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Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive November 2005: What happened to simple ETIQUETTE!!! *tell me what you all think*
For some reason, this really gets on my nerves.
I think thats just rude......totally rude! Is she going to have a 3rd shower for toddler clothes?
Yes, that would definitely turn me off. That's really annoying.
Rude. Just being invited to 2 showers is rude IMO.
Well, I guess I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt...maybe the shower invitations were from different people? Maybe they assumed you felt bad for not being able to come to the other and invited you to this one? As far as telling you what to bring, I guess it's kind of rude, but lots of showers these days have "themes," and if that's what she really needs, I don't see any harm. As far as having a shower with the 3rd baby, friends are the ones that are supposed to be giving them, so if a friend of mine asked me if they could throw me a shower, I doubt I'd decline! JMHO
I think it's rude of her to invite you to both showers, actually having two showers. But as far as her telling you what to bring, I don't agree with the size clothing that she asked for, First of all if it's a as she grows shower, doesn't she think the child will grow beyond 6-9 clothing, maybe if she just made the statement grow with me shower she would get a nice size assortment of gifts to actually grow with the child. Secondly: if you think she is rude to tell you what to bring, then so are all of the dozen of people that sign up for gift regristrey's thats the same thing in my book and I can't stand to get a invite and have it read we are regristered @.
Totally rude and tacky.
I think I would be more put off by the fact that you were invited to both. If you had attended the first one, would she still have invited you to the second one and asked for another gift? I don't see a problem about having a theme, or putting on the invitation what she needs for the baby. Heck, with my 2nd ds, we had a diaper party because I had so much stuff already. It was great. I would rather buy something that the person needed, then have them not use my gift. But, the multiple invitations is a little much. I had 2 showers with my first ds, but the same people weren't invited to both.
I think there may be a misunderstanding. She may have had two different friends give her a shower and you were one friend that happened to be on both lists. Some friends are more organized then others and they may have picked the theme for her. I definitly wouldn't have been offened. All babies are important no matter what # you have. They all deserve a special party for their arrival in this world. Just my 2 cents.
Well, I also like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I would also like to think that maybe they either got lists crossed, or if you are a good friend, she might have thought since you couldn't come to the last one that you might like to come to this one. How good of friends are you? Even though you couldn't go to the shower, are you close enough that you still got her a gift??
I have to admit that I'm feeling like Stori is. I had multiple showers for my first baby because I had different groups of friends. One was just close and extended family, one was my friends from school and another was all women from my church. I don't think it's rude to have a shower for her third child, I don't think it's rude to be invited to two of them (if you weren't able to attend the first one) and "diaper showers" are very popular around here for 2nd and 3rd babies. "Around-the-clock showers" are common with bridal showers and I've felt very limited in what I could buy for the times I've been assigned but I'm not offended by the idea of them. Maybe it's a generational or regional difference.
Well, it's her first girl, so I'm betting that's why she's having multiple showers. I don't mind an 'as she grows' shower, but I don't think you should be limited to clothes. It should be ANYthing appropriate for a six to nine month old. I wouldn't be upset about the whole thing, I would merely RSVP one way or the other and not feel badly about it in any way. Also, I wouldn't feel badly about going and NOT bringing a six to nine month clothing item. If you go, take whatever you like! You're the one buying the gift, so you have the control.
I guess some of it depends on how close of a friend it is. I would be offended if a couple of my friends had several showers and I wasn't invited to all of them. It is up to me to bring a gift or not. I had showers with my first two kids (they are only 19 months apart) and then someone threw a diaper dash a year later for my third. It felt weird, but when a friend says, I want to honor you and this baby, why turn them down. People didn't have to come to any of my showers and my friends all knew we were just having a baby celebration, no gifts were needed. If my friends don't have showers I always bring a gift to the hospital or when I visit, so I prefer a shower that way I don't have to deal with it later (sometimes it a month later). As for a themed shower, maybe it could be worded differently. Again you have the choice to comply or not comply, but I love a good theme, makes for a cute scrapbook page.
Yes and no.
I guess she must have forgotten that the purpose of a shower is simply to welcome the new life, not to fund their childhood expense fund. I myself was a bit confused about the purpose of a shower when I was PG for my ds (9) and my grandma told me that it is just for the fun frilly stuff and not for the necessities- those are my responsibility.
Overall, I'm with those who say that much depends on whether she is a good friend, or just a friend/acquaintance. Yes, more than one friend can be hosting showers. (I would like to think that the mom-to-be is NOT hosting any of the showers - that would be definitely a Miss Manners no-no.) And lots of parties have themes, so again, I'd be inclined to think it is no big deal. Especially as this is the first girl, she probably has a house full of boy stuff, and would like some pink and ruffles. (My son and dil didn't know what gender they were expecting so all the baby clothes given to them were gender neutral colors - she was literally tickled *pink* when I showed up Sunday with a bunch of pink and ruffly stuff.)
I would be a tiny bit put off by 2 invites, but I think I would give the benefit of the doubt and say that she wanted you to come and welcome the impending arrival of the new baby in a social setting. As far as which # baby it is, I never needed an excuse to go baby clothes shopping
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