Okay as some of you know I have a new schedule days. Which I love. The problem is my mil is gone for the next couple of weeks and dd has been going to her friend house after school. They are in preschool and its half a day. Her mom and I are friends also. I should say that my friend is 7 months pregant with twins. Her dd is right now and only child. So having my dd there does give her dd someone to play with. However, dd and this little girl are hot and cold. They really bring out the worse in each other sometimes. They do things together they would not normally do apart. Last week my dd stabbed an exercise ball with a screwdriver. Her friend found it and gave it to her. Of course we talked about it ect... Today they broke the ceiling fan in the little girls room. Her friend told dd to throw a shirt in the fan when she turned it on. DD did and then the little girl pulled the shirt and broke the fan. Dd is not innocent but she said the little girl told her she wouldn't be her friend ect... That was really what got me the most because she could just not understand that she not do something she knows is wrong, if someone won't be your friend. UUUGH. I really think my friend is being nice and they are probably driving her crazy. I just don't have any other alternatives. It has to be someone who goes to dd school. I think it would hurt my friends feelings to. Maybe I am wrong about that. She probably would be glad to be rid of her. I told her to put her in time out whatever she had to do. DD really does not act like this at other peoples houses. I think a lot of is happening to because they have to be together everyday. They are sick of each other. I just don't know what to do. I think what I going to do is make dd buy the new ball with her birthday money. She does not have enough for the ceiling fan. So we are splitting the cost with my friend. But dh has to install it. I was thinking of trying to reward them for being good. We have two more weeks until we go on vacation and mil is back. Maybe a trip to McDonald's or something. I just hope everyone makes it out alive the next 2 weeks. Any suggestions? I know this turned into one long vent. Thanks if you got this far.

By Kate on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 09:34 pm:

Is there any chance you can take some days off? I know I couldn't possibly take care of two preschool kids and be seven months pregnant with twins, and not go CRAZY doing it all!! I would think it's a bit much for your friend, especially if they are bringing out the worst in each other. If it were me, I'd try and get a few days (or half days) off where you could take care of your daughter yourself, or maybe your husband could take some time off, too. Preschool seems a little young to be taking her money to pay for the ball. My preschooler doesn't have her own money, except for spare change she likes to put in her piggy bank. It's a hard situation...good luck!

By Beth on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 10:34 pm:

No I can't take time off because we are going on vacation in a couple of weeks. My boss has no dk's either and she is not the most understanding about this stuff. Dh already took the first week off that his mom was gone. I am going to talk to my friend tommorrow about this other mom in the class. I just don't really know her but my friend does and she was thinking about having her watch her dd. I trust my friends judgement. I just have to find out how well she really knows her like been to her house ect...? It just makes me a little nervous though. I just don't have any other options. It has to be someone she can ride home from school with. I told my dd she needs to tell the girls mom if she needs a "break" my dd does not nap but I think she gets tired playing all day. The other little girl tends to be in her face all the time demanding her attention. She is used to coloring quietly, playing games, watching cartoons with grandma. I will just have to really talk to my friend. As far as the money. To replace the ball probably won't even be half of it. She got lots of money for her b-day she has already spent also. My mom just was saving it for her for vacation or something special. She is five I guess I just want to show her some responsibility in this. I would be open to other ideas for a punishment.

By Mommmie on Wednesday, March 22, 2006 - 11:25 pm:

Wow, well, is there any home daycare provider you can find that will pick her up from preschool you can use instead? If things are already tough for your friend now and you have two more weeks to go that's going to be rough for all parties.

By Vicki on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 07:54 am:

I also think you really need to start looking for something else. If your friend has already started looking for someone else to take care of your dd, that is a HUGE flag to you that she can't handle it and doesn't want to do it. I think that she is trying in a nice way to tell you she is done! I think one of these days you could go to get her and your friend could say, I can't do this and I am done. If you don't do something, you could harm the friendship. Actually, if this is just preschool, you do have other options. She doesn't HAVE to go to preschool. Missing that isn't a big deal.

By Beth on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 08:00 am:

My friend was just going to use this women if she went back to work. She wasn't going to use her now. I am going to talk to her today though. I just don't know where I would find a daycare for 2 weeks. My mom is coming tonight so she at least won't go there on Fri. Her preschool is public school I don't know if they would unenroll her after missing 2 weeks. I am thinking this other mom will work out. Or at least I hope.

By Kaye on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 08:07 am:

I am trying not to sound rude, but I hope you go back and read your post. Your daughter stabbed an exercise ball with a screwdriver and then threw a shirt in a ceiling fan and you quote she is not innocent. NO...your daughter is being a real butt. Kids have moments, other kids can bring out the worst in them. But your daughter is having a problem. This is not helping out your friend, it is a burden. If things were going great, then she may appreciate a playmate for her daughter, but just from your post I can assure you she is exhausted.

I am not saying your child is a bad child, but obviously this situation is causing her to make bad choices. My kids have friends like that too. It goes both way, my kid can be the bad kid, the other kid can. We limit their time with them, or I watch them really really close. Well your friend can't do either one really.

Options, find a college age girl to pick her up and bring her home. Pull her out of prek for a week or two and pull her in full time daycare. Or find a different mom. I would post a note and offer to pay.

I am not sure of timing. but sounds like mother in law is gone at least 3 weeks and you are using this mom for 2 whole weeks. That is pushing it in my opinion. I baby sit for my best friend, a day here, a day there, maybe even 2 or 3 in a row, but if it involved every day, she always paid me. Putting up with difficulites is always easier when you are paid. I think you are taking advantage of your friend. If the friendship means something to you, you need to change something.

By Vicki on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 08:13 am:

I didn't realize it was a public preschool, that could make a difference, but you could check into it. Do you have 2 more weeks, or is tomorrow the end of week one and only one more week to go? Are there any other kids in the class that go to a daycare or something slimilar after school? I know our school district actually has two daycares on the bus route that they pick kids up and drop them off at.

By Beth on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 08:35 am:

I appreciate your opinion Kaye on my daughters behavior and I agree. But I have to say that I resent the fact that you assume I was not paying her. I didn't mention that anywhere. In fact my friend insisted I didn't and I insisted that I do. I told her if nothing else she could save it for a nice gift for the babies. Because I am giving her a substantial amount. This also wasn't like it was something that we didn't discuss months before it happened. I didn't just ask her last minute. I don't think that I was taking advantage of her. I just think it seems now that it is not working out. I also agree that it is part of the problem that my friend can't really watch them and together these two need some more supervision.

By Kaye on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 09:39 am:

I assumed you weren't paying her because you feel like you have no other options. Sorry about that. It has been my experience if you are willing to pay you always have options. That was the only that made sense to why you feel so stuck. It is okay for things not to work out, life doesn't always happen like we want it. Put a note up at the school, contact the colleges, contact your church. I think if would be easy to find short term care in your home.

By Beth on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 11:32 am:

I am sorry to. I got my panties in a wad rather quickly. I just didn't sleep well worrying last night about this. I talked to my friend today and she was admant that it really was not that bad. I guess I just walked in yesterday right after the fan incident had happened. I am still going to try and find someone else for a few of the days. She insisted that her dd would be disappointed. The busing issue here is the problem. This side of town goes at a certain time. They won't drop her off just anywhere. I will call off sick a couple of days if I have to. My friend I agree on this. These 2 girls are to much a like. They are both divas in training. They are competitve to. They both have decided that they are going to marry the same little boy from there class. They start so young! At least my mom is coming tommorrow for the weekend I think everyone needs a break.

By Yjja123 on Thursday, March 23, 2006 - 12:59 pm:

I think that your daughter is old enough to know right from wrong. It sounds like you are giving the appropriate punishment (paying for the damages).
I wonder how they have so much time/ability to get into trouble. It doesn't sound like your friend is really "watching" them, but merely letting them go off and play together.
When I babysat, I never left the kids to their own devices. This is where trouble begins.
I hope you find a new back-up sitter arrangement. I know it can be difficult!
Good Luck!