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Military Wives (Need advice here)

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive December 2005 : Military Wives (Need advice here)
By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 12:34 pm:

We are just making list after list of things to do and I'm just feeling overwhelmed...
What do we have to do before he goes overseas? Do you have any recommendations besides the obvious? He's in the army if that makes any difference.
Here is what I have so far:
1. Get power of attorney
2. Put his credit cards in my name too
3. Freeze sperm (in case he affected by chemical agents)
4. Figure out a budget (Do they pay him right away, while he's in training?)
5. Military ID
6. DEERS info updated
7. Tricare insurance (How can I get my pediatrician to take Tricare?)
8. Getting Scott a laptop and webcam for communication.
9. Get Scott to put toys together for Connor and things around the house.
10. Alarm system for house. (We have one set up but we don't use it now.)
11. We are selling his car so we don't have 2 car payments and insurance.

Anything else?

By Brandy on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 12:51 pm:

I can't give you much advice because i don't remember what we did although my husband was state side anyways i know on the tricare thing we had to change our doctor that i have had for 29 years and the boys have had since they were born because he didn't accept tricare at the time..

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 12:53 pm:

It's a lot different for reservists/ IRR. As far as freezing sperm, I don't know anyone who has done that before going, but if you feel it is something you have to do it can't hurt. There may be a 2-3 week delay in pay, because they need all of the direct deposit info to be sent to DFAS in Indiana. Family separation pay will begin 30 days after he's gone, but is retroactive. He won't receive combat pay or anything like that until he sets foot in a combat zone. So, you are looking at base pay, BAS, and BAH right now. As for the Tricare, if your Ped is not a tricare provider you will have to change. You'll have to check Tricare's website for a list of local providers. Make sure his SGLI is updated. Call your credit card companies and loan companies, and ask them to reduce your APRs, if they are over 6%. Your situation falls under the Civil Service Act, so you have a lot of helpful "protections" at your disposal. If there are financial difficulties while he is gone, due to pay cut, or delays, you will be protected. Make sure you have copies of his orders!!! Let me say that again. HAVE LOTS OF COPIES!! Everyone and their brother will want one. Make sure he has an updated will, and you have the right type of POA. Good luck, sweetie... we're here for you.

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 12:57 pm:

Working in healthcare, I can only help with the TriCare question. I wish it were a simple answer to get your pediatrician to participate with TriCare. Unfortunately, it's not. It's all about contracting and reimbursement.

Long story short (we're talking 30 words or less), even if your ped. decided today to par with Tricare. It would take 60-90 days to go through their credentialing process and to be approved. This is only in the perfect world. Our hospital and practices, it took almost 6 months.

Good luck!

By Boxzgrl on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 01:22 pm:

I'd also get a Special POA on top of a regular one. Banks generally do not take POA's (nor do they have to) so make sure anything to do with the bank is resolved before he leaves. I've seen a lot of military wives run into problems with the bank.

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 01:40 pm:

I called our pediatrician and they said "as long as it's the 'general' Tricare". They are taking patients that use Tricare right now. So, does that help me?

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 01:41 pm:

Definitely, get your bank's power of attorney form, as Melissa is right - most banks will not accept any other form. You want a property/assets power of attorney for everything else, and the legal office on the base or a lawyer working with your dh's unit should have that available. Check all insurance policies and any retirement programs, etc., to make sure the beneficiary is listed as you want it. If you have any investment accounts, be sure to get their power of attorney forms also. Most powers of attorney and some beneficiary forms need to be notarized, so try to do them all at once to minimize costs, and get at least two copies of each form notarized, one to send to the entity and one for your files.

Crystal is right, there are a number of protections. I was never in your situation, but I remember many years ago, when my husband was called up for a year's active training (which he didn't do, as he had a medical condition, and this was back in the days of the draft), we could have gotten out of our apartment lease with no penalty if he had actually gone. I do know that at least in Pennsylvania, you cannot sue a person on active military duty until they are no longer on active duty.

One thing to think about - possibly doing a health care surrogate power of attorney for a trusted family member for you, in case - heaven forbid - you are in a serious accident or have some sudden medical condition - and some sort of document to give that trusted person the care of your children in case of that kind of emergency. I don't like to raise such issues, but I know it is better to be prepared than not.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 02:03 pm:

"General" Tricare is probably referring to Tricare Standard. This has more out of pocket expense, but it's not too bad. I used Standard in FL when I first got pregnant with the kids. Call Tricare, or go to the local office (If you are near a base) to discuss the specifics of Standard, and the cost shares.

By Boxzgrl on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 02:45 pm:

Tricare standard may be a better decision for you if you are nowhere near a base. I think you have to get a prior authorization if you are not seen at a MTF (Military Treatment Facility) through Tricare Prime. I don't know if reservists have the same co-pay but for active duty the co-pay for Standard isn't bad at all.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 03:05 pm:

Reservists on Active Duty do have the same co-pay, when I was on it my ex was NG, but activated post-9/11. If you are on Prime, and more than 50 miles away from a MTF, you can choose your primary care doc out of the providers, but the list is often scarce. The Standard list gives more options.

By Enchens on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 03:34 pm:

I looked at your list, and though I can't offer any help from the military wife side of it, I can say something in regards to credit cards. When my husband and I got married, we got rid of my credit cards and added my name to all of his. Well, come to find out, I could not activate cards or have any say so on what to do for any of those accounts. Apparently, there are two ways to be on the account. One is as an authorized user. This means you can use the card, but cannot do anything with the account. The other is a joint account holder (or something to that effect.) This second way makes you also responsible for the account. Just thought I'd let you know so that you don't run into any trouble with cc companies.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 04:04 pm:

Ditto Nancy...do keep that in mind. Do you have your own credit cards? Can you just use those, transfer any balances, and file his away for the time being?

By Kym on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 04:08 pm:

Hiedi, I'm civilian but live near an army base. I know there are many organizations that "tend" to mothers/wives of deployed soldiers, you may want to attend a function with them before he leaves, they may have insight on things to do as well as become a support system while he is there.

Our hearts are with you, and our gratitude is with your dh

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 09:39 pm:

THANKS EVERYONE!! You guys have been so helpful...
I also wanted to ask if Scott's college loans, from the US Dept of Ed, can be deferred while he's deployed? Just curious...

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 09:43 pm:

Call them. Here is a link for the SCRA, it will tell you more about your legal protections (lower mortgage APR too!!) and you can use it when you check with the Dept of Ed.

By Enchens on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 11:25 pm:

Yes, college loans can be deferred. You just fill out a form and mark the reason. Also, you may want to look into whether or not the loans can be partially or totally forgiven.

By Pamt on Wednesday, December 28, 2005 - 11:56 pm:

No advice, but WOW--so much to do! (((Heidi)))

By Insaneusmcwife on Thursday, December 29, 2005 - 07:51 am:

I've not been on much lately but do we know yet if he is headed over to the sand box? I haven't had time to read all the other posts but if he is, if I were you I would hold off on that laptop unless its really somthing you were wanting to keep at home incase his command says its a no go. The first deployment over there was an absolute no go for us for the laptop. The second deployment was only for essential personel, my husband was one of them and we wish he would have just left it home. He was not able to have internet hooked up to it and it came back very dusty, inside and out not to mention they had to have the hard drives completly erased before they brought them back. They will most likely have computers with internet set up that he can use over there.
-Dh bought a portable dvd player that he could watch movies on/listen to cd's. Depending on the model you get, you can send Cd's with pictures on them for him too!
-while you are on the phone with the credit card companies, talk to them about the soldiers and sailors act. They should stop the interest rates on them for you while he is over there. You may have to talk to a supervisor because they will try the, I don't know what you are talking about bit. Be prepared to fax over his orders with your POA.
-Take lots and lots of pictures before he goes.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, December 29, 2005 - 08:20 am:

If you are not already listed on all of his accounts through the bank you must go to the bank and have their POA filled out.. Because it will be a pain in the rear other wise. My BIL was deployed (NG) for 18 months. Every time my sister would try to transfer funds through the auto banking line, to their account it was very upsetting. She would have to go in to the local branch, in person, with all her paper work (POA and his order papers) to get anything done.. It upset her every time. If he had filled out the POA through the bank it would have listed her on his work account which was where they had the guard money direct deposited. They did this because their logic was... He had a debit on the work account, he could use the debit and she wouldn't have to check the balances. He knew that the funds in there would be so much per pay roll and he had access to the much. Basically, there wouldn't be any issues with not being able to call and say "honey, I used X amount out of the debit to buy calling cards." or other needed items and he wasn't doing with out because he knew how much funds he had. But with out the POA through the bank she had to jump hoops every time. Another suggestion would be to set up a contact person through your bank. Meaning someone you deal with directly when you call in. A contact person that is aware of the situation,so you don't have to explain it over and over. Like I said it upset my sister every time she had to explain. And being a non military town the number of NG people are low, so it meant explaining to a lot of people.

You will need to change doctors. It takes a lot of time for a non tri care doctor to get on the tri care contract. Military/government, shouldn't be a surprise there.. And considering that they won't need the tri care contract after the tour is over, if your DH and the people deployed through that office is low it isn't economically wise for them to even consider signing up to take the insurance. But there will be doctors that will take it in your area. I worked at a Ped's office when we (America) first went active and we had parents calling in saying they would be back. But I do know that once he is activated you will receive the same coverage as an active duty officer. My sister was PG when BIL was deployed and tri care covered the whole pregnancy.

Like said above.. Make copies of everything. Because everyone will want their own copy of his deployment and of your POA.

And you want to contact anyone you carry a loan through. You do get a lower interest rate for being active.


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