??"S for those that have had there kids tested for ADD/ADHD
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??"S for those that have had there kids tested for ADD/ADHD
I know I have probably asked these questions here before. I am still struggling with this with my ds. I will be honest. Dh and I have been kind of putting this on the back burner. Ds is getting good grades and he is not disruptive at school.
We kind of felt that we wanted to wait till next year and see how ds did with another teacher. As some of you may remember he repeated and has the same teacher. I like her, she is nice but she kind of has a loud boisterous personality. I don't think its a real match with my son. He is quiet and shy and gets his feelings hurt easily. I don't expect a teacher to pamper him but I think he does need a different approach.
Anyway she emailed me yesterday about a few things and of course mentioned again that he still has trouble following directions and he is always the last one done. Some of this is just my ds and who he is. He is never going to be the smartest, brightest, fastest in the class. I am fine with that and I wish other people would be! He is smart don't get me wrong but he does take time to think things through and honestly he is a little quirky. I can admit that and that is part of his personality that I love as his mother.
I guess my real question is when you had your children tested was it just the connors scale. to me that is just a piece of paper. There has to be a more infinitive test to say this is just not this child's personality there is something more to it. I work in mental health and I am not against medication. But this will label him for life. Not to mention the possible side effects from the meds that I am well aware of. I have seen where parents had there child tested independetly. But it cost $1000's of dollars. I don't have that. I wish that I did. I did see and article recently that the school is supposed to pay. But I am sure they will fight me tooth and nail. So what tests have you done?, who did them?, and did the school cough up the money? Thanks in advance. I am beyone frustrated with this but I know its not going to go away.
You know, if he's getting good grades and is not disruptive, I would wait until next year and see how he does with another teacher. Even if he is labeled, it has to be interfering with his schoolwork to get any special services at school. I see by your profile that he is still young...personally, I would wait. It could very well be a personality thing. My ds is ADD, but I waited until he was in 4th grade and HE was frustrated, to do anything. JMHO.
Another thought, he has to exhibit symptoms in more than one area of his life to be considered ADD. How is he at home?
Dh works in the mental health field as a behavior specialists (works with kids with these disorders plus emotional problems, etc)
In Maryland, the school psychologist does do the testing. Schools foots all of the bill plus any special education IEP, etc.
I have to be honest, your child does not seem 'to fit the profile.'
Maybe it's just the teacher? We have to be honest, some teachers do get impatient with these types of children and do like to label children if they can't keep up.
My daughter was always the last one done, very intelligent, patient, has to have things done perfectly (comes from something no one will ever understand, unless I would have went to somewhere like Dupont in NJ).
We had her tested at 3 1/2 by a pscyhologist but our health insurance paid for it.
Would health insurances pay for such testing?
If he is getting good grades and is not disruptive I really dont see what the teacher is complaing for????????
I have been in class with my 5yo and he has some trouble staying focused, has trouble sitting perfectly still and IS the last one finished with his papers (even with me helping him!!).  But he is catching on and he is not disruptive behavior wise. I am not concerned about him having ADD/ADHD.
My oldest ds was making OK grades but was EXTREMELY disruptive in class. He could NOT be quiet, he would blurt out answers when he had not been called on. He could not stay in his seat. He made mistakes that were silly. He had trouble with peers. He would get angry. He had trouble staying on task and had a hard time finishing his work. He could barely write until around 4/5th grade. He would ball if they tried to make him write in cursive. He really couldnt do it and one teacher thought he was just defiant. He could barely print. I have been thru so much with this one child. Years of stress, calls from teachers/prinicipals, bad grades, bad attitudes, no friends, lost friends, etc... He exhibited alot of the same behaviors at home and at church/sunday school AND in sports. This was definitely a candidate for med's...
This is just my opinion but I would hold off until next yr and see how he does with a new teacher. Just tell his teacher that he has now that someone has to be the LAST one finished. LOL And blow her off for now.
It doesn't sound like your child has ADD. Maybe more of an auditory processing disorder? But, to be honest, it sounds more like there isn't a good teacher/student fit. My DS had this with his K teacher.
That burns my butt when teachers complain about a child being the last one done. So? Maybe he is taking his time and is being thorough. I would rather my child take his time and get good grades than hurry and fail.
I would just wait and see how it goes next year with a new teacher. A new year with my DS made all of the difference in the world. And, talk to your school to see if they can maybe put him with a teacher next year that will more sensitive towards his learning style.
Ditto the others.
Some of the quirks you are describing apply to gifted children as well. Let him be.
Ame
I was in your position with my son. Last month he was given the TOVA test at school by the school social worker. It isn't ADD/ADHD with him, just the opposite. He focuses TOO much on one thing and isn't paying attention to anything else going on around him, and likewise, when he is moved on to the next task, he finds it difficult to transition and he isn't paying attention to directions b/c his mind is still on the previous task.
He is in 3rd grade now, but in 1st grade his teacher was incredibly impatient. In fact, she was downright rude and told me that she thought he was lazy and just didn't care about his work. What a b****. My feelings were hurt, but I couldn't transfer him, so I did my best to get along with her for his sake and did what it took to get him through her class. Now that I know what was really going on, I could just smack her. He was being bullied in her class by a kid who bullied him all the way through 2nd grade. My son never told me, and we didn't find out until the end of second grade, and that kid isn't in his class this year. He was having a hard time focusing, and since she had no patience with him, she had simply given up trying, so he developed poor listening and study habits thanks to her.
Anyway, this year we have a teacher who is really willing to work with him. He needs some kind of warning that he will need to prepare to move on to the next task, so she touches his shoulder and tells him that in five minutes he will need to make the transition to the next thing. This seems to be working.
At home, I also have a conract with my son, as a reward system. I typed up on the computer an agreement that we both sign saying that if he pays attention and does the work he is supposed to do for one month, he will get a toy or video game. If he fails and I get a note or a call from the teacher, we start over on that day and go one month from then.
The key to any attention issue is structure. We have a set study schedule at home, too, so that he knows what to expect every day after school. He gets an hour and a half to play and unwind. Then we eat dinner, then we allow about 2 hours for homework because I know it will go slowly, and this way he doesn't have to be rushed. Then he gets a shower and another 1/2hour or so to play before bedtime. I printed up a checklist of these items so that we can check them off one by one each night.
As for labeling, I wouldn't worry about that. There are so many ADD/ADHD kids out there that no one flinches anymore and it's totally accepted as being common. In addition, my 17 year old cousin had it BAD when he was little (ADHD) and he actually grew out of it. Part of his problem was always getting into trouble and developing a very low self esteem. It acually came down to my aunt staying home to be with him for a few years and doing somewhat what I am doing with my son, setting up structure and eliminating chaos, and PRAISING him for his accomplishments, no matter how small to build up that self esteem and a sense that he really can succeed. He is now excelling in music and has been accepted to the West Virginia School of Music next fall.
You might check the amenclinics web site of Dr. Daniel Amen. He has an online test you can take. This doctor is different in that he wants to see a brain scan of the brain for a dx - not just a piece of paper. He does think certain types of ADD should be medicated and others can be helped with diet and other non-medicated ways.
When I first tested my son for ADHD I did it privately and paid cash and by a new doctor. That way there was no paper trail if I decided to ignore the dx. I never had any testing done by the school bec I wanted some privacy.
What really helped me was spending time at the school watching my son (out of his sight). It helped me to see for myself what was happening, bec I had no trouble with him at home and the teachers couldn't really describe what he was doing in a way I could get an understanding (and because I just couldn't believe the problem was that bad).
I also realized that my son needed an eval for learning disabilities, even though he was high IQ. Getting the dyslexia ruled in or out was just as important as getting the ADD one ruled in or out. (Both were ruled in.)
I also talked to a lot of other parents of classmates and I realized if the kid was doing okay - within normal - the teacher wasn't complaining to the parents. I thought I was getting picked on or singled out without reason, but once I started the observing (and I observed another child for his mom bec she was getting complaints too) I saw what the teacher was seeing. Both of our kids stood out.
ADHD kids are totally delightful. They are interesting, creative, funny and full of personality. There are pros to ADHD. Our kids will never be ignored. They won't be sheep. They are indepedent thinkers. It's not all bad.
I wanted to add that observing in school also lets you see if the teacher is nuts and your kid is being reasonable.
Thank you all for your responses. I talked to this lady today who is an advocate and she will come with you to the IEP and such. Sort of help you through the system so to speak. She did say something that you said Mommie. If the school pays for the testing they own it so to speak. So I will have to think about that one. She did give me the name of a neuropsychologist. I going to call him next week, there closed this week. So we will see what they say. She seemed to think my insurance would at least cover some of it. Thanks for all of the advice. This is so frustrating as I am sure you all have found out.
I had my 2 youngest sons tested at Vanderbilt when they were in 1st and 2nd grade. And my insurance paid for both. I do not remember the tests that were done. But it was both paperwork and one on one stuff. The older was so classic ADHD that it wasn't funny. The youngest is ADD. He sounds alot like your son. Smart, quiet, last to finish and even brought class work home to finish sometimes, kind of quirky, but just a good kid.
Ritain worked well on the older but we only gave it to him for school. All weekends and holidays were med free.
We tried a variety of med and combinations with the younger and nothing really seemed to change him much. He just marches to his own beat.
I wish you well. It is hard. You want to do the best for your kids but not stifle them either.
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