I read Shelly's post on welfare and birth control, and it reminded of something along the same lines, but a little different. My FIL and his wife have adopted 3 girls. Two are sisters biologically. They adopted them from a program called Minnesota's Waiting Children. Basically, what this program does is helps children who are in foster care be adopted. You do not have to pay anything to adopt these children, so many parents find this to be much more attainable than traditional adoption. You can be a single parent, married, gay, old, young, etc. They don't really care as long as you can prove that you will provide these kids with a loving stable home. Before you adopt any kids you have to take classes on parenting, have interviews with family members, be observed by social workers, etc. The only problem with these kids that make them "not perfect" is that these kids are either taken out of their homes because their birth parents lost rights to them or they were abandoned because of medical issues. Therefore, many of these children have intense emotional issues on top of normal childhood issues. Of the three kids that my in-laws adopted the two sisters have fetal alcohol syndrome and ADHD. The other girl they adopted was born addicted to crack and was premature. What makes me angry is this: The two sisters were born into a family of eight children. At the time they were adopted their biological mother was pregnant. ALL of her other eight children were taken away due to neglect, and her drinking and drug problem. When my in-laws inquired about possibly adopting her ninth child they were told that she would not lose rights to this child until she actually did something to cause harm to this child. Hello!!! Isn't losing rights to eight other children enough?!! Did they really think she was going to miraculously change into a responsible mother? It really disgusts me that they would knowingly allow a child to be put in harms way like that. I know that the government can't do this, but if you ask me THESE are the people who should be put on mandatory birth control. Why should they be allowed to keep having children when they have already lost rights to and in many cases ruined the lives of all their other children? ARGH!!! What do you think?

By Karen55 on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 11:06 am:

I hear you and I agree with you 100%, but realistically you can't force someone to take birth control. This is such a huge issue, and I don't know what the solution is.

By Marcia on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 12:34 pm:

I guess laws are different there. In Ontario, the Children's Aid will take that newborn baby right away, and place it in foster care. The baby might not become a crown ward until after mom is given some time to clean up her act (not sure), but I know the baby would not leave the hospital with her.

By Beth on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 03:08 pm:

It must be different from state to state also. I have worked in foster care and have seen it both ways. I have seen them take the newborn immediately and I have also seen them give the mother a chance. I think it should depend on the case. I had a mom when I was doing it that had a baby and i felt fine with her going home with the baby. She had made her mistakes and was in the process of getting her life back together and was doing a good job of it. But I also know that with some clients I would have had a coneption if they had a child and were allowed to keep it. I am sure that she was set up with a caseworker that is following up with that baby at home. She may even be involved in a very strict program where she has to show she is making progress. We call it family first here and the family is kept together with a caseworker working with them several times a week. The parent has to do what is asked or the child will be removed. It sounds like a very sad case that you are talking about it. I hope it works out for the baby. As far as the birth control goes. It would be nice but I would not want the government to have that much control.

By Juli4 on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 03:58 pm:

I do not want the government controlling my birth control methods if and when I decide to use it. You see enforced birth control is a temporary fix. What next if birth control fails mandatory abortion?! and then what after 2 or 3 kids all children after that is to be aborted and you have to pay for it. What a boom that would be for abortion clinics. Not only would they be getting more business but they would have security knowing that they would always be in business. And so giving the fovernment more control is not the answer. I am not sure what exactly the answer is, but I am not interested in letting in government any more than I have to . Amazingly ol Uncle Sam is not our saviour for all problems. We need to start looking other places for answers other than the government. I am not some paranoid anit governemnt freak like I sound but that is dangerous ground lettting them control families. Sounds kinda like China huh?!

By Semperspencer on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 05:20 pm:

I agree Juli.

By Jtw on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 08:40 pm:

I know that the government cannot mandate birth control, and I don't really want them to have that much control over our lives either. I just think it sucks that there are a whole lot of people who lose rights because they don't take care of the kids they already have, and then they keep having more! It just makes me mad. I feel sorry for those kids.

By Annie2 on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 09:30 pm:

In our country you have to pay for a license for EVERYTHING...except to have a child. ie:
fishing, camping, hunting, driving, a business, build an addition, marriage, owning a bike, a dog...but not to have a baby. Why is that?
Also, I am tired of celebrities donating their $$$ and efforts for poor kids in other countries. Help the kiddies in the USA!

By Juli4 on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 09:50 pm:

I too think that it is horribly sad that women have babies they don't want or take care of. Sadly my sister ended up in foster care at 13 becasue my mother is a drug addict. So I am not oblivious to the pain that comes from families and mothers not wanting their children. She is now a mess and 17 and yearning for my mothers love and acceptance. I just wouldn't want to pay for someone elses horrible choices and actions. Just becasue my mother didn't want us doesn't mean I don't want my children and I don't want anyone telling me I have too many.

By Marcia on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 09:58 pm:

The difference is, the kids in those other countries are literally dying of starvation every day. In North America the gov't will step in and help out. Even if the kids don't have the high standard of living we might want for them, most of them are not living in ditches, dying of starvation and disease.

By Mommyathome on Friday, August 22, 2003 - 05:35 pm:

Annie, I agree 100% with your post

And Jtw I can't believe that lady was going to have another baby. Hopefully the social workers are on her case from day 1.