I don't know if we have discussed this topic yet or not, but I just want to see how others feel about tipping. First, I would like to say that I don't mean any disrespect toward any one here if they are a waitress/waiter. It is a very respectful job, and one of the hardest jobs a person can do . I know, because I was one for a few years ; and one of my best friends still waitressing at the same place ( for over 20 years now).It is because I have worked at some really nice restaurants, and saw first hand the amount of money they bring in, that I realized how wrong it is that they get by with paying their waitresses way less than minimal wage ( here in Tn they pay them $2.13 an hour !)and then the customers have to pay the rest of their wage's thru tips that we are EXPECTED to pay !! How did all this get started in rest. I wonder ? We go there to have a nice meal, and we pay for it at the end of our visit, which is what we are supposed to do.But we shouldn't have to pay for THEIR employee doing their job that they hired in to do.And, not too long ago,it was on the news that the price of tipping had gone up from 10% to 15% !! I can see, if someone does something nice for you and you want to reward them with a tip,because you WANT to.But ,you are EXPECTED to tip each time you eat out. The other day, my DH was leaving the rest. that he and his co-workers eat at each day. He didn't leave a tip because a/ he was almost broke and b/ she was a horrible waitress .When he was at the cash register waiting to pay, she came up to him and said , real hateful,"WHERE'S my money !" and held out her hand !!!!!! He was so ticked, and he let her know. I told him he should have reported her, but he said it wouldn't do any good.I just believe that rest. should pay their employees a good wage and not expect us to do it for them. How do yall feel?

By Kate on Thursday, June 28, 2007 - 09:29 pm:

I totally agree with you. I HATE tipping for ANYthing!! I think all people in the tipping profession should just be paid a decent and fair salary PERIOD. It should not be up to me to pay them to work when they are not employed by me. This really drives me bonkers. This is not the fault of the workers and is not directed at them. I'm sure most of them would prefer a real salary they could count on, too!

By Cocoabutter on Thursday, June 28, 2007 - 10:22 pm:

That waitress was totally out of line. I hope your dh complains to the owner of the rest.

I looked up some info on tipping and found this article on Wikipedia. In some instances, a service charge is added to the bill in place of a tip, so that a tip would not be expected. In the UK, tipping is strictly optional.

In the U.S. however, the Tip Wage Credit became legal in 1938 as part of the Fair Labor Standards Act which allowed employers to pay a substantially lower wage with the expectation that the rest of the wage would be made up with tips.

As far as the origins of tipping, it's hard to say. Here is an interesting analysis of tipping and what it really signifies. The author refers to tipping as a "paradox: formal yet informal, public yet private, commercial yet intimate, voluntary yet in reality so close to compulsory that most people, across the years, have little difficulty in remembering the times they felt compelled to leave no tip at all."

In this blog, the author did some research on the origin of tipping and notes that tipping came from our English heritage and after the Revolutionary War was actually frowned upon. He (or she) also goes into defining what a tip is and when it should be expected or given.

And here is a Letter lamenting the tip and its very existence. Comments are interesting.

Personally, I do think that people whose job it is to serve others do deserve a thanks in the form of a tip. I base it strictly on quality of service. The better the service, the bigger the tip. Lately, at every sit-down restaurant I have been to, the service has been excellent.

The server, however, has no right to expect any certain amount from the servee. They may have some misconceptions about the quality of their own service which would lead them to mistakenly believe that they deserve a tip when they do not, a fact that they may only be able to acknowledge if only they were on the receiving end of their own service.

I used to be a waitress and I can say that I totally sucked at it and I can say that those waitresses/waiters who are good at their jobs work very hard and should be compensated likewise. It's not really going to matter what they are paid by the employer. Say the employer paid them a full wage- then you would pay anyway in the form of higher dinner prices.

I also used to clean hotel rooms, and I can say that that is one job that definitely deserves more compensation than what is given, both in tips AND in wages. The area of hotel housekeeping is THE most important job in the entire company. Think about it- when you walk into a hotel room, what is the one thing that you look for? A clean room. Who is responsible for that? The lady with the cleaning cart who, 15 years ago when I was working at Holiday Inn, got paid a top wage of $5/hour. (I knew one lady who had been there for 15 years, and still was only paid $5/hour.)

On our recent trip to Ohio, I left a tip for the housekeeper on both days. ($2 was all I could afford, but I am sure she was glad to get that since most people don't think to tip housekeepers.)

By Dawnk777 on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 12:25 am:

We had such a good waitress at Applebee's tonight! I wish she could always be our waitress. She refilled drinks before they were empty, brought out our food promptly, took our order fairly soon after we got there. It was wonderful. I had no trouble giving her 50 cents more than 15%!

She was in stark contrast to a few other experiences we've had in the last year, at Applebees. We were in and out in 50 minutes tonight, but they weren't that busy. It was a whole lot better than the time we waited 70 minutes for our food, last July! LOL!

Which all reminds me, that I was going to email Applebees and tell them what good service we had tonight! Oh yeah, she also recognized us from previous visits and noticed that my DH wasn't with us, too!

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 06:29 am:

I don't like the idea of tipping either. But, I also don't like the "service" addition to restaurant bills when your party is more than a certain number of people, because I want the choice of how much to tip. I do tip, and because I live in/near a big city (Philadelphia), the rate for "excellent" service is 20%, which is what I tip my hardresser because she is the first person who could cut my hair in a flattering style that I can manage in 12 years.

That said, it is my understanding that when the service is lousy, one leaves a nickel or a few pennies, to give the message that no, you didn't forget to tip, but the service was lousy.

I wish waitstaff and other "service" persons were paid at least minimum wage, but I'll bet that waiters/waitresses who provide good service and get good tips like things the way they are. Think about it - a good waitress ought to be able to take care of at least 5 tables every hour, maybe more. If each table tips at least $2, that's $10 on top of the $2.13/hourly pay, much better than the minimum wage. In restaurants with high-price menus, where your bill will be $40-50 and up, tips can be fairly substantial by the end of the evening, even when they are divided with the busboys, etc.

When I get exceptionally good or exceptionally bad service, if at all possible I seek out a manager and say so. They are usually very surprised to receive reports of very good service - reports of bad service they get fairly often.

By Vicki on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 07:54 am:

I do tip and I usually tip very well, but I hate the idea of tipping. I agree that people should be paid by their employer and not me directly. They should do a good job and a tip should be for going above and beyond what is expected of them. Not for your normal run of the mill service or bad service for that matter.

I also think tipping in general has gotten so out of hand it is nuts. I see tip jars all over the place! You are asked or expected to tip everyone anymore.

What exactly consitiutes a "service"? Why should you be expected to tip a waiteress for taking you meal order, but not tip the girl at the bank who cashes your checks, makes deposits, pays your utliity bills etc?

By Karen~admin on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 09:38 am:

Ditto Vicki.

But, as Cocoabutter posted, if the wait staff is paid a higher wage, we'll pay for it anyway in the way of increased prices.

I generally tip 20% for VERY GOOD service. Service that is good, but not exceptional, I tip 15%. If my service isn't what I consider to *just OK*, I complain, and tip poorly.

As for my hairdresser, her prices are high enough, and I generally just tip a flat rate with her.

People who help with baggage @ airports/hotels - we tip $1.00 per bag.

I never tip cab drivers but I rarely take a cab anyway.

The tip jars drive me nuts though!

By Sandysmom on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 10:00 am:

15%? I heard that is is 20% now. I tip 20% unless it was bad service. Then I pay 10 - 15%. I am like you. I have wondered why people are EXPECTED to pay a tip in a restaurant. Especially at nice places where the food is expensive. But to me, I really don't mind as long as the service was good. This is what gets me; those tip jars at carry-out restaurants. I usually leave change in them, but to me, they're silly. I guess what happened is that someone wanted to leave a tip and they had no jar there, so hence the tip jar.

By Tarable on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 10:07 am:

If I had a waitress come up to me like Wanda's DH I would have found the manager immediately and told him.

I was a waitress for years and that was part of the deal. Sometimes you don't get anything or very little but if you are a good waitress you know others will make up for it.

It was like the old man that came in and ate lunch every Wednesday in my section of the place I worked.. I knew he wasn't ever going to give more than $.50. But I gave him the same service as I would have given the guy that always left a $5.00.

I hated relying on tips and that is why I found a different line of work.

But I also have been there and if I get good service I rarely leave less than 20%. But if the service was poor and I could tell it was just a lazy wait person I leave very little. Sometimes it isn't the waitpersons fault.

As far as other places that you tip I don't go to those often so I always ask others before I go what is customary.

I agree that we should do away with the tip and just raise their salaries.

By Happynerdmom on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 10:48 am:

If I were Wanda's dh, I would have gone straight to the manager, too. I don't mind tipping in restaurants, where they get way below min. wage, but I agree tipping has gotten out of hand. On vacation, you may as well just give money to everyone you see, lol! I must say, I was a waitress for years, and I would NOT be a waitress if I didn't get tips. You wouldn't be able to afford me on a "per hour" rate!!

By Cocoabutter on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 02:56 pm:

"What exactly consitiutes a "service"? Why should you be expected to tip a waiteress for taking you meal order, but not tip the girl at the bank who cashes your checks, makes deposits, pays your utliity bills etc?"

Speaking in terms of economics, we are talking about the Tertiary Sector of Industry.

"Services are defined in conventional economic literature as "intangible goods". According to some economists, the service sector tends to be wealth consuming, whereas manufacturing is wealth producing."

I also used to work at a gas station, a bank, and a service counter at a store. Occasionally people would offer a tip, but we were forbidden from accepting them.

The way I look at it, say at a bank or a gas station, you go to the counter to get service. At a restaurant, the service comes to you. The server is responsible for your every need. An extra napkin or fork, a refill of coffee or soda, steak sauce or ketchup. It is up to him/her to make sure that you never have to get out of your seat (unless of course it's to go potty) The same would apply to the bellboy or room service, the housekeeper or maid. The service comes to you.

However, that doesn't explain why I tip my hair stylist.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 03:54 pm:

What really annoys me is tip cups at more or less self-service store counters, or places like Dunkin' Donuts.

By Wandilu on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 04:30 pm:

Back 5 or 6 years ago I worked at L.A. Weight Loss as a councelor.I saw each of my clients 3 times per week.I weighed them, took their vital signs, and sat and talked with them about their weight program.I listened as they talked about their challenges,their disappointment's, and more times than not, I was able to encourage them to hang in there and keep trying.And when they did good, I very seriously showered them with praise. I did all this ,and more, for $8 an hour.One of my clients was a hairdresser, so I decided to give her a try. I really liked how she did my hair.But I didn't tip her.I anguished over it a bit.But I decided not to because,a/ she made WAYYYYY more money than I did. She worked in a very upscale salon in one of the most expensive areas of Nashville .Secondly, I saw her EVERY week ,3 times, and I gave her all of my attention and truely helped as she was going thru her weight loss (she had a few ups and downs, and she told me many times that my support thru it all was a big part of the reason that she finally met her goal). But ,there was never a tip ( not that I expected one.Just making a point ) So why should I be expected to tip her for my services that I recieved from her every 6 weeks ?

By Colette on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 04:39 pm:

Hairdressers usually either rent their chair from the owner of the salon or get a percentage of what they charge the customer. Some salon owners will charge the stylist for any chemicals used on their clients. I worked at two upscale salons that did this.

By Reds9298 on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 04:48 pm:

Haven't read all of the posts, but I personally tip 15% unless it's way over the top service and then I do 20%. I didn't know it was different! I hate tipping and think wait staff should just be paid a fair wage to begin with.

I thought tips for hotel housekeepers was only in upscale hotels. Isn't that silly that I think that way? I don't know why but I just thought that's the way it was. When we've stayed at high end places I leave a tip for the housekeeping, but not in your average hotel which is dumb on my part.

By Yjja123 on Friday, June 29, 2007 - 09:37 pm:

I hate tipping too but do it because it is "expected".
We generally tip 20% at a restaurant. If our drinks are never refilled (it has happened ) it goes down in %.
We tip housekeepers $5 per night.
The hair dresser is tipped a flat rate.
We tip $2 per bag at the port.
Vacations are nuts. It seems like every excursion you do a tip is expected. I understand some of it but when you have hired a person to take you somewhere (thus THEY are getting 100% of your $) a tip seems over and above.
I also cannot stand the tip jars at Dunkin Doughnuts, Starbucks, Etc. I really hate that if you pay by debit card the receipt has a spot for a tip---for take-out food. I left it blank once and the person added a tip! Now I put an x through it and circle the total.
On a side note--when my hubby was a service writer at a car dealership he made a lot of tips. He never expected them but certainly appreciated them. I would never have thought of tipping the service writer!

By Hol on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 04:17 am:

Here in RI, our sales tax is 7%. On top of that, we pay a "meal tax" for food eaten in a restaurant, and for take away. Most people here take the sales tax and double it as a calculator of how much to tip (14 - 15%). I usually tip 20% unless it is fair service, but even then, I leave 15%. I tip servers in restaurants, my hairdresser, my dog groomer, the kid at the car wash, etc.. Most of the time I DO put tips in the tip jars at Dunkin Donuts or Subway. Some service providers seem surprised and really grateful. Those people, I will tip each time I go in. If I get a teen-ager with zero manners and/or social skills, I won't tip.

It also gets out of hand in knowing whom to tip. The guy who comes to clean your furnace? The guys delivering furniture? Your auto mechanic?

I, too, wish we had the system that they have in England. They have very high VAT (Value Added Tax - like our sales tax), so tips are not expected. In fact, being a server there is a PROFESSION that they go to school for and take a great deal of pride in, too.

By Eve on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 08:26 am:

I always tip 20% or more if it's very good service. I also usually will toss in my change at Dunkin Donuts, but not if I use my debit card. When we were in England, people did tip, just not as much. In fact, DH's boss lives in London and we had a conversation about tipping. I think I definately overtipped at first, until at a Pub I was politely told I gave too much.

By Bellajoe on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 09:51 am:

I hate tipping too.

When we were in Vegas last year, we of course had to do a lot of tipping, the taxi cab, at the restaurant, at the hotel, etc, etc. So when we got home and took the shuttle bus back to our car we noticed that the shuttle bus driver would get the bags off the bus for the people when he dropped them at their cars and those people would tip him. My dh was SO TIRED of having to tip people, as soon as the bus stopped at our car he jumped up, grabbed our bags and was out of the bus in a split second. Then he said thanks to the driver. I was laughing so hard at how fast he got out LOL. It was comical.
The driver on the other hand was probably not to happy. LOL


I went for a girls getaway weekend last week and shared a hotel room with my SIL. Who I think goes a bit over board with tipping. We were not planning on having the girl clean our room, we were just going to put the "do not disturb" sign on the door. But the housekeeper was right out side our door when we opened it and asked if we needed more towels. I said yes. So then my SIL felt that we needed to let her clean our room and she put 4 dollars on the night stand for her. ??? I didn't get it.
I thought we could just take the towels and put the "do not disturb" sign out.

ALso, if you go to a breakfast buffet at a hotel and the waitress just brings you drinks, do you tip her?

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 10:15 am:

Bella, the problem with the waitress at the breakfast buffet is that she is probably paid the same lousy low wage the other waitstaff get, so yes, I would tip. I would guess that the tips for working the breakfast buffet are far lower than tips working other shifts or other areas, on top of the lousy pay scale.

By Enchens on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 12:03 pm:

Since the tipping conversation came up again, here's another scenario. I was talking to my MIL about weddings and parties and prices for things came up. The music, the catering, the bar for drinks. I was told that at my wedding, "we" picked up the entire tab, with some added fee or whatever, and then the bartender had a tip jar on the counter and expected our guests to tip! She thought that was rude and I thought that was odd. What do you all think?

By Tarable on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 12:49 pm:

I do find that a little odd too.. I was at a reception (last year) and everything including drinks were paid for and there was still a tip jar on the table. I am really close to the groom and he said that they actually tipped he bartender a large sum and he was VERY upset that the guy had the nerve to put a tip jar on the counter.. It always makes me feel like i have to put something in the jar if i get something.. even if it is already paid for... I feel that if the cost is covered by someone else and everything is supposed to be paid for that they should respect that and leave the tip jar at home or where ever. JMHO...

By Kaye on Tuesday, March 11, 2008 - 02:17 pm:

Speaking of vegas shuttles. Okay well our shuttle was running late, there was a huge group of us waiting. The driver got out, got everyone's luggage out, then helped each person (you know wanting tips), but in the meantime we were all waiting in line. So the guy in the front of the line put his suitcase in the back, then went to board the shuttle. WELL the driver had a fit, like none I have seen. He took the mans suitcase out, put everyone elses in, and almost didn't let him on the shuttle. he went on and on about noone loading his shuttle etc etc. He didn't get a tip from us. I paid 20 dollars for my shuttle trip, I am not allowed to load my own stuff, makes in all inclusive to me. At the airport if I get to choose how I handle my bags, I think that should be the case there too.

I HATE tipping. I do tip well, but I hate the whole expectation. I love built in tips.

I think tipping is appropriate when the salary dictates us to do so, but other than that I can do with out it!

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 - 10:48 am:

I'm with your dh on this, Kaye. And I think the shuttle company should have been notified. I know the drivers expect tips, but I'm sure they are paid a reasonable hourly wage.

By Kaye on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 - 04:02 pm:

Ginny, I did write a letter to the shuttle company. I thought the employee was terribly rude to the man, it made everyone on the bus uncomfortable. I think we would have all gotten off if we weren't all stressed for time!