I am always a little amused at how families can be so different. My FIL is moving to Austin, he will be arriving on Sunday to go to temporary housing. They don't officially have a house yet, so his wife will follow in a week or so. He has a furnished apartment and will just be taking his clothes for a bit. Movers are packing and moving everything. So we happen to have a campout scheduled in austin this weekend. I mentioned to him that since he was coming in on Sunday, maybe we could meet for a late lunch or something 2 or 3(it does happen to be his grandson's birthday). Now he does have a four hour drive and we have a three hour drive, but currently we are 5 hours apart. He said, "sorry, I will have to take a rain check. I probably won't leave until 2". Okay, well whatever, this is our first time camping in that area, not like we do it alot, heck we don't camp that much, and they never get to spend bdays with the kids. My dad on the other hand lives about and hour and a half from where we are camping (still 5 hours between us). I told him what we were doing and he said "great expect two more for dinner sat night, we are coming to see you, we will get a hotel and take the birthday boy (and family) out for breakfast". Since I grew up with that type of dad, and learned that family is worth a little hassle, it always catches me off guard when his family doesn't see it that way.

By Bellajoe on Thursday, October 27, 2005 - 05:36 pm:

yes, families are very different.

My dh's family is very different from mine. His parents immagrated here from Italy about 32 years ago. He has one brother who is pretty much a recluse. When we go to their house for dinner, it is a pretty quiet dinner. Nothing exciting. She makes WAY to much food for just 7 people and then tries to force it down your throat when you are full . And his family NEVER goes out to eat at restaurants, and they NEVER go on vacations...ever.

I grew up with 4 siblings. We went on vacation every year. We always camped because that is what mom and dad could afford for a family of 7. Getting my family together (all brothers and sisters and their families) for dinner is quite the experience. Its loud, very active and there is always a lot of laughing!

Only one of my brothers and my mom still live in town, the rest of them moved at least 4 hours away. So when i found out my mom was going to Chicago to visit one of my brothers for Christmas, then my brother who lives here was thinking about going out of town for christmas, i BEGGED him to stay here! It is no fun having Christmas with my dh's family, especially when you are used to a lot of people and activity on that day!

By Debbie on Friday, October 28, 2005 - 08:37 am:

My parents and my in-laws are totally different. My parents are very hand-on with our dks. They will keep them overnight, bath them, really get down and play with them, etc. Now, my in-laws, love them to death, but the are not as hands on. You know, my MIL once made a comment that she felt she could say more and do more with her daughter's children, then ours. She feels like, even in today's society, it is still the Mom's primary responsibility for raising children. So, it is easier to say something to her daughters, or to get involved with her daughter's children. Though, I may not agree, I see where she is coming from. My parents also really put an effort in to see our dks as much as possible. My in-laws don't put in the effort and see them just once or twice a year.

Also, our family doesn't really get into everyone else's business. We talk to each other and share alot. But, dh's family is really into everyone else's lives. They know all the dirt about everyone. Except dh, we are the only ones that don't live close to everyone and share everything.

So, yes. I totally know what you mean. My family and dh's are completely different.

Kaye, where are you going camping in Austin?

By Missbookworm on Friday, October 28, 2005 - 10:15 am:

My partner's parents and him and his children are very involved in each other's lives. They have dinner every week. They take care of his boy for him when he needs it (if he's sick and can't go to school etc.) and they take a one week camping trip away together every year (his parents, the kids, and spouses and his brother and sister)

My family well....we don't talk much if at all. My two youngest children don't even know them to see them and don't even talk to them on the phone.

By Momofmax on Saturday, October 29, 2005 - 06:30 am:

Yes, families are different. Isn't it funny how you can fall in love with someone who's from a family that lives so differently from the way you live? After 12 years of marriage I still can't predict how my husband's family will react to things. Actually, I can predict it - by realizing it will be exactly opposite of how I would react! Just last week I had to talk my dh into informing his sister that his mother was rushed to the hospital after a car accident and was addmitted to ICU. FIL wouldn't call her because he didn't want to worry her. She is definitely not a worry wort, like myself. A few days later I was discussing this with her and she said "Oh, it wouldn't have mattered if he hadn't called, I would have found out eventually." My mouth is still dragging the floor. If my mother was in that position I would want to know. It's not like they aren't close. They talk on the phone a couple times a week but it could have been three or four days until she found out. I don't know anyone else who would react that way. My husband rushed to the hospital when he found out. Am I over reacting? Can anyone see her position and explain it to me so that I can understand her a little better?