...your wedding album (and you are now divorced and remarried)?
My ex gave me our wedding album recently (I have photos, but he always kept the "big" one for reasons I can't recall), and after my 15 yr old dd (his dd)looked through it, I put it away, but I'm wondering if she'll ever really want it. We are both remarried with other kids... I have kept my wedding memorabilia, I guess to give to her someday. I asked her if she wanted it, and she kind of fudged around, so I told her she could decide later. Any opinions?

By Christylee on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 06:51 pm:

I'd keep it. You are both are her parents and she might want to see your wedding and you guys at a time when you were together. It's a part of your (and HER) history, had that not happened she wouldn't be here today...

By Missbookworm on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 07:21 pm:

My ex has all that stuff. I don't know if he's going to keep it or not. I have some pictures that my mother had that she sent me JUST in case he doesn't and the children are wanting to see them. So I have something at least.

I would keep it. When she's older she might decide she wants it.

By Kaye on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 07:38 pm:

i think keeping a few photos is a great idea. But holding on to stuff that makes you unhappy or brings about ugly thoughts isn't good for anyone. Really is she going to want to marry in a dress that has a history of a broken marriage? I would only hold on to stuff if it has happy memories associated. And even then, I think it would be limited stuff.

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 07:45 pm:

I threw mine out. I should have kept it. Jen has asked for wedding pics of her parents more than once recently. It makes me feel so bad that I threw them away now.

My parents divorced when I was 12, and I still have some of their wedding pics. It's sort of like having a link to a small, happy part of my childhood. I wish I'd kept mine, just for the kids' sake.

By Annie2 on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 10:51 pm:

I wouldn't throw it out. Pictures are a view into the past. Good or bad. Once you throw them out; they are lost forever. Children are made while in a union. Tossing away the happy times, while that child was made, would invalidate them, IMO. Family history should be kept.

I would, however, tuck it away in the attic or someplace out of the way, for years down the line.

By Kateg on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 11:29 pm:

I saved all my stuff. It's packed away for my DD when she gets older. It's a part of her history & she deserves to have that if she wants it. I have remarried since & she has that, but she wonders about those things. It's definitely not something I have an interest in looking at, but for her, it's there.

By Emily7 on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 12:15 am:

My mother gave hers to my grandma to hold on to & now I have it. When my mom remarried my biological dad gave us for adoption, so seeing it was important to me. It is really all I have of some one that helped to give me life.

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 07:55 am:

Exactly, Annie. Mine WERE in the attic for a long time, and when we cleaned it out, I toss the pics, and I have regretted it.

By Janet on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 09:37 am:

Oh, my dress was sold a long time ago. What I have are the photos and some odds and ends from that time (scrapbook stuff). I'm so sentimental, I don't think I could ever throw it out. I was just wondering what the general consensus was!

By My3cuties on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 09:56 am:

I'll tell you from the daughter's end...that yes you should keep it. I had to get the pictures I have of my mom and dads wedding from my dads mom. I love to see them at a time when they were together and happy. I also have just random pictures of them together and some of her pregnant with me, I think its neat. please let her make the decision later when she is married even cause I think it means more to me now than it did when I was younger. I would have kicked myself if I would have turned them down and my grandma would have thrown them away when I was 15. Thats me though...

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 02:47 pm:

Well, I didn't actually marry the guy, but we did go out for 5 years. When I reached the point that I didn't want reminders around anymore. I threw everything out, except a few photographs. I still have them. He is in the past, but he was part of my life. I still don't regret it. Anything else that reminded me of him is gone, though!

By Bea on Thursday, November 17, 2005 - 01:29 am:

Before my Dad's Alzheimers became too advanced, we sat down and sorted all his pictures. He was always a camera nut. We took several boxes and simply sorted them into families. My brother and his first wife had 3 kids and when I later offered their family pictures to them, they were ecstatic. Their parents had thrown away so many of their married pictures. The (now grown) kids wanted pictures of the happy times when they were a family.

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, November 17, 2005 - 11:17 am:

We have dh's wedding pics, etc. They are in a box stowed away. Dh has never gotten them out to look at them. I don't care one way or the other. They are a part of his past that occurred long before we ever met. He was divorced for 3 years before we met. The pics don't bother me. I just would never want to hear something like "she was the love of my life" or "those were the really good times". Then the pics might go. He doesn't say much about his first marriage at all. What little he does isn't pleasant. And he says they are just pics. And maybe the kids might be interested in seeing them someday. Regardless, they take up a small place in my home and don't bother me. And I think dh likes the fact that they don't bother me.