We have a multi-level house and Matthew spends most of the day in the Family room. There are stairs down to the basement but he has no access as there is a door and the handle is child proof.

We have stairs that go up to the mail level of the house which has the living room, dining room and kitchen. There is a gate at the top and the bottom of the stairs, however the stairs are right next to the fire place. Matthew can now climb up onto the hearth and get access to the stairs and the kitchen level, which means if the gate to the upstairs bedrooms is not closed he has access to upstairs as well.

The family room is the safest place in the house, the most child proof room. All of our rooms are child proof, but I can't keep him off the dining room table or out of my drawers in the kitchen which poses some potential problems.

It would not be such a problem if I wasn't at times busy with Cameron, i.e. nursing.

Matthew will be 2 years old in March. When did you allow your children unsupervised access to stairs? BTW he has fallen down the stairs once or twice already. He still goes down on his bottom usually holding my hand. I will let him climb these stairs on his own, but not the taller stairs that go to the bedrooms. I don't want to be one of these over protective moms but I just read that a lot of children hurt themselves on stairs.

Here is a photo, any suggestions on how we should fix? I tried just closing the gate at the top of the stairs but then he stands on the stairs and rattles the gate, which worries me.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 03:30 pm:

I think Emily was doing stairs, before she was 2. She was very careful and came down on her tummy, feet first.

I can't remember with Sarah. I know she fell once, and I was even on the stairs with her, but she wasn't hurt.

By Amecmom on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 04:00 pm:

We have a firplace gate which would restrict him from climbing there. I actually have two, one I have onfigured as a free-form gate to block the stairs and the tv. If I get a chance, I'll take a pic.

Ame

By Amecmom on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 05:46 pm:

This is how we have it configured.
You could also just do a traditional fireplace gate around the hearth along with the gate you already have.

Ame

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 06:04 pm:

I would definitely have a gate at the bottom of the steps as well as the top. Even though he can handle the steps most of the time, he can also fall on them.

I can understand his frustration. Can you nurse Cameron in the family room, so that you only have to deal with changing, bathing, etc., away from Cameron?

By Heaventree on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 07:17 pm:

Thanks Ame, there is a local store here that sells those long fence/gate type things, I'll look into it. We will have to do something for sure. We never turn the fireplace on while the children are awake, but I noticed today that he can reach the switch if he stands on the hearth so it's only a matter of time.

Ginny, we have a gate at the bottom as well, it's just hard to see in the photo, I just opened it to take the photo. I try to do most things in the family room like nursing and changing. Matthew is at that age where as soon as he sees me occupied or busy he will get into things on purpose, my guess is for attention. I sometimes have to constantly stop nursing to get him down off of something like the hearth, he will not listen until I get up. Funny my cat is the same way . Anyway poor Cameron, he can't figure out why he's happy and content sucking one minute and then I'm gone the next and right back again.

I'll invest in the long gate, it's only a matter of time before I have two of them climbing all over things and I'm sure Cameron will start much sooner than Matthew as he will have his big brother to show him everything.

By Cat on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 07:22 pm:

Cori, we had to turn the gas off to our fireplace because even with it off the glass gets hot. We asked the inspector (from the building company) about it and he said it was normal. Funny, no other houses we've been in have that problem. In our new house the fireplaces have mesh over the glass and it's nowhere near as hot. Anyway, if he figures out how to turn the switch on you can always turn the gas off. It's a pain to use the fireplace, but at least he won't get burnt. I'd also look into a gate like Ame's. We're going to have to find some sort of "build-a-gate" for our new house. The stairs are wider at the bottom and there's nowhere to attach a gate once you get to where the wall is. It's weird and I'd have to post a picture to explain it. Good luck with finding something.

By Alberobello on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 07:28 pm:

How many steps are there in the staircase? are there five? why not let him get to used to them when you can watch him for a few days? Children are amazing at learning that sort of thing very quickly. That is if it's only five steps, i wouldn't let him if it was a long staircase. However, i can't talk from experience because we never had stairs.

By Boxzgrl on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 07:44 pm:

We never gated off the stairs. We just spent a lot of time teaching Kaitlyn how to walk up and down them. She fell a few times. Live and learn. She has probably been walking up and down them on her own for about a year now. We've never really had stair issues.

By Amecmom on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 07:58 pm:

IMHO it is better to gate the area. Then you know he is in a safe, small area, rather than wondering where in the house he is. It also teaches them to respect boundaries. Randy can obviously go up and down the stairs and can open the gate, but he knows that when the gate is closed, he is to stay in the playroom, which is what you see in the photo.

You can always open the gate if you find you don't need it. My feeling is always better too much prevention rather than having an accident.

You have the added hazzard of the fireplace, also.

Ame

By Heaventree on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 07:59 pm:

He can do the stairs ok by himself, but he's not careful. I have tired letting him go up and down on his own and he's fallen. The other problem is I don't want him to have unsupervised access to the kitchen and dining room if I'm in the family room nursing the baby. I caught him in the middle of the dining room table swinging the chandlier one day.

He just gets into everything. We have locks on everything, the foyer closet, the bottom of my bookshelves have cupboards they are locked. I have locked the fridge, dishwasher and the stove. The only thing I can't lock are my kitchen drawers. I have had to double lock some of the kitchen cupboards because he has figured out how to open them. I don't want to spend all day chasing after him or putting stuff away that he tears out of the cupboards. I guess he's just one of those kids. I know the locks sound excessive but I have tired to teach him not to pull everything out, but I have less time now that I have a 4 month old as well.

By Alberobello on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 08:05 pm:

Just wondering how it would be like to have a house with stairs. My son always says that he wants to live in one, probably because our house is tiny...poor lad! Me too, i'd love to have an upstairs area where to escape when the rest of the house is a mess. At the moment in my house when there is mess it's everywhere!

I think children need to learn how to move around the house. I was of the idea however that it was only from the living room to the play area so that just makes it two rooms to go around. But you are probably right, Ame and maybe a two year old is still too young. He will have plenty of time to learn.

By Tink on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 08:18 pm:

Usually, I'm in the camp of "Let him learn what is and isn't appropriate, instead of locking it away from him" but, with a young baby, that's really not a practical idea at the moment. I think Ame's gate is the best solution for a difficult problem. Good luck with it!

By Trina~moderator on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 08:42 pm:

I agree that a fireplace gate would be worth a try. Boy, do I remember those days! It's practically impossible to supervise a busy toddler while nursing an infant. We turned what was supposed to be our dining room into a big playpen by gating it off. No furniture, just an area rug and toys. What a God send! I could put DS in there and tend to DD without him getting into trouble.

By Kaye on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 08:53 pm:

Well I am also usually of the, it is about time to teach him. But understand when you have a baby in tow it is hard. We teach our kids, feet first on stairs, they go down on their belly's feet first. We moved into a stair house when my youngest was 18 months and we never gated. However, you have a couple other issues. If he falls down your stairs he could take a nasty blow to the hearth, so that needs some sort of protective covering. Instead of a big gate, I might invest in some sort of large knicknack, plant etc that would block off that area!

As far as cabinets. I tried to only put non breakables, things that were okay to pull out in the bottom cabinets (it sure helps that I moved pg and setting up house), but I need to put cleaners under the sink. They make the most amazing locks called "tot locks" they are magnets and you can only open them with the "key", so no prying little hands can get them to work. They are spendy, but worth EVERY penny. My youngest could remove door knobs when he needed to and got into EVERY thing, but those locks were amazing.

By Heaventree on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 09:42 pm:

Kaye, I just bought the tot lock, but it does not work on my drawers because of the way they are designed. I am going to try it out for under the sink though. I have all natural cleaners under the sink, no harmful stuff under there, but I still want to lock it up better. Funny though he has very little interest in this cupboard for some reason.

By Amecmom on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 09:56 pm:

My philosophy of teaching children owes a lot to what I learned from training a puppy. You give the puppy a small space and then gradually allow it to have the run of the house after it learns what it is and is not allowed to do.

I have done the same with my children. They do not climb or open cabinets because they have been redirected at their very first efforts to do those things. I can leave my 15 month old unsupervised in the playroom (for short periods) and know she will be fine.

My four year old, actually from the time he was three, could have the run of the house because he was trained in what he should and should not do.

I attribute this to luck on my part at having such good kids, and to having them in a small supervised space and then gradually giving them more and more freedom to explore.

It's not about learning to do the stairs, it's about peace of mind. In a controlled environment they will learn to respect boundaries.

At least that has been my experience.

Whatever you do, Cori, make sure you are comfortable that your children will be safe. I may have said it before, better to over protect when you can and have some peace of mind that you did everything you could to prevent an injury.

Ame

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 08:37 am:

Wow, Ame. That's my general philosophy about child-raising in general. My theory is to start with very tight and narrow boundaries (or rules) in everything. As the child grows, matures, behaves more responsibly, you move back the boundaries and ease up the rules a bit.

My theory is that, especially when they hit adolesence and teen years, kids measure how much they are "growing up" by whether the boundaries move back and how far they can go in testing the boundaries. If you start with really tight boundaries and move them back bit by small bit, you still have a lot of leeway when they hit those dangerous years. If you start with really wide boundaries or move them back too easily and quickly, in order to test the limits and try to move them back the kids have to try for really dangerous stuff.

I'd much rather argue or negotiate with a teen about moving the getting home deadline from 11:00 p.m. to Midnight, than whether they can stay out all night.

In re-reading, that reads a bit fuzzy, but I think y'all can figure it out.

By Heaventree on Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 01:26 pm:

Well DH went out to price the fencing and it would cost about $300 to cover that area, so my handy-dandy husband is going to build something.

He's out sourcing his materials right now, I hope for his sake that it doesn't cost $299 for materials. LOL!

Thanks for all the input.

By Ginny~moderator on Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 07:55 pm:

I was wondering, Cori, if one could make a wooden frame, and use that orange nylon mesh stuff that I see at some construction sites, or even heavy netting like a volleyball or tennis net. That *might* be a lot less expensive (I don't know what the netting costs), and would be fairly lightweight. Then just fasten it with hinges one one side, and a couple of child-proof latches on the other. Seeing your picture, I think you might want to take it up a bit so he doesn't climb up onto the fireplace hearth/ledge and from them to the stairs (or from the stairs to try walking on the hearth/ledge.

By Amecmom on Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 08:05 pm:

If you keep the current gate at the bottom of the stairs and just buy a hearth gate that goes like a three sided open rectangle in front of the fireplace you are looking at about $170. With a hearth gate, he won't be able to climb on the fireplace to use it as a stepping stone to the staircase and you already have a gate in front of the stairs.
Just type in fireplace gate or hearth gate and you will find a bunch.
Ame

By Heaventree on Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 08:15 pm:

Thanks you two but it's way too late. DH is project driven and this right up his alley. He went out bought all his materials and spent $200 on a nailer. What a lovely excuse to buy a new toy. Oh well, I'll let him have his fun. He's been out in the garage now for about 4 hours now and is nowhere near done. He walked in at about 6 pm and said "I have a dilemma". I just went on about my business like I didn't hear.

I knew he would do this. I'm not mad, just cranky as Saturdays are usually my days to do as I please and I know this project will take the whole weekend and Monday will be here all too soon. I'll post a picture when it's done. He built the fire place mantel in the photo and it looks fine, so hopefully this contraption he is building will look nice as well.

Well it's 8:15 and I'm pooped, my munchies are sleeping and I think that's just what I'll do as well. DH can sleep in the garage.

By Amecmom on Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 08:18 pm:

Oh, poor Cori! Hubby on a mission! Well, as long as the solution works. Just think how much easier it will be when it's done!
Nite, nite!
Ame

By Heaventree on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 06:22 pm:

Stair problem solved, check out the photo section for the finished result!