Starting therapy tomorrow.....(sensitive topic)
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Starting therapy tomorrow.....(sensitive topic)
I really want to post this simply because I need to talk about it I guess. I'm pretty sure most of you here who know me don't know about this...but I was sexually abused as a child for about 3 years before I told and had someone believe me.
Well tomorrow (about 25 years since it started) I'm starting therapy/art therapy to "deal" with the affects. I "suffer" from major dissociation in regards to the abuse. I don't really have any memories from about the age of 9 downwards. Basically 9 years of my life are missing probably even more. It's hard for me to place ages on the things I can remember right up until about the age of 15. Often I sound confused because I can't give a lot of specifics on my past to people when they ask. I've had people point out to me that the ages I talk about are often inconsistent when talking about something more than once with someone, and it seems like an awful lot "happened" when I was 12. Why that age I have no idea but I was one busy 12 year old.
I'm really not feeling good about it simply because I think this is going to be one of the hardest hurdles I've ever attempted to overcome. I've been ok about the fact that I'm starting because it was "in the future" but since sunday I've started to face up to the fact that it's starting. I'm not sad but I'm blocking out all emotion to try to avoid feeling how I feel. I was at school today and I hated it. I was so quiet and all the well meaning friends I have there were trying to draw me out of my shell wondering why I was so quiet etc. I finally told them exactly what the therapy was in regards to and they were understanding and sweet but I really wanted to just be left alone as much as possible. I actually went and worked in a seperate room today for as much as I could.
I'm worried about how I'm going to fair in therapy, what it's going to do to my emotional health and how it's going to affect other aspects of my life and yet this is something I need to deal with.
I'm not looking for advice I just had to put this all out there I suppose.
Although if anyone has been through this and has any advice on coping skills I would sure appreciate advice on that.
Thanks for listening.
Catherin
No advice just losts of hugs.
I am not going to lie to you, it is going to be rough. You are going to start to remember things that are not pleasant, but if you keep an open mind it will do you so much good.
I started therapy after I thought about suicide, I actually had the gun out when my parents came home. I was molested by my grandmothers boyfriend. I was told for so many years that all he did was show me pictures, well when he was brought back into my life at age 18, I couldn't deal. I started remembering other things that happened & I couldn't deal with it. I spent 2 weeks on the mental ward of the hospital. I spent a year on meds & going through counseling. The one thing my counselor said to me was by doing what I was doing for myself I wasn't allowing him to win. He had control all those years ago, but I took it back, I took my life back & that is what you are doing!
Many hugs & thoughts for you. You are taking a huge important step tomorrow, you are starting a new important chapter in your life. It won't be easy...but it will be so worth it in the end!
Many hugs & thoughts for you. You are taking a huge important step tomorrow, you are starting a new important chapter in your life. It won't be easy...but it will be so worth it in the end!
Amen!! and I couldn't have said it better... Big hugs, huge step but so much good can come out of this in the long term.. This is a wonderful thing and sharing it with us is a wonderful thing too.. so many people suffer through alone... Maybe you will encourage someone else into getting help just through the simple act of posting this... 
(((Catherin))) I hope you find peace and heal your heart and soul.
God bless you,Catherin.I absolutely agree with the others.My dh and I started the same kind of counceling about 6 wks ago,and it's been great.I think for us,it has been life changing to simply talk to someone who BELIEVED what we were saying to be the truth,and to validate our feelings.I encourage you to go at this with"no holds barred".Don't hold anything back,talk about anything and everything that you feel the need to.And journal your thoughts.Look at this as "your time".After each session,be kind to your self.Give yourself time to FEEL whatever feeling you are experiencing.****BIG HUGS AND PRAYERS ****
{{{HUGS}}} My thoughts & prayers are with you. You are not alone. Take care.
{{{Catherin}}} You are in my thoughts.
{{{{{Catherin}}}}} I'm so proud of you for taking this step. Yes, it will be hard. I've found therapy always is. We're here for you. More hugs.
I'm still not feeling up to it this morning. I'm scared, and emotional, and tired (haven't been sleeping well) but I know I'll get there eventually.
Thank you so much for all the support and hugs
(((((((Heaven Emily Bobbie Collette Wandilu Kate Kern Cat )))))))
{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
I will be thinking of you hun.
Many hugs coming your way. I wish you the best of luck during therapy, and I know that only good can come of this in the long run.
((((hugs))))
I hope that everything went okay for you today.
Emily  thanks for posting here again.
It was hard even just the first appointment. We're still doing the "intake" and I think only got through one or two questions on it.
I cried already which sucked but was good too I suppose.
I bought a couple of matching journals to write things down and document them and any things I think of to ask her about etc. Feelings and all that and pens that I plan to use specifically for them.
I go every week now for up to a year.
Thank you
good luck hopefully it will bring you peace (((hugs to you )))
I am glad that you are commiting yourself for up to a year, it will be worth it. The journals are a great thing to do. One final thing I did to close that chapter in my life was to write a letter confronting the man that hurt me. My therapist said I could mail it only if I wanted to, which I did do.
I will be thinking of you & please update us often to let us know how you are doing. I am here if you would like to talk!
Emily I would love that. I noticed your email isn't in your profile and neither is mine.
Can you email me at hedgehog 774 at hot mail . com
is that broken up enough? Not that it really matters I don't use that one as much as the other one I have
((((HUGS))))
I just sent you my email address.
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