Would you feel slighted if you didn't receive a thank you card for a wedding gift? Would it matter if it was family? Would you be less inclined to be as generous with a gift when they are about to have their first baby?

Just a few questions I've been asking myself this weekend.

By Reds9298 on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 05:00 pm:

YES! I think it's rude. It's happened to me before on 2 occasions (can you tell I remember them?) and they were from people that are just slackers and wanted the gifts. I hate that!

By Conni on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 05:01 pm:

We did not rcv a thank you note from a family member of dh's that got married in the fall. Honestly, I dont really care. We arent that close to them anyway, its a young girl and guy and well... It crossed my mind that we didnt get one- but nothing surprises me from this side of the family frankly. For example my mil who has nothing to do with our ds, sent him a bday card via email last week and his bday isnt until APRIL????? You see... ROFL Nothing surprises me and I am very thankful for my family. It means alot to me to get a heartfelt thank you card from the people we are close too- and those are the people that never slight us. Does that make sense?

By Pamt on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 05:48 pm:

I'd think it was rude and I'd be miffed, not so much with immediate family (if I got a phone call or verbal thank you in person that was genuine), but with anyone else, yes. However, I'd still try to be a big person and get the same type of gift I was planning on getting a new baby regardless of the thank you. Thank you notes are polite and nice to receive, but that's not the purpose of gift giving. We give gifts to celebrate an occasion or surprise someone we love---not to get a thank you note.

By Vicki on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 06:06 pm:

I agree that while it is really nice to get a thank you note, if I didn't get one, I wouldn't figure that into it when getting them any future gifts. It isn't way I give gifts!!

By Luvn29 on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 06:27 pm:

If I get one, it's nice. But if I don't, oh well. I definitely wouldn't consider it when purchasing future gifts. I do not give gifts for the purpose of getting a thank you and seeing how much praise they lavish about it. I buy gifts for people because it makes me feel good to do something nice. So whether or not they sent me a thank you note would have nothing to do with it.

To me, it is very gratifying to see someone get excited about a gift they open from me, but I don't expect them to send me a thank you note. An oral thank you is plenty enough.

By Reds9298 on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 07:32 pm:

I guess I didn't totally answer. It DOES mean a lot to me because I don't just pick out gifts without putting a lot of thought into it. I try to carefully choose gifts for weddings and babies because I think those are such important times in your life. When people don't appreciate it, it's irritating.
BUT...I would still give the same "caliber" of gift for the next event.

By Sunny on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 07:50 pm:

I understand the idea behind gift giving. When I give a gift, it is because I want to, not because I expect anything in return. But, for certain events (weddings, showers, funerals, etc.), I do think a written acknowledgement is expected. It is just good manners.

The amount I will spend on a baby gift doesn't depend on receiving a thank you card. I have heard other people say that they would think twice about being as generous if they didn't think that the gift was appreciated, but perhaps they were thinking of non-family.

For those who don't mind not getting a thank you card, do you still teach your kids to write them?

By Crystal915 on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 07:54 pm:

I think Thank You cards are important. It's a dying trend, sadly, but I still write them.

By Bellajoe on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 08:28 pm:

Yes, i do think it is rude not to send thank you cards, ESPECIALLY for wedding gifts. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding a few years ago and did not receive thank you notes from the shower gift i gave her, or for the wedding gift we gave her...and neither did any of the other bridesmaids.
It's not like i sit around waiting for a Thank You note, but i do notice if i don't get one, and do appreciate it when i do get one. It's just good manners. It doesn't need to be a lengthy note, just a Thank You would be nice.

By Bea on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 11:03 pm:

I think it's rude but I doubt I'd feel slighted. If I thought there was a chance that gift tags were lost, or if the gift was mailed, and might not have arrived, I'd call and inquire. If this isn't a possibility, I figure they are rude and boorish, even if they are family. I wouldn't extend myself to purchase any more gifts to someone who obviously has no appreciation for my time, effort or generosity.

By Imamommyx4 on Sunday, March 26, 2006 - 11:53 pm:

I usually try to send thank you cards myself. If I don't ever get one for a gift, it really never even crosses my mind. Sometimes I would rather just the person say something personally to me like I was making coffee this morning with that coffee make you gave us and I thought of you. And then I try to think about certain situations that have happened to me like recently at my dd's 5th bday party. While she was opening gifts a drink was spilled and was heading for the gifts. So we were moving dd and gifts and children and things became chaotic. One little girl was trying to help and put cards and presents in wrong bags. I got to the point that I didn't know what came from whom. I'm embarrassed. But I've talked to some parents and they laugh and say don't worry about it. I hate to send a note that just says thank you for coming and thanks for the gift. I always like to acknowlege their special gift and what was done with it and I can't this time. So maybe your family member had issues and the card in the present got lost and they don't even know what came from you. I'm up for giving them the benefit of a doubt.

By Babysitbarb on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 10:10 am:

I think it's nice to send thank yous and receive them. It just lets people know that you do appreciate the gesture. Especially big parties were they don't always open the gifts when your watching. It just lets you know they really did see your gift. I send them for many things myself.

By Latonya on Monday, March 27, 2006 - 03:39 pm:

It depends on what the occasion(SP?). A thank you note for a wedding gift or a baby shower gift is nice but you have to remember these people just got married or are planning for a baby and things slip your mind. Now I had a friend die a little less than a month before Christmas and she and I hadn't talked much in the last few years but there was a time when we were the best of friends. She had 2 sons ages 15 and 8. She meant alot to me but things happened in our lives and we grew apart but I still loved her. I found a poem titled "I am spending Christmas with Jesus this year" and even though I am not Christian I knew her parents and her 2 sons are so I typed it out, wrote a handwritten note so they would know who it was from and mailed it to them about a week before Christmas. I never expected anything in return but a few weeks ago they asked if my son could spend the night with my friends son at his grandparents home (her parents) and when my son came home he brought me a grocery bag that was tied and he said he was asked to give this to me. I opened it and there was 2 shirts and a pair of pants in it with a note form her mom saying that she loved me and thanked me for everything and for bring Tammy's friend. She said that no matter what happened in Tammy's life she always loved me. That made my whole day wonderful. The clothes were some of Tammy's and her mom said I am not giving any of here stuff to any of her other friends becuase they were not real friends. That meant more to me that sending me a million thank you cards. By the way the note was written on a piece of a napkin. Those are the things that really count.