Adolescent Sex Offenders
Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): Adolescent Sex Offenders
There is the debate about an adult male predator. So now I would like to ask how you all feel about adolescent sexual offenders. Can they be as evil as adult sex offenders?
There was a lady in my church whose 7 year old dd was touched inappropriately by the teenage son of another church member. This boy was 15 at the time he was caught, and it is believed that he may have been at it for at least a year prior. He pled guilty to 2nd degree criminal sexual conduct and was sentenced to 1 year community service, probation, and treatment in the renowned Adolescent Sexual Offenders Treatment Program, which apparently is a very respected program and other counties in other states are modeling their programs after the one in our county, or so she was told. His treatment consisted of weekly one-hour visits individually with a counselor as well as some group therapy for one year.
The family of the perpetrator was (and still is) dysfunctional and refused efforts by the church elders to help them come to terms with their son's behavior and, since the mom refused to monitor her son's wherabouts while at the church, they were also told not to bring him to services anymore. Once again, despite efforts made on behalf of the elders to maintain contact with the boy for purposes of counseling and spiritual guidance, the mother decided that since her son was not able to attend church services, neither would she. (Incidentally, watching Desperate Housewives' Van de Camp family cover up their son's car accident reminded me of that family.)
The mom of the victim has absolutely no faith that the counseling is successful because, for one thing, it is not faith-based, but for another, the boy was not held accountable for his actions by his parents, esp the mother (who refused to allow the police detective to interview her son), and she feels that he just went through the motions to get through the program. She disregards the fact that the counselor has assured her that the boy has indeed come to terms with the severity of the consequences of his actions on the young girl.
She totally believes that, as a result of his home environment which includes verbal abuse and neglect on the part of his mother, he is ruined for life and is almost guaranteed to re-offend.
I agree that the mother's behavior is detrimental to the well-being of the children (3 in that family), but I feel that at least he has a fighting chance after going through the program. The rest is up to him. Besides, isn't this why we have a juvenile justice system in this country- to treat these problems before they become adults?
So, the ASOTP counseling required that the boy hold himself accountable to his victim and deliver a formal apology to the victim before he was able to be released. The program emphasizes personal responsibility and shows ways in which kids can deal with stress other than victimizing other innocent individuals, as well as achieving an understanding of the consequences of their actions. It sounds like it tries to give young people a conscience and a sense of empathy where there may not have been any before.
I could not find mych info about such programs online. But here is what I did find-
http://www.kentcountydvccrt.net/sexualassault-children.php
http://www.howardcenter.org/Baird/baird%20programs/baird77park.htm
So, how would you feel about an adolescent (as opposed to an adult) sex offender living in your neighborhood?
The age of the convicted molester/rapist doesn't change my feelings toward them. I think they all should be registered and GPS monitored; for life. Also jail time should be more drastic and severe.
I will say that I am more lenient when it comes to kids hurting kids. I would really have to look at each individual case.
That being said, just how many serial rapist, murders, etc do we have to hear talk about they started when they were kids and how it just progressed before we will take this more seriously? I certainly don't want to give up on a child, but if you don't do something very serious you might as well. I don't necessarily think locking them up, but certainly a LOT of counseling and monitoring for a very long time. It amazes me how many parents just write off their teenagers deviant behavior as being kids and then not punishing them. I mean yes kids will be kids and make bad choices, but it is our JOB to teach them they are bad choices and to discourage more bad choices. Parents just don't always want to be parents these days.
Ditto Annie2. I feel the same way. Since it's about sex and sexual acts, it's NOT gonna change IMO. That's like saying I'm going to stop enjoying **** (pick a personal sexual pleasure) all of a sudden. Not going to happen. IMO, it just means we're catching someone early and can get them out of society before they sexually hurt someone else.
Ditto Kaye. I do think that adolescents can make horrible decisions and, if it is dealt with correctly by parents, counselors and law enforcement, some of them may change. Since I doubt all forces work together correctly every time, and that the adolescent will always change their behavior, in spite of the help that has been given to them, SERIOUSLY high levels of monitoring and accountability need to be in place. At this point in time, I would NOT want to be living in the same neighborhood as any sexual offender, regardless of age.
I thought of it this way:
If my neighbors, brothers, ages 15 and 23 both raped my son or daughter, I would want them both put away. (just an example, I don't have neighbors with teenage boys).
I also think the word molestation is a loose term. When it comes to innocent children any kind of inappropriate sexual engagement should be termed rape. IMO, if someone forces oral sex on a child it is rape not molestation.
I guess my opinion would change on a case by case basis. It would also depend on the age of the child. There have been cases of kids much younger than the one your talking about touching and doing things to other kids. I personally know of a 6 year old that was doing things to another child. Turns out, this 6 year old was being molested by someone too. That makes a huge difference to me. He was repeating what was done to him. I don't think for one second that it was "sexually" driven and in his case, I do think that help for him could turn him around.
I think the tendancy to be a sexual perpetrator is hard-wired into people and just like the fact adult sexual offenders are almost impossible to rehab, I think teen sexual offenders are also almost impossible to rehab too.
We have had a registered teen sexual offender living behind us for while in the past. His victim was his brother. Ages were like 13 and 11 at the time of the incident (which I have no details on). Parents divorced and mom took the victim and dad took the perp. Dad and perp kid moved in with dad's parents who lived behind us until the grandparents found about what happened and said they couldn't stay. They didn't want their house registered.
I have told the story on here of the neighbor boy wanting to take my son off into the bushes and touch ding dongs and this kid wanted to put his nose in my son's bottom or wanting to be peed on, etc. This kid was persistent and (badly) secretive about his pursuits. And he targeted anyone he could find. Not just my child who is 9 months younger. And he was FAST. He only needed a few minutes to get someone in the bushes with his pants down or grabbing someone's shorts and pulling them down.
This neighbor kid's sexual behavior started when he was FIVE years old and continued until he was 10 (as far as I know as I don't speak with the family anymore). The kid is now 11. My son is forbidden to play with him, of course. I told another neighbor family what this kid was doing to their son, but they didn't think it was a problem and their kid still plays with him. I've seen this little perp so much in action I can tell it's not a stage but a complusion.
So, bottom line, YES teen sexual predetors can be just as evil as adults and I think even 5-year-old kids who are bent like this can be evil. I think it's hard wired and no amount of therapy will help them. I learned that the hard way.
Wow. I am suprised by the responses.
My friend was told by the counselor that their re-offense rate was only like 3%, and that based on what he has seen, and what his collegues have told him, if they ever see any of their patients again, they came back to thank them for their effort and good work. She's like, "Who is he trying to convince anyway?"
But, I thought that she should give him the benefit of the doubt just for her own sake. I mean, she can't go through life being bitter. She could at least acknowledge that he may have benefitted something from his therapy, and his chances are now somewhat better than they would have been without it. But she remains firm in her belief that he is evil and perverted and has no remorse and no conscience about what he has done.
I was just wondering if there was anything I could say to her. I guess not.
Well, in the cases of reforming adults to not be child molesters, I don't think all the therapy in the world is going to change them. That is who they are sexually attracted to. Just as I don't believe that I could go to therapy to not be sexually attracted to men (dh for example :-) or gays can go to therapy so they aren't attracted to the same sex. I also would not believe the 3% rate. I will admit that there might be a SMALL percentage that could learn to control their urges and not act on them. But I don't think the desire would go away. And I don't want to take the chance with them living next door to my dd!!
I'd probably feel the exact same way if someone touched my 7yr old. I wouldn't care if he could possibly be rehabilitated. I'd want him dead or at the very least locked up for good. All he got was a community service and a sex offender program? No wonder the mother is still bitter.
Ditto Vicki. I watched a very interesting program on discovery last year about a place studying and trying to reform child molesters. It was sickening and a bit sad. They were trying to condition these to *not* be attracted to children by sitting them in a chair attached to all of these shock cords going everywhere. They watched a screen with a misc. mixture of pictures of everyday things and children doing everyday things. (A little girl riding her bike for example, then an apple, then a chair, then a boy playing ball, etc.) When the men responded to the photos of children, determined by all of this hi-tech equipment, they were shocked and experienced pain. This whole process was voluntary.
They interviewed several of the men have this done and it was so sick and so sad! Almost all of them said they hated to say it but nothing was going to change how they feel when they see a male/female child. Most of them said they should not be able to live in society because they could not trust themselves. I wish I could remember the name of this program. The re-offense rate was sky high.
These were not adolescents, but don't you think these same men - as adolescents discovering their sexual feelings - had an attraction to children then, too? I agree with Vicki. You can shock me a million times and I'm still going to be sexually attracted to my dh, pic of a sexy man, whatever. I started liking boys in 4th grade and you could not have told me to like girls then either.
Just re-reading the original question...I think it's sad to say that an adolescent is evil because it seems they have so much life ahead of them. BUT, sexual attraction is a powerful thing as we all know and regardless of our age, once we have it, we have it. JMO
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