My parents are elderly and my dad isn't physically well, and we are looking at the hard reality of him having to go to a care home and my childhood home being sold. The basement is chock-full of stuff of mine and my brother and sister! Photos, old toys, books, scrapbooks, school stuff, things we had in college...you name it. I shudder to think of going through it all, but I'm determined to make a start when I go to visit for Thanksgiving. As sentimental as I am, I don't know how to actually throw things out, but I know I don't have room for it all at my own house. Some things could go to Goodwill, but most of it means nothing, except to me. How do I choose, and what do I do with the rest? Landfill? I wish I could burn it all... I think I could handle that more than thinking of my stuff rotting with the garbage somewhere.
Any advice? There's a lot of emotion in this situation.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, November 17, 2005 - 12:07 pm:

I think at this point you should keep what you feel semtimental about. If it's a lot, it's a lot IMO. It seems like this is an emotional time overall with what might be happening with your dad and selling the house, so it's probably not a good time to throw things away, you know? Maybe not a good time to make decisions that are so sentimental. Maybe just cleaning it out and storing it, if not at home then in a small unit, until things have settled down a bit and emotions aren't so high. An opportunity may present itself at some point, with regard to toys and such, where you may be able to give it to someone that will use and feel good about doing that. Just a thought! Good luck getting started. It sounds like a big project and I'm sure it will be difficult.

By Reds9298 on Thursday, November 17, 2005 - 12:41 pm:

Yikes! "sentimental"!

By Rayanne on Thursday, November 17, 2005 - 01:05 pm:

I agree with Deanna.

By Kaye on Thursday, November 17, 2005 - 02:00 pm:

Having lost two mothers in a little over 6 years, boy do I know about STUFF. I will say for me it only weighed me down. Strangely enough I have the memories and sentiments without the stuff. I took pictures of things that I wanted to see. Literally I have a garage full of things that I couldn't even sort through. Personally I needed to look through and purge. I know my mother wouldn't of wanted me to spend weeks upon weeks sorting her things, and that is not the legacy I want to leave my children. I keep a handful of special things, but mostly I am not a keeper any more. I scrapbook, and write stories about stuff if I think it is that important.

By Pamt on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 09:59 am:

I would keep photos and scrapbooks, and get rid of the rest. I am quite sentimental and used to save everything, but Flylady has really changed my attitude on all of that. You still have the memories, so why do we need to hold on to the stuff. You'll probably never, ever look at old school papers and art projects and then you'll be leaving your DDs ultimately in the same place you are---having to decide what to keep and throw out, even stuff that has no emotional attachment to them except that it was important to you. I wouldn't throw out anything immediately. Wait 6 months of so until you emotions are more in check.

By Janet on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 12:20 pm:

You're right, I know. A good friend of mine, who has lost both parents, told me it's better to find one or two VERY important things to keep, rather than try to keep it all. Wish me luck!

By Sunny on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 12:54 pm:

My suggestion would be to buy a Rubbermaid container how ever big you feel you have room for, go through everything important to you, add special items to the bin and tell yourself, 'Once the bin is full, I'm done.' Later, you can always go back through the bin and get rid of more things, but it will be neatly packed away and it won't be so overwhelming. Only you can determine what is worthy of keeping and what you want to hold on to, but knowing you have a limit will help weed out the really sentimental items from the clutter. When my siblings and I did this, we gave away a few items, donated other items and then had a yard sale for the rest.
I happen to have two bins. One is full of photos, the other is filled with items that are important to me and I would like one day to share with my kids since they were cheated out of having my parents be there for their childhood. I think of it as a family history lesson with visuals (for my kids). What they do with the stuff when I'm gone is up to them.