DH is being deployed

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive December 2005 : DH is being deployed

I'm just sobbing....
I just got a Western Union telemail in the mail today, notifying us that Scott has to report to Ft. Benning, GA in 3 weeks.

I'm totally blindsided by this as Scott is in Inactive Ready Reserve and hasn't even done any reserve time since we left the army 2 1/2 years ago. He's being deployed with a Ft. Bragg team for a period of (not more than) 545 days.

I just don't know what to do. I have no support out here as family is over 4 hours away.

What's worse is that DH is in Colorado right now. I called him sobbing...he's taking the earliest flight back.

I've never been this sad in all my life.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 01:06 pm:

Oh Heidi..I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say or how to comfort except to say that we'll be thinking of you and your family.

By Colette on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 01:08 pm:

(((Heidi))) I am thinking of you and your family.

By Trina~moderator on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 01:22 pm:

(((((Heidi)))))

By Tink on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 01:25 pm:

Heidi, I can't imagine what you are going through. Please know that we're here for you. {{{Heidi}}}

By Cat on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 01:29 pm:

Oh, Heidi. I'm so sorry. I'm sending major hugs, Girl. {{{{{Heidi}}}}}

By Nicki on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 01:29 pm:

Heidi, I'm so sorry! What a shock this must be for you.

Being away from family is hard, especially now. We will be here for you. It's not the same as having family nearby, but I can tell you have many who love you here! Just wish it was possible to give real hugs...you need some right now.

Nicki

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 01:34 pm:

I'm so sorry. My friend at work's DH is in the middle of a tour of duty in Iraq. She just takes it a day at a time.

By Boxzgrl on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 02:17 pm:

I'm sorry. It must have been a relief leaving the Army behind only to have this thrown your way. I'll be thinking of your family. Does he know how long he's going for?

By Beth on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 03:47 pm:

I am so sorry! I hope that you can move next to some of your family. I can't even imagine. My dh went to the first gulf war. Well I should say he was called up, trained and it ended before he actually left Germany. But he was in college and it really was not what he expected in his first year of college. We were not even dating then so I can only imagine how I would feel. ((HUGS))

By Kernkate on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 04:03 pm:

{{{Heidi}}}

By Missbookworm on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 04:12 pm:

Heidi

I'm soooo sorry. I know it's not the same as having family nearby but we (I) love you and will be here for you as much as an online family can be.

((((((((((((((((((((((( Heidi )))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love me who wishes she could do more than just type hugs to you here

By Cybermommyx4 on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 04:48 pm:

{{{HEIDI}}} I am so sorry to hear this. I can't even IMAGINE how you must feel right now. Your family will be in our prayers. Know that we are here for you, even though we can't be THERE.

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 06:25 pm:

Thanks everyone...it's exhausting just to even think about it. There's just this huge pit in my stomach and my eyes are all dried up.
It's so nice to know you guys are there for us. It really means the world to me.
{{HUGS BACK}}
(Melissa, we aren't sure how long he'll be gone, but the letter said it was for no more than 545 days. It said that on his brother's letter when he left a year ago and now he's back.)
I feel so bad for his parents too...they just got their other son back from Iraq and now Scott is being deployed.
They are angry to say the least.

By Conni on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 06:44 pm:

Oh no! I am sorry. I have been offline for 2 days and am just now reading this.

By Agreen on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 06:44 pm:

(((Heidi)))

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is being deployed. Please know that I have you and your family in my prayers.

Angela

By Melanie on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 06:48 pm:

((((HUGS))))) I am so sorry.

By Annie2 on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 07:30 pm:

Heidi,,,hugs!!! Are you sure he's being deployed to Iraq or may be staying stateside?

By Heaventree on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 08:09 pm:

Heidi,

I'm so sorry to hear about Scott. We are all here to support you through this.

((((HUGS))))

By Amecmom on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 08:13 pm:

Heidi - hugs - I am so sorry this has happened now. You are strong and you will get through it. You may not have family close by, but you have friends, especially the neighbor you help out whose husband is serving in Iraq. She will be able to help you.

There are really no words, except to say that I am so grateful and humbled by the sacrifice your family and all the military families are making so that the rest of us can have a greater degree of safety. Thank you.

And of course you have us.

You will be in my prayers.
Ame

By Mom2three1968 on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 08:43 pm:

Heidi- I'm feel for you really I do, to repeat what ame said you are one strong person you'll be fine. Just keep a stiff upper lip. My dh is retired military I know. You'll get through it don't worry and you'll be better for it. You and yours are in my thoughts too...

Kelly

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 09:14 pm:

Thanks so much for all of your kind words...I have read and re-read all of them.
Annie, I don't think that they would be training him at Ft. Benning, GA for a desk job stateside, but I would be STOKED if that were the case.
There are a lot of variables, you're right, but I'm prepared for the worst. Especially if he's being with a group from Ft. Bragg, NC. He is ex- air defense and used to be with the 82nd airborne.

I'm going through cycles of shock, uncontrollable tears, and anger...it was so hard to hear Connor say "daddy!" today...ugh.

By Insaneusmcwife on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 10:03 pm:

{{{{Heidi}}} I'm not going to lie to you, separation whether stateside or overseas is going to be hard. We are here for you. I've been through 2 deployments in the last 2 years so if you need to talk feel free to email me. My email is in my profile.

By Kateg on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 10:19 pm:

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

By Mrsheidi on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 10:21 pm:

Thanks, Kristie. If he stays stateside, we will probably just move to wherever he is, but that would be hard as well.
Thanks for your helping words...I always thought I empathized with miliary wives whose husbands are deployed, but when it's a reality in your own home, it just throws your world upside down.
Luckily, I have a neighbor whose DH is also deployed right now and our boys are the same age. I've been helping her out by watching her boy for 2 hours a week (sometimes more...he's SO adorable) for free, just so she can get some alone time. So, she has been a good ear to lean on.
I feel like such a wuss though. She's been through 2 deployments in the past 2 years too and here I am just bawling on the phone to her. But, she definitely understands and is quite helpful.
And, so are you guys...thanks so much. You are a family to me too.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 09:24 am:

(((((( HUGS ))))))

By Rayanne on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 10:46 am:

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
I am so sorry sweetie. We are all here for you.

By Vicki on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 12:05 pm:

((((( hugs )))))

By Amyk on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 12:15 pm:

Dear Heidi -

I so admire the sacrifices that you and other military families are making for the rest of us. I'm so glad you have your son to keep you busy - this time will go by fast and 20 years from now will just be a blip on your radar screen. Have a wonderful holiday.

By Bellajoe on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 01:10 pm:

Heidi,

I'm so sorry I don't know what else to say.
(((BIG HUGS))) to you, your dh and little Conner.

By Yjja123 on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 01:44 pm:

((((HUGS)))) I am so sorry!!

By Jtsmom on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 04:47 pm:

I am sorry, I know how you are feeling and I am always here for you if you need to talk.

By Andi on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 05:23 pm:

Heidi,
I am so sorry!!! We are all here for you if you need to talk. I will be thinking about you guys.

By Sue3 on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 07:36 pm:

(((Heidi)))
thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Know that we are here when you feel sad or alone.

By Breann on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 07:46 pm:

So sorry

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 07:51 pm:

Gosh, as I've never had to deal with this, I don't know quite what to say, except I'm sorry. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

By Emily7 on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 08:36 pm:

((((Heidi)))

By Tayjar on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 08:41 pm:

Oh, Heidi. I just want to give you a big hug right now and let you cry your heart out.

Vent away. We are here for you. I don't have any experience with this but there are lots of ladies on this board that do.

Big hugs and prayers coming your way.

By Paulas on Sunday, December 18, 2005 - 09:42 pm:

Please explain all this to me. I'm not really sure what Inactive reserve means. I would think that someone would only be called to serve in an emergency, such as in a time of war. What does your husband do?

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

By Pamt on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 11:38 am:

(((((Heidi)))))

By Mrsheidi on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 12:26 pm:

Thanks everyone. I am going to read and re-read this post for support. It helps me cope when I know all this.
Paulas, Inactive Ready Reserve is a reserve status that is basically the "lowest" level of reserves. He is a government contractor right now, but he was in the army for 4 1/2 years and got out. His active army contract though kept going in the reserve status. It was suppose to expire in May 2006, so they called him back into active duty.
I'm just so sad. So overwhelmed. There's so much to do and so little time to do it.

By My3cuties on Monday, December 19, 2005 - 07:25 pm:

Oh, Heidi! I haven't been on in a while and I just seen this post. It is so hard for me to even think about DH being gone for more than a week, I can only imagine what you are going through. ((((HUGS))))

I think alot of the ladies here have given you alot of encouragement. I don't have anything to add but a sincere sorry.

By Alberobello on Tuesday, December 20, 2005 - 04:46 pm:

Oh Heidi, when i first read the post i didn't undderstand what it meant so i didn't want to ask silly questions but i just read another post where you mention your dh going to Iraq, is that correct? If this is right, i am so sorry darling, it must be so hard for you both. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Many hugs to you.

By Jelygu on Wednesday, December 21, 2005 - 10:44 pm:

Heidi, I have been away for so long and I have been catching up so I just read this. I am so sorry that you are going through this. It must be so hard for you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, December 22, 2005 - 06:29 pm:

Thanks you guys...it's been quite a shock.
3 weeks and counting...

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, December 22, 2005 - 06:31 pm:

Heidi, are you moving right away, with him?

By Breann on Thursday, December 22, 2005 - 08:23 pm:

Oh, is he staying stateside?!! That is great!

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, December 22, 2005 - 09:23 pm:

No, he's going to Ft. Benning on Jan 15th to train for a month. Then, he's going to Ft. Bragg to train for another month.
We are 90% sure he's going to Iraq. I'm not moving anywhere. I am going to visit him in Georgia and then at Ft. Bragg to send him off.
It's breaking his heart to even think of leaving Connor...it's SO sad to see.
We're selling both cars so I can get a 4x4 to see my mom up in the mountains and so we don't have 2 car payments.
So much to do...so little time!

By Karen~moderator on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 08:02 am:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

By Insaneusmcwife on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 08:45 am:

I'm so sorry. I'm just an email away if you need anything. If you want you can email me and I'll give you my number so we can talk if you need me.

By Juli4 on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 08:54 am:

Good luck. I know it is very difficult. Tell him thank you for what he is willing to sacrafice and do for all of us. Through your pain be sure to feel pride for your husband and what he does. It seems so long and it is, but you will get through it and how wonderful it will be once you do. Good luck.

By Cocoabutter on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 02:40 pm:

I hear that troops are scheduled for withdrawal from Iraq after the first of the year, which could possibly be the first of a series of withdrawals in the coming year. Could it be that the worst may be coming to an end? Is he just going in for rebuilding?

I understand you are worried. I don't know how I would react since I have never been in that position. So, just keep in mind that you have a wonderful husband who is willing to answer to a higher, most noble calling. And you can be proud to call yourself that man's wife.

So, come here to whine and drivel and snort. But stay strong for your dh. He needs to know that your strength will keep the home fire burning for him.

I will say a prayer for you. Thank-you for your sacrifice and please say thank-you to your husband for me.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 04:09 pm:

Lisa, that is what I have been hearing too.. Lets all pray this is all coming to an end and soon...

I agree, come here any time you need to..

By Missbookworm on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 04:26 pm:

Heidi I'm still so sorry this is happening! I'm so glad you're going to be able to get up into the mountains to see your mom.

I have an internet friend who's out of Ft. Bragg. He was sent out to Iraq months ago and I still haven't heard anything. I say prayers for him and all the men and families out there everyday and I will be for your family too.

(((((( Heidi ))))))

By Mrsheidi on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 07:00 pm:

Thanks for all of your words, everyone. It's so hard not to think about it all the time.
Thanks, Kristie, I will keep you in mind. That was very thoughtful of you.
Scott said that I'm being stronger than he thought and that I'm making some good decisions...ie, stay here in MD, sell both cars to get a 4x4, and to visit Benning/Bragg. I think he had a different plan in mind but he said that he's proud of me and respects my decisions. He's worried I'll be lonely, but I do have a pretty good support network out here. And, my family is going to fly me and Connor out to Iowa and other places.
I'm just trying not to think of it...but I will cry here in the future, I'm sure of it!!

By Karen~moderator on Friday, December 23, 2005 - 07:07 pm:

Well, feel free to let it all out here, we are here for you. I've never experienced what all of you military wives/moms go through, so I can only imagine how tough and stressful it is. And I think you are making some really practical decisions at this point. Hang in there!!!