To cut, or not to cut...
Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): To cut, or not to cut...
I'm talking about plastic surgery, in light of Kanye West's mother passing away after cosmetic surgery. I've heard a lot of people say it's ridiculous that someone would risk their life for beauty, and I really think that is too broad of a statement. I'm not talking about Ms. West in particular, since we don't know the details surrounding her death, but your average person who undergoes an elective procedure. We've all heard of seemingly healthy adults who die from complications with cosmetic surgery, and it seems everyone says "Why would they do that, was being beautiful worth their life?" My problem with that is there are risks with any procedure, and having plastic surgery doesn't mean you are shallow, or want to be beautiful at any cost. I plan to have a tummy tuck after I'm done having children, because twins have left me with loose skin and weak ab muscles. I wouldn't have the surgery if the doctor thought there was an elevated risk, but I feel plastic surgery would greatly improve my quality of life. The people who have extreme amounts of surgery, or are addicted to it are being irresponsible, but is having a procedure to make you feel mentally better any less valuable than one that you physically need? If you died after having your gall bladder removed, would people think you were selfish for going through with the surgery? Any death is tragic, especially a premature one, but I hate backlash that comes after a death like Ms. West's. On a separate note, I do think the doctor performing the surgery has an obligation to ensure the patient is healthy enough, and Dr. Adams (in this case) sounds like he should have his license revoked.
There are risks getting in your car everyday. You just can't not live.
I know several people who have had plastic surgery. One had a breast reduction, she was 20 years old, it made such a huge difference for her. She was a slug before hand, wore baggy clothes and life was passing her by. She came down to a c cup and WOW, no one knew she had a body under those boobs, she because a very good athelete.
I would consider having a tummy tuck. It really has more to do with after kids my muscles have seperated, which means I have more back pain, not a strong core etc. So yeah losing the extra skin is a nice bonus, the muscle thing is what I look most forward to.
Crystal, I agree 100%
I thought I read that the doctor told her he wouldn't do it until she had further testing or something, because of a health issue she was dealing with, so she had it done with another doctor. Not wise.
My sister in law has had a breast reduction and a tummy tuck. She looked fabulous before she had those things done, but feels much better about herself now. I don't think she was wrong to do it, and might consider it myself one day....if I'm healthy enough and can afford it.
I honestly believe that if it is surgery to correct a defect, it should be done. Breast reduction, cleft palate, surgery to correct disfiguration from an accident, getting rid of loose skin after childbirth or losing a great amount of fat, any kind of corrective surgery should be fine.
My MIL for instance, should have a breast reduction. Her doctor is guessing that each breast might weigh about 20 pounds. It affects her sleep and she can't lie down flat. She may be able to have it deemed medically necessary.
But when a woman looks at herself in the mirror and says, "I just don't like the way I look" she is sadly missing the point of her true beauty.
"having plastic surgery doesn't mean you are shallow, or want to be beautiful at any cost."
True, but everything in moderation. The key is being able to love yourself and to tell yourself you're happy even if you have a baggy butt or an extra roll or wrinkle here and there.
"The people who have extreme amounts of surgery, or are addicted to it are being irresponsible, but is having a procedure to make you feel mentally better any less valuable than one that you physically need?"
The problem is that all it takes is one. The people who get addicted to it begin with just one simple procedure and when they don't get the mental fix that they thought they would get from it so then they want another one. It's sort of like cleaning. You clean the floor and you realize that the walls are dirty. You clean the walls and see that the windows are dirty. Once a woman "fixes" something about her body that she thinks is wrong, she could just go on to find something else that's wrong and needs to be corrected.
"If you died after having your gall bladder removed, would people think you were selfish for going through with the surgery?"
Well, wouldn't a gall bladder surgery be like a matter of medical necessity? I don't think that comparison qualifies.
"Dr. Adams (in this case) sounds like he should have his license revoked."
DITTO!
Hhhmmm...very good post to start this off Cyrstal!!
For me personally, I'm 99.9% sure that I would never have anything done. I'm happy enough with my body that it doesn't need any drastic changes. The things I would like to change about it however, I know that I have the power to change with diet and exercise. That's empowering to me. I am noticing the wrinkles in my face more and more ALL the time. It bugs me, without a doubt, but I guess I just feel then that I have to take more precautions in the sun, never forget my wrinkle cream , and take extra good care of my skin. I tell myself that THIS is what aging looks like, and regardless of how many surgeries I might get to change my appearance, I'M STILL GETTING OLD.
Those are just how I feel about plastic surgery for ME. I do not feel any judgements toward people that do opt for plastic surgeries, whether they are really mor e"necessary" (sagging gut after multiple babies) or just to keep up with the 'hottie' next door. For people that I see that have continual cosmetic surgeries and seem 'addicted' to it, I don't feel judgement but sadness instead.
Throughout all of this I also can't help but think that the importance society puts on beauty, perfection, and youth are a major driving force behind what seems like "everyone" wants to have something done. How can it not be tempting? All we see are beautiful people in the media - commercials, TV shows, movies, magazines. The child models at Target are perfection and the children's clothing is adult. So much emphasis is placed on what beauty is and I admit that it gets to me at times as well. It's hard to remember sometimes what beauty is when the idea of fake beuaty is all around us.
Having said ALL of that , I also have to add that I can't say I've ever had a physical 'imperfection' that was so undesirable to me that I felt that changing it would improve my quality of life. If I think of my most undesirable part - my legs, how much I've hated them over the years - I still would rather strive to change them through diet and exercise. They will NEVER look like beautiful women's legs because I don't have the genes, but they can look great for ME because I make them change in some way through what *I* do. Again, that's really empowering to me.
PS: With regard to breast reduction, I find that to be medically necessary.
I've *thought* about having a couple of things done.........*thought*, as in *wished-I-could-do-it* LOL.
To be honest, one of them is breasts. I would never do p**n star silicon implants, but I would love a little extra and a boost, however, with my health issues, I wouldn't put something foreign in my body, I just KNOW I'd have problems with it. But my reasons for wanting it are that when you get down to it, I feel self conscious about the way mine look, both in and out of clothes. Yes, it would help my feelings about my body, but is it absolutely critical for me to have it? No. I'd LIKE to have nice breasts, but I know that I will never do that.
I really don't see anything wrong with having procedures if they truly help you feel better about yourself - in moderation.
The one thing I WOULD like to do is get my nose done - and it's NOT just for aesthetic reasons. My nose has been broken twice, I have a deviated septum, and there is just not much air flow through one side of my nose. Sometimes it's problematic for me. And even before it was broken, it's always had this *hump*. Will I ever do it? Probably not - because I'm terrified of the procedure.
I do know a couple of people who appear to be addicted to cosmetic surgery. They are constantly changing things, one of them does it to hold on to a husband who wants a Barbie for a wife, and I think that is just ridiculous, because no matter how much she has done, if he decides to stray or leave, he will do it no matter what she's had done.
Karen,
I want a nose job too, I've got a bump in my nose, and while my breathing problems are not too bad, it would make me feel better about myself. I probably will not have rhinoplasty, only because it freaks me out a little.
However, my statement about the gall bladder, some people have their gall bladder removed not because it's life and death, but it will lead to a better quality of life. For example, a friend of mine had his out because of GERD, it certainly wasn't going to kill or debilatate him, but it was making everyday life miserable. Well, my tummy makes me miserable in everyday life, and even though that is a mental pain instead of a physical one (back issues aside) I think my mental health is worth having major surgery.
My answer is no. I have had enough medically necessary surgeries that I will never put my body though an elective surgery. Everytime I have had a necessary surgery, I have prayed that I will wake up from the anesthesia so I can see my children again and they won't have to live without a mother. I'm terrified of something going wrong. It takes such a huge toll on your body each and every time.
In fact, a medically necessary gall bladder surgery done laproscopicly is what disabled me six years ago. The surgery went without a hitch, but the stress from it, combined with some other stressors, caused by body to go into chaos. It screwed up my autonomic system and set off numerous other problems. I'm still disabled, and I still have to take medication for several problems.
Yes, this is a very dramatic example, but it's just to show you never know how your body will react.
That was a necessary surgery. I threw up several times a day every single day for four months till I had the surgery. There was no way around it. But I hate to think how guilty I would feel if I had elected to have the surgery to make myself look better and ruined the quality of life my children had during the years we didn't know if I was dying or not. It's just not worth it to me.
And, this is coming from someone that is totally unsatisfied with her body. I had the body of a model (besides stretch marks on my butt!) even after having both children. However, after getting sick, my body totally rebelled against me and now I have large thighs and butt, and a poochy stomach, and can't lose weight. Even when I have my spells of not being able to eat, I still don't lose weight. Most of it is fluid, but the doctors can't figure out why. I'm down to a much healthier weight now, but not where I want to be.
So the answer for me is easy. I will never elect to have surgery to make my body look better. The mental anguishes that come from being disabled and from not being able to play with your children, drive a car, cook dinner...those far outweigh any issues I have with how I look.
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