So why do people always ask?
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So why do people always ask?
We are planning on a cruise in August. We have planned this since last April. We are taking the kids as well. As we have never traveled without them. Its one of those things I will not do. With that said,if I tell somebody We are going on a cruise the first thing they say is "Are you taking the kids with"....and I say OF COURSE.I dont even know why that would be a question.
Yes, I know many married people travel without the kids. I remember my parents took weekend trips away with out us when we were younger and me and brothers turned out fine LOL
Its just one of those things me and my husband dont give a second thought too. Where we go, they go.We only travel once a year. With being a one income family, we can only afford one vacation a year. And, I would gladly save and pinch pennies so we could all go.
I just never understood why this question comes up so much with me?
Jackie we travel both with and without our kids. Our "vacations" without the kids are through dh's work and they are actually working vacations as he is taking his customers. They are paid for by the company and that really is the only way we can do both a with and without kids vacation. How does the cruising with kids work out? We have thought about it but don't think it work work for us....5 kids plus 2 adults I'm not sure they even make a room big enough for us.
I don't think people mean anything by asking if you are taking the kids or not. They're just asking an innocent question. Some people take vacations without the kids and some people don't. Others do both. Different strokes for different folks.
DH and I have never taken a "vacation" without the kids. We have only gone away twice without them, once for a 3 day business trip to Las Vegas that was paid for and once for a weekend away to celebrate our 20th anniversary.
They ask because vacations with kids are "Family Vacations" and vacations without are sometimes "Romantic Get-Aways". I don't see why this question is annoying. It's simply part of a conversation....like asking where you're going, or do you plan to snorkel? Do people ridicule you for vacationing with your kids? Do you think they should assume that everyone does? Does it bother you that other people may feel it's a choice and you don't?
We can really only afford one big vacation a year, so we take the kids with. It would be nice to be able to take a vacation without kids, but it's just not going to happen.
I think sometimes people see a cruise as more of a romantic trip, than a family trip. Especially those of us who grew up watching Love Boat! LOL!
However, there is the commercial that was on last summer, where the kids and mom and grandpa, are all off BUSY doing things on the ship and all dad is doing is going places and falling asleep. So, I guess they present it as more of a family event, with many different activities to keep everyone busy! (That would be my DH, snoring on a beach chair, while the kids and I ran around doing stuff!)
We do both. Most of our big vacations include the kids but we do weekend getaways that are just for DH and I. I don't understand why it bothers you that people ask if the kids are going with you. Does it bother you when they ask where you are going or what cruise line you're cruising with? I would just think of it as making conversation.
I think it's a perfectly reasonable question. You could be taking the cruise as a romantic get-away! Since many couples do vacation without kids, it's a *normal* question to ask, even if it's not something you would consider doing.
Last year dh and I went to Hawaii without kids to celebrate our ten year anniversary. I can't tell you how many times we said "Oh Griffin would love this!" or "Wouldn't Peyton love that!" So next year we are going again, only this time it will be a family trip. 
I think Dawn is right. I think at one time people thought of cruises as romantic getaways. I guess they are to some people. It seems that cruising has really come along way over the years, and geared so much more for the family then it was say 25 yrs ago when The Love Boat first came out.
I think the question really only surprises me when friends ask me. Because, anybody who knows us knows that we have never taken a vacation without the kids. I suppose maybe when they are older it may be a possibility. For right now, we live in a state with no family, so its not an option for us.
Depends on how old the kids are. Depends on your extended family situation baby sitting situation. I know someone with four young children. They might as well stay home due to the work taking four young children. It would just be all work. Cruises are starting to get set up for families. Though I did find the disney cruise really set up for kids. I would take it again because I was rested after the cruise. I haven't been on oh what is it called... starts with a c... carnival cruise and am interested in hearing about the baby sitting and kids club which I heard is quite good.
Many hotels now offer kids camps which I think it very interesting too.
I find I always get sick on vacation with ds and exhausted when I return.
Though I adore my watching little traveler learn about a new place. I was having dreams about ds drowning in Hawaii last night. Ds almost drowned in Hawaii in a tidal pool. Another child and him fell in a natural hole and down they went. Lucky I was watching him pretty closely and could save the both of them from drowning.
Feona thats scary!!! My oldest sister nearly drowned when we were kids and my Mom told that story alot growing up. It *really* affected my Mom that she could have lost a child. (obviously)
I ask people this question because I am just curious if they are taking the kids or not. We travel with our kids and without our kids. Its funny how much the kids seem to appreciate Mom once she comes back from a trip away from them. LOL Thats mean. (but its true!)
I very much enjoy traveling with my kids and I do enjoy traveling without them every once in awhile!
Hope you have fun on your cruise!! I would love to sneak off with my oldest ds (almost 14) and go on a cruise alone. Just the 2 of us and maybe one of his friends. He only has 4.5 more yrs at home. I think he would rather go snowboarding tho and with this family of Colorado lovers- I could never pull off just he and I going ALONE. lol
My kids will be 11, 7 and 2 when we cruise in August.This will be our 2nd cruise as a family. Of course our first cruise Faith wasnt around yet LOL
We do not travel without the kids simply because we have no family to watch our kids. Our family does not live in the same state as we do. My parents would never watch all 3 of my kids. My mother has some health issues, and Faith would be too hard for her. She would certainly keep my oldest.
Since we never have lived in the same state with family, traveling without the kids is never an option.
Plus, the way I look at it, soon enough they will be grown and moved out, and then we will have all the time to travel alone.So we are just enjoying it now. Its only once a year, but we sure look forward to it.
We have never vacationed without the kids, but only for money and having no parents around. Now we live near both grandparents so this summer we are taking a 3 day vacation to Branson. It is only like 3 or 4 hours from our house. I look forward to it. We would never leave them with anyone other than our parents though. Not for that long.
Yikes, I could be guilty of being annoying. If one of my friends said they were taking a cruise, I think my first question would be "are you taking your kids?". I don't mean it to be rude, or to infer that they shouldn't. Just wondering, that's all. A lot of time people cruise without their kids. That's why I would ask.
If someone said they are going to Disneyland, I probably wouldn't ask if they are taking their kids. I would just assume that they are.
We've never taken a complete vacation without our kids. But, we have taken a weekend getaway a couple of times. No more than 2 nights away. Our week-2 week vacations are always with kids in tow
Honestly, most of my parents vacations were just them, a time for them to relax from their stressful jobs and reconnect as a couple. We also did family mini-vacas, but it's not uncommon for them to go to FL or the Caribbean for a week alone.
I ask too. We have had a couple of getaways without the kids (3 actually in 14 years of marriage). It just happened that way. But I never think anything when people ask, I just say yep, "one big happy family".
I LOL at feona, since I have left all three pretty young, I will say it was SOO much more work to leave them than to take them. When we moved here my kids were 5,7 and 9 and we came to house hunt. We drove down in hubby's car and I flew back, our time was short and we just couldn't swing the extra plane tickets, plus just the slow pace of kids looking at houses. (we looked at 60 houses in 3 days). But each kid had their own schedule, maps to the schools incase they missed buses, clothes laid out, because grandparents didn't really know what fit who, etc. Phone numbers, doctor information, etc. A night or two probably not so bad, but I was gone for 5 nights and it was crazy. Plus food, I had to precook, preplan a lot of food. My little guy was all about routine and had to have things just so, so knowing mommy made his food allowed him to eat it. I didn't miss having them with me, but it would have been less work to haul them with us, but would of cost so much more.
Same as a lot above, a cruise would be for dh and me, camping, the beach, disney, sea world that would be for the whole darn bunch.
If this is annoying to you, maybe you need a couple vacation
Conni, I am planning a ski trip with my oldest and a friend of hers, bummer is we are in Southern AZ and the closest "good" snow is about 8 hours away right now. I approached it just like you mentioned, I told everyone we have a few years left together and I will take each of them when they are 12 or 13 as well. They took it very well and are excited for her. Plus my dh tends to be VERY leinient while I'm gone anywhere so I'm sure that has something to do with their "blessings".
I don't think it's an unreasonable question either, but if you're dead set on not taking vacations without your kids, then I can see why it's irritating.
(I feel the same way when people CONSTANTLY ask when I'm having more children. They don't understand the words "I'm not" and it's irritating!)
I personally wouldn't take my dd on a cruise (or any children under 12 for that matter) so I would be surprised if you told me you were. It's just not my way of thinking I guess, but it's what you guys like to do so just answer simply when people ask and don't go into explanation because it probably irritates you even more. (I feel that way about the baby thing...if I try to explain, people just get it less and less and then I get more irritated.)
Enjoy your family time wherever you take it! My friends take their dd EVERYWHERE and I just would be too stressed out to enjoy it. More power to you!!!
Deanna, you think that's bad, I get the "Oh, boy and a girl at once, you're done having kids, huh??" I get that from total strangers, and usually make them feel stupid when I say they aren't my husband's biological children, and we plan on having at least one more together. I'm 23 for god's sake!!!
I have 2 girls, so I would get the "when are you trying for a boy?" question an awful lot! Not anymore, though. Thank goodness! Uhhh, even if I would have had another child, there are no guarantees it would have been a boy!
What is it with people thinking you have to have some of each? I grew up with only sisters and raised only daughters. Oh well.
I had three kids very close together (my oldest was not quite four when I had number 3). Random people in the food court would say "you know what causes that?" GEESH! Sorry ginny, but there are stupid questions!
LOL KAYE!! I can't believe people said that!!
And Dawnk, people always say to us "Well you have to have a boy"..and yes, please tell me how I can guarantee this???
Crystal - I never thought of people assuming thta you're "done" having kids when you have one of each. The strange things we (collective)think as a society I guess!
People look at me like I'm NUTS when I say we're going to have more, like it's any of their *darn* business. We don't live in China, I can have a whole basketball team if I wanted!!! (I don't LOL)
Kaye, my sisters and I were like that! I was just 3, when my youngest sister was born! LOL! (60, 61, and 63!)
Crystal, they look at us like *we're* NUTS because we don't want more kids and never planned on more than one. I think everyone has their own perfect # and you never know what that will be!!
We were "weirdos" for waiting 6 years to have our first baby, and now we're "weird" for not wanting more. I remember when people would ask us if we had any kids (people we hadn't seenfor a long time) and we said no, and they would touch my shoulder and make a sad face and say "Oh I'm sorry"...LOL We would grab them back and say "Don't worry..we're not trying, and that's the way we want it right now." Then they looked puzzled.
I tried to tell people we only wanted one long before kids, but no one would believe me. Now that she's here and there still aren't more, people are starting to believe us and they can't understand us. REALLY - why does anyone care how many kids you, me, or anyone else has???? Surely there's something else they could be doing with their time/minds!
While we are chatting about annoying remarks, when the kids were young and I would be somewhere in public with all four of them, I'd get asked *are all of those YOURS?* And sometimes I'd just say yes, or when they were really young, and the whole parenting/step-parenting thing was relatively new to me, I might say *yes, they're all mine, the 2 oldest are my stepchildren*. And some rude people would say *Oh, but those aren't really yours, so that doesn't count, you can still have more*. Talk about insensitive!
I actually had always wanted 3 kids - I had 2 birth children, and 2 non-birth children, so if you look at it that way, I actually had 1 more than I'd planned on anyway.
Some people are so tactless.
I have a friend who just has one son. There was a time, when she debated having another one, but soon after, decided that Michael was it!
On the other hand, Michael loves to act and is always in some play or another. He has been at First Stage in Milwaukee, which is about 30 miles from their home. It's been a lot of running for mom, to take him to and from play practices or dance classes. With another kid, it would have been hard to juggle the schedule. So, I think having just one kid has been good for them.
Michael has been to some acting workshops in NYC, too. With two kids, maybe there wouldn't have been the money for that.
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