't think twice about throwing a towel around herself to walk into the living room to find clean clothes. What a kid!!

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 01:52 pm:

Definitions
Naked is when you ain't got clothes on
"Nekkid" is when you ain't got clothes on and you're up to something.

LOL--I 'learnt' that from my Southern dictionary

BTW--doesn't bother me for 4 yo dd to see me without clothes on. But dh always try to make sure his privates are covered. With the boys, it was the opposite. They didn't see me without clothes after they were really little.

By Breann on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 03:20 pm:

My DD is 6 and my DS is 4. While we don't make a habit out of walking around naked, they do see us naked now and then. DS still showers with my DH.
If I've just gotten out of the shower and DS walks in, I don't freak out and rush to kick him out. I pick up my towel and wrap it around me and tell him that I just got out of the shower and I need to get dressed, then I'll help him do whatever.
My DD occasionally walks in on DH when he's getting dressed. He covers up a bit faster, since she is older. He asks her to leave until he gets dressed. She is getting older now, and has seen all there is to see, so it's time to keep it private now.
With the same sex, we are more casual about it. DH and DS get dressed together. DD and I dress together sometimes, too. I think it's important for them to "see", so that they know what is normal when they start to develop. I also felt it was important for my kids to see the parent of the opposite sex naked so that they know what that is all about as well. Now that they are getting older, that is about over with. But, they know what both sexes have, and have seen it in person.

By Crystal915 on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 05:04 pm:

I think an interesting byproduct of being uncomfortable with nudity at home is increased discomfort when in a public situation, such as a locker room. I was never particularly disturbed by having to change in the locker room, but some girls would freak out about it. Even now, when we go to the gym, my friend and I will change in front of each other. We all have the same bits, so what's the big deal? Guys seem less worried about nudity than we do, it's like women are made to feel their bodies are taboo. All very strange aspects of our culture.

By Reds9298 on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 05:10 pm:

I was a 'nudist' growing up, but hated changing in the locker room. I don't think it's because we think our bodies are taboo, I just think there's so much competition between women about who looks good and who doesn't, you know? I am always comparing myself to other women and seeing if I measure up, and I'm a small woman. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like women are way more competitive about their bodies. Unfortunate, but I think true.

By Marcia on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 10:32 pm:

I could never stand changing in front of people, especially in a locker room type setting!

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 02:12 am:

Deanna,
I don't think it's just us. Men just aren't as open about it. Lots of men get plastic surgery, or on a less extreme side they obsess over their "problem" areas. Still, you'd be surprised how many women feel nudity is taboo. It makes me sad, it's the kind of thinking that makes people freak out about public breastfeeding.

By Hlgmom on Tuesday, January 17, 2006 - 12:55 pm:

Ditto Crystal

By Kym on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 08:41 pm:

I don't run around the house naked, but don't lock my door when I shower/bathe or change and often leave it ajar, to hear if someone loses a limb. My kids know that if I'm in my bathroom, where I do all of the above, most likely I'll be in some state of "nekkidness", my 9 y/o ds and my 6 y/o ds are just plain grossed out by it, I'm hoping they soon learn the "knock first" lesson, but feel it may take a "knock" to the head for them to get it!LOL
As I'm typing this my 20 month old is perfroming a nude table dance for me my 9 y/o, he's just as grossed out by his "nekkidness' as mine!