My DH wants to move back east. We left in 1992 b/c I was offered a job in BC. We are now in Alberta where the economy is WONDERFUL (remember the $400 cheques I mentioned earlier...there is talk there might be more coming). Anyway, I am a teacher, he is in the forest industry (government).

We both tend to analyze everythign to death. We have two children (6 and 9). DH wants to be closer to family. I like it here. He has been struggling with depression issues for sometime so I thought maybe this move would help a bit. However, we don't have jobs there. My sister in law says that I will never get a job there applying from here. I would have to go there and do my "time". By this she is referring to subbing.

What would you do? Would you give up two well paying jobs to move without having a reliable source of income set up before the move??

By Vicki on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 11:52 am:

Honestly, no I wouldn't. I think that I would try to get the depression issues under control before I even seriously thought about making any moves. There is no guarentee that the move would do a darn thing to help those issues, and I would have to think that moving to a place with zero job security or possible even zero job would do much to help with depression!! Not to make light of the situation, but trust me when I say that moving closer to family could also cause MORE depression issues. LOL Sometimes, it isn't all its cracked up to be!

By Sunny on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 01:03 pm:

I don't know if I would do it either, but I would want to know what the job situation for my profession is first. I know your SIL gave you advice, is she a teacher too? I might make inquiries and put out feelers for a position near where you would move to before making a final decision. Uprooting the whole family and moving across the country without a job to go to or a plan in place would make me very uneasy.

By Heaventree on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 01:17 pm:

Paula I know this is something you have been debating about for a long time now. Why doesn't hubby take a leave of absence go home for awhile and look for a comparable paying job? If he is successful perhaps this will ease your mind a bit and you can follow and sub until you have paid your dues so to speak.

I think if you guys are going to do it, do it soon. Although children are resilent why up root them one they are so established? The longer you wait the harder it will get. You also have to consider the toll this is taking on your relationship with your DH, he wants to go, you want to stay, someone has to give up something. Who will it be? What price are you willing to pay to stay where you are? Are you really happy knowing that your DH is not? Your husband is not happy, I'm not saying that you should necessarily be the one to sacrifice but you both have to come to an agreement about where you are going to live. You can't be in limbo forever, it's too unsettling.

By Heaventree on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 01:18 pm:

Just wanted to add, most of my family is from the maritimes, some have left and stayed away, however most have gone back. They all manage to make a living and support their families. Where there is a will there is a way.

By Debbie on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 01:33 pm:

{{{Paula}}} I know this has been an issue with you and your dh for a long time. I like Cori's suggestion about your dh taking a leave of absence for awhile and seeing if he can find a job first. Would he be able to take off a month or so and stay with a realative, so he could get a feel for the job market? At least, if you do that, you will have your job and your dks won't be uprooted until you know if your dh can find a job.

I personally, would not move somewhere without a job first. I definitely know how your dh feels because I really wanted to move back to Texas by our family. It looks like dh will not be able to find a job there, so we are going to move to St. Louis with him this summer. There is no way I would have dh give up his job and move to Texas without some kind of work. It would be just too scary and stressful. And, like someone else mentioned, may not help his depression at all and could actually make it worse.

By Reds9298 on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 01:49 pm:

Just based on what you said, I would not do it. We would not move anywhere where at least one of us didn't have a job first AND we could afford to live on that one job for the time being. We over analyze everything as well and just plan for everything. I don't think you're over analyzing though...uprooting with nothing to go to is a MAJOR move.
You'll have to do what's right for you, but it's not in my comfort level at all. I think you have to ask yourself things like: Do we want to move our kids out of their school, neighborhood, church, whatever? Can we live on one income until both of us get jobs? What if it takes a while for you to get even one job? Could you live just on the subbing income until "you put your time in"?
I also agree with someone else who said the depression issue should probably get resolved or better before doing something so big. If it's a difficult transition due to jobs, money, the kids, or whatever, it doesn't seem like that would be big help for the depression.

Best of luck in making your decision.

By Tayjar on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 03:27 pm:

Not a chance. What if the move doesn't help his depression? Now you have a depressed husband, no jobs, financial worries, and upset children who were uprooted for nothing.

By Unschoolmom on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 06:01 pm:

Much as I'd love to have you in my neck of the woods Paula I think you should really encourage him to get some help for his depression before you guys get into any stressful situations.

In fact, I wouldn't even just encourage him. If he's stubborn (and you're willing to make the move) make it a condition that he has to get some help before you guys go. It's not fair to any of you to throw yourslf into the chaos of a move when one of the famliy may have some mental health issues.

It may just be homesickness, some maritimers are very weird that way. But why take the chance?

And if you do come out here someday...I'll still expect you by for tea.

By Paulas on Friday, March 24, 2006 - 06:34 pm:

Thanks for all the input.

Cori, I have decided that if this is important to him, I will do it, even though I don't really want to.

He is getting help, it's just not helping. The kids would love to go, especially my 9yo.

I think you are right, the money worries would be troublesome. We are going for a 3-week visit this summer. Maybe we can look then.