I have only really discussed this with a couple of close friends. Ok here is my question, do you find sex messy? Ugh.. I know an obvious question, but more do you find it kind of gross??
We use to use condoms until my husband had a vasectomy a couple of years back. To be honest, I did not mind the condoms at all, there was no mess involved on my part.
Sometimes, well alot of the times, it just grosses me out.
My husband told me if I bought condoms he would use them , if it meant more sex for him LOL..
Am I the abnormal one who thinks sex is messy?
Sorry I have to post ANON, I would be totally embarassed if anybody know who I was.

By Happynerdmom on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 08:48 am:

Yes, sex can be very messy, but I don't mind! It doesn't gross me out, it's just the way it is. It's nothing that can't be cleaned up. I guess I can see that if you are a very fastidious person you might have some difficulty, but for me, it's just part of the experience, LOL!

By Trina~moderator on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 08:58 am:

Ditto Happynerdmom. Try putting a towel down on the bed. That will save any messes on the bedding. (A towel is easier to throw in the wash, as opposed to stripping the sheets.) You could take a quick shower to clean up. I usually go to the bathroom afterwards and clean up a little before going back to bed. We used condoms several years before DH got a V, and honestly, I'm so very glad NOT to have to use them. I'd rather deal with the mess. LOL! It's a personal thing. Do whatever you're more comfortable with.

By Alberobello on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 09:09 am:

Ditto Michele and Trina. The towels are a good idea if you know what you are doing in advance... the problem is when it's a surprise, but like MIchele said nothing that can't be cleaned up afterwards (of course the cleaning part is not as sexy!).

By Anonymous on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 09:14 am:

The mess does not bother me right now because we use condoms. My husband absolutley refuses to have sex without a condom unless it is like a day after my period. I wish I had a mess to worry about. It is better without them I think. We just wipe off on a hand towel or something and fall alseep.

anon just in case someone I know reads this

By Anonymous on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 09:24 am:

I ALWAYS go into the bathroom and clean with a washcloth. Honestly though, I just think its gross all that "dripping"afterwards..

By Truestori on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 10:06 am:

It depends on my mood! Sometimes I actually think about the fact that we will get "dirty" other times I just go with the flow..LOL No pun intended! I always shower before and after, its just a personal thing. So, sometimes I just don't feel in the mood to get back in the shower and thats when I get annoyed!

By Conni on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 10:21 am:

Well, yes, it can certainly be messy.

We are glad not to use condoms tho. I hated stopping and then waiting a second. Did not like the feel. My mind is so scattered it only takes about 10 sec for me to get out of the mood and start thinking about the list of things i have to do the next day.

Our rule is, whoever was on top has to get the towel afterwards.

I have friends who have felt the same as you. So I dont think you are abnormal!! Everyone is different. I know people who only had s e x in the shower due to the messy factor. Personally, I'd rather have all the lights out and be under the covers. lol

By Crystal915 on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 11:02 am:

I think it's messy and kinda gross. I don't mind that we don't use condoms, but there is a certain "ewwww" factor about the leaking! I've also taken to wearing a scented pantyliner afterwards, because I can usually notice that "sex" smell for a couple days afterwards. DH swears I'm just imagining it, but I'm not!!

By Anonymous on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 11:52 am:

We both clean up in the bathroom afterwards. I can't stand the dripping either. If it's midday sex I take a bath afterwards. I'm a freak when it comes to cleanliness, i'm just glad my DH doesn't take offense to it.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 12:05 pm:

I don't mind the "messy factor". I just go in the bathroom and clean up afterwards. Shower before sex would be nice, but it just doesn't happen here! We tend to be the most interested in sex, in the morning and we just go with the flow, warts and all. Sometimes, I think it would be nice, to have sex when we are all cleaned up! Two showers in one day, in the winter, though, would be the death of my skin, though! I can barely handle having one shower every other day! My skin gets so dried out.

Oh, we hate condoms, too. I use foam, though, since we really don't want anymore kids.

By Anonymous on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 01:09 pm:

Yes, I think it's messy too. It only bothers me if it's really late and I'm tired. I don't feel like doing cleanup, so dh has to use a condom on those late nights. I wish someone had told us sex was messy. We didn't find out until we were married. It took away part of the romance. I guess that's the part of the honeymoon no one talks about.

By Reds9298 on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 03:01 pm:

We don't use condoms and thank goodness because neither of us like them. I'll take the mess. Ditto on the towel. We usually clean up afterward in the bathroom, but then I also will put a panty liner in for a while for the "drip". I hate that feeling, too, but it doesn't cross my mind too much because there's too much fun involved!
If I'm not in a situation where I can shower right after, I find a panty liner to make me feel cleaner until I can.
LOL last Anon - I remember the first time I had sex I was appalled that "it comes back out!" I remember thinking how gross it was then because I simply just didn't know it did that. My sister and Mom never filled me in on THAT part!

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 04:24 pm:

Yes, it's messy. We both always take a shower after and if its a quicky because we are short on time we will use a condom.

By Bellajoe on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 10:05 pm:

i'm so glad to hear you all think it's messy too! I think my dh thinks i'm a freak because i go to the bathroom right away and clean up. I'm glad to know i'm not the only one!

Sometimes i take a shower right afterwards, but usually i just want to stay in the nice warm bed.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, January 23, 2006 - 11:12 pm:

***********************************************

DH thinks it's messy, too, and also goes to the bathroom to clean up! LOL!

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 01:59 am:

ROFL! DH will bring me a washcloth if I *really* don't want to get up, or if I need to elevate my hips. He goes to the bathroom to clean up most of the time as well. Plus, certain positions make it more "leaky", which makes me cringe! That can put a damper on the afterglow!

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 07:47 am:

Ever consider, if there wasn't a mess, none of us, or our kids, would even be here at all? LOL

By Jackie on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 08:01 am:

Good point Karen, hehehe
I think some of the ladies were talking more about if it were contained better LOL

By Truestori on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 09:46 am:

Daddys Little Squirt!! LOL

By Anonymous on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 09:57 am:

Yes, it can be messy but as Michele stated above, it's just part of the experience. It never bothered me much. Now, MESSY is making love during a period! A towel, and best a dark towel, is definitely necessary, and a shower afterwards!

By Anonymous on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 10:03 am:

I don't get touched with a ten foot pole during my period, unless it is like the last day and super light.

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 10:19 am:

LOL about sex during my period! During the first several years of our marriage, we had sex quite often during my period, and had a "love towel" for that specific purpose! Now, after 19 years of marriage, it just doesn't seem that urgent anymore, LOL! I can't even remember the last time we had sex with the "love towel"....

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 10:27 am:

The "love towel"! Too funny! Perhaps TMI, but DH and I make love whenever the mood strikes, period or not. I'm certainly not going to let Aunt Flo stop us from having fun. LOL!

By Anonymous on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 10:56 am:

I usually don't during AF but that's usually because my cramping is so painful or my PMS attitude gets in the way of any fun, lol.

By Tink on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 02:00 pm:

DH and I have been together for ten years and we've NEVER had sex during my period...ever! We're both grossed out by it.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 02:29 pm:

I don't like it, when my period is at it's heaviest. As it's winding down, then I don't care.

By Missbookworm on Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 07:57 pm:

I'm with you Trina! We make love whenever the mood strikes.

I don't worry about the mess, unless it's that time of the month. Sometimes we'll wash up right after sometimes we don't I guess it depends. If my bf isn't staying the night he'll clean up after before dressing to go home and I will when I get up to go to the washroom before going to sleep. Sometimes we take showers together and wash up, other times we just snuggle in and go to sleep and shower in the morning.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 09:53 pm:

We've been together for 13 years and have NEVER had sex during a period!!!! We're both grossed out by it. I had no idea that was so common!! Live and learn.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 11:00 pm:

I would think that having to remove a tampon or pad would put me "out of the mood" in a hurry.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 01:19 am:

That's exactly where I'm at, Anonymous! The thought just puts me right out of the mood! LOL!

By Anonymous on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 07:01 am:

The 3rd day of AF there is no flow. I am heavy for 2 days then no flow, then light for 2 days. Every month!! I swear my dh COUNTS the days until the 3rd day. He will not leave me alone every month on that day. He must mark it on a calendar at work or something? lol

By Crystal915 on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 11:30 am:

ROFL Anon, my cycle is the same way, but I don't tell DH that. That's my one week "off", and I don't find anything sexy about cramps and bloating and the such. Plus, I don't shave during that week to give my skin a break, so even LESS interested in sex!!

By Tink on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 01:30 pm:

My cycle is that way too, although it could be the third or fourth day. I don't let my dh know about my "break" since I just want to enjoy it! LOL about the calendar, my dh can usually point out that I'm pmsing before I even realize it. Luckily (For him!), he does it tactfully!

By Anonymous on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 04:23 pm:

I have been with my husband now for 15 years and sex just seems to happen when the mood strikes. The mess has never bothered me besides we got use to it escpecially since DH likes to make love wherever the mood strikes. I always enjoy the conversation during cleanup time.

By Anonymous on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 04:39 pm:

I did not realize there would be so many responses to this. I am the original anon on this LOL
I am glad to know that I am not the only one who thinks its gross, all the dripping and the rest of it. Yes, I go clean up afterwards, but it is still gross to me. I have no problem using condoms just for the no mess factor. It is nice when we use to use condoms, I would be the one to roll over and go to sleep and not worry about the mess. As much as I try to clean up well, it seems the next day there is always some extra stuff left YUCK!. Thankfully I ALWAYS wear a pantyliner. I just hate wiping the next day and still finding it. I know it is all apart of sex and all, but I do not find it appealing at all.

By Kaye on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 06:00 pm:

LOL...I guess this one of those people are all different things. My hubby started working out a few years back, and one of the most exciting things for me was he wasn't sweaty during sex. It is all about the messy factor, I just hate feeling like I need to shower when I want to go to sleep!

On the otherside of that. I am not a pantyliner gal, I can't imagine wearing one weekly, much less daily.

As far as sex on my period, not a highlight here. On a light day, I guess it isn't a huge deal. But then again, I am on day 9 of my period and it has been a long time!

By Crystal915 on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 07:04 pm:

DAY NINE??? OMG, I'd DIE!

By Reds9298 on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 08:57 pm:

I just wear a pantyliner that day or night until I shower! It's more like a quick fix.

I used to have 10-12 day periods until I went on the pill 10 years ago. It was TERRIBLE! I've BTDT Kaye. Not fun to say the least!!

By Kaye on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 09:58 pm:

LOL....this is NOT normal for me. Last month my period was quite heavy and only last 24 hours, of course it was Christmas eve and I had to change tampons every 30 minutes and still had to change clothes once. Not sure what is going on with my body...BUT I did find a cool website mymonthlycycles.com where I can track all that great info. I figure I can actually "see" what is going on, so when I go for my check up I can say so What is up with this?!?!