I am one of the Anon's who post about not having a great marriage. I know there are several of us who post on marriage problems. I am the one who has posted that me and my husband have nothing in common, from disciplining the kids, to retirement, and that we live like roommates. I will say , after doing a lot of soul searching, that things are better. No, things have not turned around 100%, but I am trying a lot more. I have finally let myself be open to his affection, after so many months. What a difference it makes to get a nice hug and a kiss for no reason. I am talking more civil to him then I have in a long time. I started to take part in one of his interests at night. When I normally would crawl into bed once the last child was asleep. A couple of times a week, I will come down and join him in his activity. Are all our problems gone, "HECK NO"...but things are much calmer for me. We have talked more just about daily stuff, when normally I would say very little to him. I am not completely comfortable yet with telling him 100% of my feelings like I Once did when we got married. Things are getting better. I know I am not tense anymore just thinking about him coming home from work like I once was. Plus, we have had tons more sex then ever before. I guess ones I let the walls come down, things got more pleasant around here. I know my husband is wondering where all these changes came from, but has not asked. Instead,he is enjoying the benefits. I can not say with 100% certainity that things will be AOK, but things are improving.

By Debbie on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 12:56 pm:

I am so glad to hear things are going better. Good for you on making an effort, and trying to work out things in your marriage. I hope things continue to improve for you and your dh.

By Vicki on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 12:57 pm:

That is very good news. I am glad you checked back into the marriage and trying again. Nothing with your marriage can change if you don't put forth the effort. I bet you find things just keep getting better!!

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 02:20 pm:

(((Anon))) I'm glad you have decided to work on it, and I wish you and your husband the best. I'm sure at least one of us recommended it before, but if not, read "The 5 Love Languages". It has made an amazing change in our marriage in just a few weeks, I wish I had picked it up sooner!

By Unschoolmom on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 02:39 pm:

Thank goodness Anon! And congratulations on the tons more sex!

I know what you did isn't and won't always be easy. It's take a lot of time to rebuild a relationship and it takes a LOT of courage, especially considering how badly you were feeling about this before.

Good Luck!

By Tripletmom on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 03:26 pm:

Yeah-I'm really happy for you both.!!!!!(((Hugs)))

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 04:17 pm:

Wow, that's wonderful!!

By Annie2 on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 11:29 pm:

Great news! Keep going on the positive road!

By Imamommyx4 on Tuesday, March 28, 2006 - 11:52 pm:

I am so happy for you BOTH! I don't blame him for not asking either. I would just enjoy it too if I were him. I'm glad you're feeling better, too. I wish I could give you a hug.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 01:02 am:

I'm glad things are going better!

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 09:09 am:

Great news! It takes two people to make things better, and you are obviously making a real effort. One word - communication! Hopefully he will meet you half way in trying to work on your issues. I really hope things continue to improve for you guys.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 09:56 pm:

Took a while to get in that hole and it will take you a while to get yourself back out of it.. But don't give up and you will find your way.. Loving someone and being emotionally/physically connected to someone is something you do by choice... If you build up walls, you loose touch of those things that connected you in the first place.

Good men are hard to find.. And if you have one, you ought to do whatever it takes.........

I am glad you decided to do some soul searching.. ;)

By Jtsmom on Wednesday, March 29, 2006 - 10:15 pm:

I am so happy for you and your family!! Good for you!