For the past 5 years my neighbor & I have hosted a huge Halloween party for our kids. There is usually about 50-60 people (kids & adults). We have had somewhat the same guest list with a few changes every year. Last year it was kind of more "our" friends and not necessarily the the regular kids that our kids play with. So, this year we talked (my neighbor & I) and decided that the party really needed to get back to being about who the kids wanted to invite. We let them come up with the guest list and a few families who were invited last year were not on that list. Well, to be honest they were invited last year because they were kind of part of a group that stood up at the school and talked every day. Not really because they were our good friends and definitely not because they were friends with our kids.
Jump to yesterday... I got a phone call from one of the last year invitees who wasn't on the list this year asking if her son could come with a friend to the party because one of our mutual friends is coming from FL. for this party. It bugged me. First of all, her kids go to a different school and they have never played with any of our kids. I have not laid eyes on this family since school let out in June. I was offended that she would call and ask if her son could be invited. She made some big deal in the message she left that "I told my son that we were not invited but he really wants to come" I ended up calling and leaving her a message telling her that I understand she would like to see our out of town friend and to bring the family and come. I feel totally bullied into this. But what else could I have done? I was certainly not going to tell her that one of her children could come but her & the other 2 stay home. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!! What would you have done?

By Bellajoe on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 09:32 am:

I probably would have done the same thing. But it would irk me too, if someone had done that to me. She totally put you on the spot!

By Feona on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 09:36 am:

What else could you have done? Just forget about it.

By Kaye on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 09:52 am:

Totally classless of this lady! But you took the high road. I am sure she called to get the, "oh you didn't get your invite?" speech. I think you did the right thing by letting her come, but not letting her think she was invited. If the chance comes up, I might say well the kids come up with the list and we try to keep it to their friends. But honestly you did the right thing, taking the high road. I would make sure that at the party don't gloss it over. When she thanks you for the invite, say something very simple or a just "your welcome". Don't give into getting her back on the list for next year.

next year if she calls ( you may want to leave this by your phone..lol) I am sorry, we have already made the list and done party preparations. I know you want to see, so and so, maybe you can arrange something before the party with them.

By Conni on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 09:54 am:

Its a Halloween Party... The more the merrier... imo

Was it bad manners on their part- yep. But apparently it means alot to this kid to come. It must be a great party you throw and all the kids talk about it and are excited about it. So I would take that as a compliment!

Have fun!!!

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 10:14 am:

Ditto - what she did was in very poor taste and took a lot of nerve, and you have every right to be angry. But, Halloween is for the kids, so keep that spirit in mind, try to put your feelings aside, and let the kids have a good time.

It constantly amazes me that adults are so rude and inconsiderate and have no social graces. It says a lot about what they are teaching their kids.

And on that note, YOU are teaching your kids how to handle a less-than-perfect situation with grace.

Have fun!

By Mommmie on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 10:41 am:

Very pushy on the woman's part, but just be gracious and welcoming.

By Kernkate on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 10:53 am:

I also have to agree with poor taste and took alot of nerve on the ladies part. But you did the right thing. Have a Great Time!

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 01:10 pm:

Yes, you did the right thing. Taking the high road is almost always the right thing. Yes, she was classless - but also, she heard about it from a mutual friend, so you were stuck in the middle. And yes, you couldn't invite one kid without the others - you know what that would lead to.

Kudos to you, boo-hiss to that woman.

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 02:56 pm:

So, on the day of the party, let everyone know that for next year's party, you really need to downsize the guest list, since originally the party really was supposed to be just for your own kids.

By Missmudd on Tuesday, October 25, 2005 - 05:28 pm:

Yea you did the right thing, and yeah I agree pushy and rude. But she cant impose on you very much so I would let this one slide.

By Eve on Wednesday, October 26, 2005 - 06:41 am:

What could you do? I would have done the same.