Wow! I'm amazed that this kid's learned "stranger danger" beat out his survival instinct!! Can a parent instill too much stranger danger to the point the child has no common sense??

For those not following the story, this boy said he saw rescue people on horses but was afraid of them because he was taught to stay away from strangers. So here he is lost in the forest in Utah for 4 days with no food and water and all he can think of is, "My parents told me to not talk to strangers." Amazing!!

By Kaye on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 03:00 pm:

I think the child is a little "off". In quotes from the parents they say he is "not mentally retarded, just socially slower". He probably has a mild form of aspergers.

What I am finding a bit off is they don't want to ask or push him about his time the past 4 days. I think I woudl want to make sure he wasn't abducted and the release, I would question him big time!

Can we over teach protection...yes I think we can. I think education is highly important, but we have to keep things relative to fear. Just the other day my dd was watching the news going on and on about the bad stuff. I finally looked at her and said, you know there are over 4 million people in our city and more in our viewing/coverage area. There were really bad things they covered, that means our odds of that happening are about 1 in 2 million. That really eased her mind. She said, so don't do stupid things but we are probably safe.

By Missmudd on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 05:05 pm:

I can not imagine what that little guy went through. Not many of us grown ups would come out ok being lost for 4 days in the wilderness.

I remember when I was in 2nd grade I went on a long walk with my dog, all day in fact, no one knew where I was and the police were called. I remember seeing the police car and ducking into the bushes. I dont know what I was thinking. I had no reason to fear the police and I remember just thinking in emotions not words, "they are looking for me, I dont want them to find me". I wasnt afraid of strangers and was a very self assured little girl. After I saw the police I only realized then that I should probably go home. Of course everyone freaked and was relieved. I told my folks about seeing the police and they couldnt understand why I didnt wave them down. I think partially that I thought that if you had to ride in a police car you had to go to jail. I hadnt thought of that in years.

By Debbie on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 06:37 pm:

You have to take into consideration that he didn't have anything to eat or drink for 4 days!! They said he was dehydrated and a little delerious(sp?). This may have had something to do with why he didn't come out. Four days is a long time to be lost in the woods alone. I am an adult and I would have totally freaked. I can't even image what it was like for an 11 year old.

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 - 08:46 pm:

Good point, Debbie. I would have freaked too, BTW. So combine dehydration with what was probably intense fear, on top of being *socially slow*, that could explain it.

However, I would be very concerned about the possibility that he had been abducted and/or molested. I'd definitely want to find out the whole story, as I am sure his parents do. The thought occurs to me that THAT could be a reason he hid from the rescuers - could it be he was so traumatized either from being lost, or from something else happening to him, that he was too afraid to let anyone else get near him?

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 07:16 am:

My oldest son has a mild version of Aspergers, which means his social sense is not particularly good. And I can tell you that yes, he would have taken his parents' instructions as absolute rules, not to be broken under any circumstances. At this boy's age, he would not have been able to develop the rationale that these circumstances are different and so I can disobey my parents' rule. And, probably his parents were especially strong in warning him about strangers because his social senses are poor and they felt he might be at increased danger of believing what a stranger adult told him and hence at risk.

I remember an incident where I realized that my son's shoes were too small and pressing on his toes (he was about 8, and dressing himself and putting his shoes on without assistance). When I said "don't your toes hurt", he said yes. So I said, why didn't you tell me. His response was related to an event several months earlier when I had scolded him for using his feet/shoes as brakes when he was bike-riding, and complaining that shoes are expensive as one of the reasons he shouldn't do that. So he was afraid I would be angry because "shoes are expensive" if he told me he was outgrowing his shoes.

You have to be very careful when giving instructions to children with under-developed social skills, and try to think of all the exceptions that might apply before you give them hard and fast rules - or the child might be in a situationjust like this Boy Scout.

And, I am fairly sure the Boy Scout leader said something like "if you are lost, stay in one place and yell every so often, because people will be searching for you". But if the leader didn't explain just what being "lost" means, this boy might not have understood that he was "lost".

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 07:42 am:

Thanks for the insight, Ginny. As someone with no experience in this area, I didn't think of it in quite that way.

By Kaye on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 07:51 am:

A few more details came out yesterday evening. I guess he saw the searches just one day later and hid from them. During the interview he crouched down by mom's legs. She said he only thinks he was missing a day or two. thanksfully he was found okay.

By Debbie on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 09:05 am:

I saw an interview on the Today show this morning. His mother said that all he thought about was two things that they always told him, "stay on the trail if you get lost" and "don't talk to strangers" So, he would walk on the trail and then hide when searchers would get close. She said that his mind works that way. He couldn't think through that he needed to stay on the trail to be found.

I am just so happy they found him.

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 09:21 am:

I am sure at some point the parents, either directly or through a counselor, will have some questions as to whether there was any possibility of molestation or abduction, but I am inclined to doubt that happened, mostly because the boy was so careful not to go near any stranger.

When my son went off with his Boy Scout troop for a week's camping when he was about 10, I told him he was never to go to any place where he could not see at least two other scouts or scout leaders UNLESS his troop leader told him to. And the troop leader made sure all the boys had whistles, with instructions that if someone got separated when they were in the wood, the person who was separated should start blowing his whistle. I thought this was a great precaution.

By Kaye on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 09:33 am:

I find it so weird that they aren't pushing him. I know he is different and you have to take that into consideration. BUT with any other child to hid from searchers (adults) and then say he stayed lost because "mom said not to talk to strangers" would come off like he feels like whatever happened to him was his fault, maybe he did make the decision to talk to a stranger. I work with special needs kids a lot and I know they aren't predictable, but something just doesn't quite sit right about the story.

By Debbie on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 12:40 pm:

Kaye, have you thought that maybe they have talked to him and they just don't want to share it with the media? I know that if something like that happened to my child, I would want to keep it as private as possible. Maybe, they have talked to him, but just aren't sharing it with us. Also, I thought that they said on the interview this morning that they weren't pushing him for details. Maybe, they know generally what happened, but aren't pushing for more now.

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 12:50 pm:

Good point, Debbie!

By Kaye on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 10:39 am:

Good point debbie, it is possible. Inquiring minds want to know though And really although it is none of my business, it just kind of raises my hackles a little. I feel like there is more to the story.

By Breann on Friday, July 29, 2005 - 05:55 pm:

Didn't read the other posts, but wanted to mention that in the articles I read, it was stated that the child is autistic and has other mental delays. While not retarded, he is significantly slower.

Ditto Debbie. I'm sure the family knows what's going on, but that doesn't mean they are going to run to the media and let all of us know as well. Even if we would like to know!