Last June, we very tragically lost my friend, my coworker, who also who happened to be my dd's 2nd grade teacher. She taught at our school for about 35 years, so you can imagine the impact it had. She was one of the most unique people I have ever met, she was not your typical 35 yr tenured teacher. She came to school every day dressed like a 50's barbie doll, loved cats and the fine arts. She was completely amazing and touched the life of all who were around her. I still can't walk into her old classroom, which totally defined who she was. Sorry, I am rambling. To the point, her mother was absolutely devastated when this happened. We had a memorial in December and I spoke to her. She told me she still cries every day. This was the first death my dd ever experienced and really it was the first death of someone I really loved for me. Anyways, I can tell dd has been thinking of her, she started watching the musical Cat's again (which the teacher exposed her to and she watched every single day until the teacher died - and then never watched it again til now) but now she watches it and makes a tent "so I can't see her eyes" (she's crying). She recently drew a picture of Miss Connor reading one of her favorite books to the class. She wrote on top "to Miss Connor's family". Do you think it would be to sad for the mother if I sent this and a letter on how much she meant to all of us and we all still miss her (I'm tearing up writing this now) or do you think I should leave it be?

By Kate on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 06:35 pm:

I would send it. This woman's mother thinks of her daughter every day and your sending your DD's pics and a letter isn't going to throw her into despair...rather, I think it will please her so much to know that others DO think of her, too, and that others remember her and miss her. I think it will comfort her, but most of all, I truly think it will NOT disturb or hurt her in ANY way. She remembers all the time...you won't be suddenly making her think of it and feel fresh pain. She feels the pain everyday whether or not others mention her daughter.

By Marg on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 06:37 pm:

Please by all means pass it along to the family. As a person who lost many family members it is always nice to have a family member remembered.

Very sentimental. It will also help your daughter, especially if she were the one to give it to this teacher's mother.

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 06:54 pm:

Ditto Kate!!!!

By Amyl on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 07:26 pm:

I think that you should send it to her mother, that would be a wonderful thing for her to receive. I also know that on the anniversary it was always nice to receive a card from people. Maybe not a phone call, since my DD's anniversary is difficult for me to talk about without crying. I know that when other people bring my DD up I feel blessed that she may have touched their lives in some way as well for the short few minutes that she was here. Please do send it and let her mother know just how much she meant to you and how much you think of her still today.

By Marcia on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 12:26 am:

Every bereaved parent's worst fear is that their child will be forgotten. Sending your daughter's picture will mean the world to her mom.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 08:01 am:

I would send it, with a note from you explaining how much your daughter loved their daughter. Every once in a while someone will say something nice about my mother to me - after over 7 years - and it still warms my heart.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 08:02 am:

In fact, I would add in the letter some of the lovely things you said in your post about their daughter, as you obviously admired and liked her, and miss her. I think they would appreciate that too.

By Colette on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 09:29 am:

Thanks, I will write the letter this weekend.

By Kiki on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 09:37 am:

I think it's a wonderful letter to send. It just might put a smile on her face.