Ok, thie "boy" is 22 now, and they are planning to wed in April. This really isn't a debate, but I wanted to post it here in case there were strong feelings about it. I'm really just dumbfounded at how a grown woman could act like this. **shaking my head in disbelief**
Wedding Plans

By Dawnk777 on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 04:56 pm:

Good grief! Why does she want to marry someone young enough to be her son? I don't get it.

By Alberobello on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 06:32 pm:

I don't know what to say really. But he doesnt seem to mind, does he? He was supposed to be the victim and now he wants to marry her. What i didn't like about this story is that she had sex with him while being married and had children. But if he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, there must be something...

Please, don't get me wrong, i'm not saying this is right (i don't know the whole story either) and i am not sure this is love either, but he is a grown up man now and must know what he is doing (or maybe he is under a spell...)

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 06:47 pm:

This kid is my age, and she is older than my mother. That's twisted enough. The fact that she cheated on her husband is horrible, but the worst thing is the kid was 12 at the time. You really have to have problems if you have sex with a 12 year old. Such a shame!

By Kernkate on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 07:16 pm:

Unbelievable.

By Missmudd on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 08:27 pm:

She is a sex offender right? If they marry what about their kids? She cant be near children as a paroled sex offender. Are the kids in the custody of the boy? I know she spent many years in prison so who has custody of their children?

By Mommmie on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 09:01 pm:

The dad's mother is raising the two girls.

I think it's a pretty interesting story.

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 09:02 pm:

The boy's mom raises their kids. I wonder if she is allowed near her children from her marriage? I've seen pictures of her holding one of her babies (with him), maybe it's an exception if they are your own.

By Reds9298 on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 09:42 pm:

The fact that a grown woman wants to/did have sex with a 12yr old boy is beyond my imagination. In my opinion she has serious problems. On the other hand, he is a grown person now and it floors me that he still wants to marry/be with her! When this all happened I remember thinking 'oh what will this boy think/feel about thsi situation once he's a grown-up'. I guess not much differently!!! The whole case is simply STRANGE and a psychological mystery if you ask me. I feel badly for all of the poor children involved.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, February 14, 2005 - 10:26 pm:

At 44, almost 45, 12yo boys just don't appeal to me in that way. They are still kids! 12year olds are Emily's classmates! ewww!

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 04:10 pm:

As a teacher, I'm certainly in disbelief. I've taught boys that age and I wanted to run the other way many times! She's needs psychological help, for sure. What could a 12 yr old boy offer to an "adult" female? It's just sick and wrong.

By Jewlz on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 06:45 pm:

from what i read in the past the young man has had many psychological problems while she was locked up on prison. drugs alcohol and emotional all have lead to him being sent to instution to help him. Hisp family wasnt the ideal family either. He swears that she is the only one that understands him. she probably cant dfind someone else that will have her after all the publicity so she will make this work in spite of all the world against her. i agree the teacher /student affair and at such a young age is very disguisting

By Jewlz on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 06:49 pm:

this is in the article from the firtst poster "the couple has been trying to keep wedding details a secret. Details are yet to be completed, but plans call for their daughters to be flower girls, " I guess the kids can be around her.

By Frasersmama on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 08:28 pm:

The thing is, would this even be a debate if it was a male teacher who'd had sex with a twelve year-old female student? Just because the victim is now an adult, it is common for molested children to "idolize" or think they are in love with their molestors. Their perspective is certainly skewed.

By My2cuties on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 08:36 pm:

Most definitely it would be an issue If it were a male teacher and female student. This happened in my school when I was a senior in HS. The teacher is in Jail now.

By Frasersmama on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 09:59 pm:

What I mean is, would we be discussing whether it is ok for them to get married if the adult female molestation victim seemed "ok with it"? It would not be a debate because everyone would call a male who did this a pedophile, but since it is a woman we seem to want to cut her a little more slack, does that seem ok?

By Wells on Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 01:55 am:

Nope, it is not OK. However, they are both now adults, so whether it is OK or not, I think that (at this point) we (the people) don't have a right to intervene. This is not an exact analogue, but (if I remember right) recall that Woody Allen married his adopted daughter....that is not OK either, however.....

By Dandjmom on Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:32 am:

Crystal,
I dont' think it is an exception when they are your own children. Speaking from an expercience that just happended with a close family firend and her husband ( he didn't touch the children or anythign of that nature, but was seen touching himself) this happend in NC and he was forced to move out of the house and charges where pressed against him by the state's Child Protection Agency, and while they where awaiting trial he was nopt allowed to be alone with his own kids

Sorry for the longness, but I dont' really know what to say about this because I can't actually wrap my mind around it to even begin to comprehend any of it.

By Paulas on Saturday, June 4, 2005 - 10:23 pm:

Well, they have finally wed.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, June 5, 2005 - 07:43 am:

No kidding?!? Geez..............

By Dana on Sunday, June 5, 2005 - 07:52 am:

As for this couple? I don't have a say on their choices. My debate is how the media has made it seem like such an romantic love story. Where on earth are they getting the money for such a huge wedding? And the gifts they have gotten from the public. That is sick too.

In other relationships, Celine Dione (sp?) married the man who loved her since she was a young teen. They say he never made advances at that age, but still he says he knew from the moment he met her. Same goes for Randy Travis, but I think they were involved when he was young.

By Crystal915 on Sunday, June 5, 2005 - 01:28 pm:

Why isn't she arrested? Part of her parole was that she was never to see him again. Legal age or not, the parole said "never".

By Bobbie~moderatr on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 01:03 am:

Crys, if she was a man she would be... Are you sure there was a no contact order on her last release?

By Crystal915 on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 01:46 am:

I don't know where I read that, but I recently did read an article about the wedding that said that. Who knows, really. Either way, I cannot believe how many people are supportive of this, I'm sure most of their "friends" didn't approve back when this all happened.

By Happynerdmom on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 09:13 am:

According to this article from Court TV,( Article ) there was a no-contact order, but since the boy was the victim, as an adult he could petition the court to have it lifted, which he must have done?

By Colette on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 09:40 am:

He had it lifted 8/2004.

By Crystal915 on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 11:21 am:

I did find an article on it late last night, saying the same thing. **sigh** Makes you wonder about the judge who lifted it.

By Alberobello on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 12:25 pm:

But he asked for it to be lifted, and he is an adult now. So, could it be that they really love each other? Whatever happened, happened a long time ago, and now that he is an adult he has decided that after all he wants to be with her. That is what i have understood about the story. i am not sayign that whatever they did was right but it happened and she went to jail for it, is she not allowed to a bit of happiness? she is not forcing him again to do anything, it is he who wants to be with her (just like Mary KAy wants to be with him). They have two children together, i think they deserve to be left alone.

By Happynerdmom on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 12:31 pm:

Ditto Maria.

By Mommmie on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 05:12 pm:

I guess now that they are married what society considered a crime was really a love story.

By Frasersmama on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 05:43 pm:

I still don't believe ANYONE would be referring to this as a love story if it had been a male teacher having sex with a 12 year old female student and impregnating her twice!

By Alberobello on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 06:11 pm:

Maybe Karen but in my opinion it is a little bit different. I read this on the link Michele (happynerdmom) posted above and i agree with it.

It is harder for women to rape men merely because of the fact that men have to be aroused to have sex. I mean if a man has sex with a minor, it can be regarded as rape because it is easier for the man to force sex to a girl (or woman) than a woman to a man. Plus if he gets the girl pregnant it would be her who would be carrying the pregnancies, it would have been the victim that would have to leave school and all the rest. In Mary Kay's case she didn't rape him (as he repeatedly said that he agreed to have sex with her) and she had to go thorugh the preganancies, not him. And he still wants to be with her.

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 06:32 pm:

Maria, I don't agree. It is extraordinarily easy to arouse most men, and particularly adolescent and teenage boys.

He may well have "agreed" to have sex with her, but he was 12 years old, for pete's sake, and she was a grown woman. She knew she was wrong, she knew it was wrong, and she did it anyway. To say that she was "in love" with him is an excuse, not a reason. A 12-13 year old boy doesn't know from bupkiss about love - he is excited, flattered, and, given his age, eager to venture into what he knows is a forbidden relationship.

He might not have known better - having raised 3 sons, I can easily believe that - but she did. She was his teacher, in a position of authority, and deliberately and knowingly did something that was not only against the law, but also a violation of all of the principles by which teachers are supposed to live in terms of their relationships with their students.

Had the genders been reversed, I doubt anyone would have thought twice about whether or not it was rape and wrong. What if it had been Father Letourneau and confirmation class Villi? In my opinion, she was a child molester, and perhaps is a pedophile - an adult seducing and having sex with a child.

And, just a few weeks after her trial and release on probation with a court order to keep away from him, she was caught having sex with him in the back of a car, and was pregnant with a second child by him.

From what I have read, this young man has been in and out of counseling and is emotionally fairly unstable.

You have a son, Maria. How would you feel if this happened in his life? I know I would be ready to kill!

By Alberobello on Monday, June 6, 2005 - 07:07 pm:

I know Ginny, i said earlier that what she did was not right. However, this -now- man wants to be with her. All the time even when she was in jail he kept saying that he was not a victim.

I believe that at different times in history there are stories like this and that people are different, not every single woman who fancies a teenager is asexual predator. And i am not scandalised by it. I don't know why, i don't see her as a paeophile because at the end he too wants to be with her. So in my opinion he might have been an extremely precocious 12 yo and her an extremely weak 42 yo but to me there was passion in what they were doing. I don't celebrate it but i do believe that if after all these years they want to be together then it must be for a reason.

I know that a 12 yo boy is still a boy, but while i think that at 12 a person is still a child i also think there are exceptions and that some teenagers are different to others and while the ideal would be for children to be children for as long as possible the reality is that some children do grow up faster than others.

I know i am the minority here but i don't understand why people are so outraged about them being together now that he is a grown up man. If he doesn't know what he is doing now well at least he has the power to decide. I say let them be, all people are different. This woman didn't go seducing other children in her classroom. She was obviously infatuated with him (is it with or by? I never know how to use these words) and she still is. But so is he.

I mean for people to have say that they should "never" have contact is ridiculous. He wanted to see her and thank godness he could lift the judge's decision otherwise they would have to hide forever, even when she is 60 and he is 40! Can you imangine if he couldn't have lifted the order?

For what i have said about being easier for a man to force sex into a girl i still think it is but that is another story. Nevertheless, when they first had sex it was him to made the first move, so i son't think she even had to seduce him then.

And no, of course i wouldn't want this to happen to my son and i always pray that he is always safe from harm. What i have understood from the story is that not even Villi's mum was against it but i'll check that again. I mean people live different lives and i find it very patronising that people still condemn what they did even if they themselves are fine with it.

By Feonad on Tuesday, June 7, 2005 - 07:16 am:

I wonder if they will get custody of the two kids?

By Kaye on Tuesday, June 7, 2005 - 08:05 am:

I think one thing that makes us outraged is how mnay spouses stay with their abusing husbands? How many children who are abused lie in court to protect their parents. Children love unconditionally, no matter what I do to my kids they will still love me. That is how I feel about this. He was abused, but to say that is hard and it is the easy way out to stay in there.

Maybe she loves him. I have an almost 12 year old daughter, she doesn't even think about love and the future, heck she can barely plan the next day. Certainly it never crosses her mind to have sex.

I have a friend with a 13 year old son. He masturbates, she caught him at the pool experimenting with the jets..lol. They are a different breed. He would have sex with an older lady in a heartbeat I am afraid, because it would feel good. But does he get the concept of love? Doe he really get that she could get pg?

No he didnt' have to carry a baby, but he does have financial responsibilty for the rest of his life. Can you imagine buying a car when you were 18 (much less 12) that you would have to pay for the rest of your life?

I think it is appauling and sending the wrong message for these two to be together.

However, for the sake of their children I hope that as an adult he is able to fall in love with her and that she continues to receive psychological help for the rest of her life.