Speaker Promotes Stripping to 8th Graders
Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): Speaker Promotes Stripping to 8th Graders
Speaker Promotes Stripping to 8th Graders
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By BILEN MESFIN
The Associated Press
SAN FRANCISCO - The principal of a Palo Alto middle school may not invite a popular speaker back to an annual career day after he told girls they could earn a good living as strippers.
Management consultant William Fried told eighth-graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School on Tuesday that stripping and exotic dancing can pay $250,000 or more per year, depending on their bust size.
"It's sick, but it's true," Fried said in an interview later. "The truth of the matter is you can earn a tremendous amount of money as an exotic dancer, if that's your desire."
Fried has given a popular 55-minute presentation, "The Secret of a Happy Life," at the school's career day the past three years. He counsels students to experiment with a variety of interests until they discover something they love and excel in.
But school principal Joseph Di Salvo said Fried may not be back next year.
The principal said Fried's comments to the class came after some of them asked him to expand on why he included "exotic dancing" on his list of 140 potential careers.
Fried spent about a minute answering questions, defining strippers and exotic dancers synonymously. According to Jason Garcia, 14, he told students: "For every 2 inches up there, you should get another $50,000 on your salary."
"A couple of students egged him and he took it hook, line and sinker," said Di Salvo, who also said the students took advantage of a substitute teacher overseeing the session.
"It's totally inappropriate," Di Salvo said. "It's not OK by me. I would want my presenters to kind of understand that they are coming into a career day for eighth-graders."
That stripping advice wasn't the only thing that riled parents. Di Salvo said one mother said she was outraged when her son announced that he was forgoing college for a field he loves: fishing.
"He really focused on finding what you really love to do," said Mariah Cannon, 13.
Fried, 64, said he does not think he offended any of the students: "Eighth-grade kids are not dumb," he said. "They are pretty worldly."
What do YOU think???
Edited
As the mother of a 7th grader, I can tell you that those kids knew what a stripper was... And I would bet money that no matter what you do your dd will know what a stripper is by that age too. Is it wrong for him to include that suggestion in his talk? Yes, but it is also morally wrong to expose our children to half the things we allow to be seen, heard etc... What do you think should be done???? A town flogging?? The article said he wouldn't be asked back to speak. Strippers aren't going to go away. This morals vrs sinners debate has gone on for centuries. The man messed up, that is for sure. But they can't do anything about him stating a fact. It isn't like he pulled out pictures.
I think if my daughter came home telling me about that happening I would have had a great chuckle (I can just imagine the fun such a talk would have brought to a boring day of grade 8 when I was younger).
I know it's more the thing to get outraged about things like this but wouldn't it be a switch if parents instead took the opportunity to have a really good discussion about what they believe about the issue of stripping and such? About the consequences of baiting the man into discussing it? I think we'd do better to stop worrying so much about sheltering our kids from things and start using opportunities like this man presented to communicate with our kids and offer our perspective.
As for the kid that announced he wanted to fish instead of go to college, if he can support himself and have a happy life doing that, good for him. 
Extremely inappropriate, however, from observing middle schoolers, this will be a quickly forgotten issue unless it gets continually brought up by adults.
Your child, unfortunately, will be exposed to these issues as she gets older, whether you put her into a private religious school or not. The most important things you can do, is to instill a strong sense of self respect and self confidence in her. You don't have to be religious to know the difference between right and wrong. Teach her to grow up to be a good moral person. Make sure she really respects and looks up to both you and your dh, and when confronted with choices as she gets older, she will be more likely to make the right decisions. This is especially important as she becomes a teenager but it needs to start when she is young.
I don't ness. think it is unfortunate that kids get exposed to these things. I would MUCH rather my daughter hear about a possible career in stripping when she's 8 or 10 or 12 when I'm right there with her willing to talk about it and discuss all the issues surrounding it. There's an attitude that we should shelter kids and protect their innocence these days but I think a lot of us just end up fostering ignorance about issues our kids will face as adults instead, leaving them ill equiped and inexperienced when they hav to make decisions without us.
I sort of picked that 'unfortunate' comment and ran with it Collette but I realize it was out of context and you're not advocating the sheltering that I was railing against.
I would have been surprised that exotic dancing was mentioned as a possible career choice to 8th graders (but also think it was pretty funny---most 8th girls are so perplexed and embarrassed by bodily changes that they wouldn't dream of taking this guy seriously) and I would have probably emailed the principal "for the record", although the principal really had nothing to do with it. It wouldn't really be a big deal to me.
As for "another reason for my DD to attend a religeous private school when she gets older!". Well, my kids go to a private Christian school. This is NOT by choice as we would prefer that they go to public schools. However, in Baton Rouge public schools are not an option (i.e., they run out of paper before the end of the year due to lack of funding). There is a k-12 accredited school at the church where my DH is a minister. All ministers' kids are expected to go to school there and it is, in fact, part of my DH's salary. Although tuition is "free" ($4500 per yr per child) we are still taxed on it as if it were income.
Christians are supposed to be IN the world, just not OF the world. Meaning that we are to fully participate in secular occurrences, but live and respond differently to these events than the secular world does (i.e., loving the unlovable, going the extra mile, turning the other cheek, and all those types of cliches). My DH and I, as Christians, both chose to attend state universities and we were involved in fraternities/sororities where a lot of bad behavior went on. We just chose not to participate in it.
Also, if you think that a Christian school is a nice insulated environment, think again! Our Christian school (the 3rd largest non-Catholic religious school in the US) has long had a reputation for drugs and alcohol and it very much still exists although there are other schools in the area who are now "out-partying" ours. And there is plenty of sexual activity occurring as well, esp, among this year's senior class. Why does this happen? Well, many of the kids sent to Christian schools are sent because of bad behavior and parents think it will be a big wake-up call. Many of the students at our school do not follow any particular religion at all and are just there because it is one of the best college-preparatory/academic schools in town. And many good *moral* Christian kids get put in awkward situations and hormones, peer pressure, etc. take over and they make mistakes. Sure there is mandatory chapel every Wednesday and prayer is allowed and encouraged at school, but a lot of it is fake spirituality. It drives my DH insane because he is concerned that many students are getting innoculated against real Christianity by getting enough small shallow doses via school---that it will prevent them from ever catching "the real thing." All this to say, please don't ever look to a "religious" school to help in the journey to morality and good behavior (which personally, I don't feel Christianity is about anyway). It's a scary world out there indeed and at SOME point everyone will be in it and needs to be equipped to deal with it.
I went to public highschool, but I spent all of my time with my goody-goody Christian friends who were the leaders of our class---Homecoming queen, SGA president, Mr. and Mrs. NHS, etc. came from this group. We didn't smoke, drink, cuss, sneak out, cheat, or have sex. Although I was put into a couple of awkward dating situations where I literally had to fight off a guy and was ultimately broken up with because I wouldn't sleep with him, regarding drinking and all I was VERY innocent (except for a brief drinking adventure in 10th grade on a school trip to Europe). Imagine my shock on my first weekend beach retreat with a college club I was in and that was the first time I really encountered underaged drinking. I dealt with the situation just fine, but it was initially very awkward for me because I was one of 2 freshman with 14 other upperclassman. At some point we'll all be confronted with those decisions, whether in 9th grade, junior year of college, or the first year on the job. I don't look to school to parent my children or teach them "the secret to a happy life." We do that at home and part of teaching that is teaching how to interact with those who think differently.
I think we'd do better to stop worrying so much about sheltering our kids from things and start using opportunities like this man presented to communicate with our kids and offer our perspective.
Dawn, I couldn't agree more!
Melissa, upon re-reading my post I think that the tone can be misinterpreted (i.e., "Also, if you think that a Christian school is a nice insulated environment, think again!"). That seems a little sarcastic and it was not meant to. I was just really trying to convey the idea that Christian schools really aren't what most people think that they are. And...there is plenty of good in them. If I thought my children were in utter depravity then they would not go there regardless of it being free. They have some great teachers, wonderful friends, and they are learning a lot. It's just not all sunshine and blessing at a Christian school either
Pam, don't worry. I was in school not that long ago and most of my friends who went to private school were the trouble makers, drug addicts and everything else. Mostly because they came from wealthy homes where both parents had careers and didnt watch their children. But others reasons too.
I only made the "religeous school" comment because i'm hoping that by having my DD go to a school where she CAN pray and CAN say the Pledge of Allegiance and the bible IS okay to bring to school, all these positive experiences will only help her to learn the "right" way as opposed to the "worldly" way. Its just another step I want to take to help her walk down the right path. I have no plan of sheltering her and no plan of letting her run wild. I hope by raising her the best way I know how, I will find that line that runs right in the middle of "sheltered" and "wild". Thats all!
Pam, thank goodness. I sometimes feel like I'm swimming against the current when I talk about that.
Well said, Pam.
I do think the speaker was out of line. Do the kids know what he was talking about, yep. Overall his message was a good one, find something you love doing. I hope that he took it the next step and explained no matter what choice you make there is higher education and it almost always helps you out in getting a job and then profitting from that job. Spend a few years investing in your future. I also hope he touched on you need to have a goal for the future and pick a career that matches that. For example, if my goal was to join a country club, play golf daily, etc being a teacher may not of been the best choice. Fishing probably won't make you a lot a money, but some people are very content with simple lives. It is all about matching your wants and desires with something you enjoy. But as far as his content as a parent I hope that I have talked with my kids enough about morals, values, college, job choices etc that they would find this talk amusing, but not serious. I feel like my dd in 5th grade already has that info. I would probably speak with our principle and say hey did you know what happened? I don't think outraged would have been my first emotional, although I will agree in was inappropriate.
Since Melissa editted I will too.
Your right Kaye, I edited out our conversation.
|
Members
