I know that we can't keep our dks home from school every time they have a runny nose or cough. In fact, I sent ds to school with a cough today.

But, I think sending your dks to someone's house to play when they have a cold is totally inconsiderate. My neighbors were at my house Friday. One of them was coughing some, but I didn't think much of it. My ds gets an asthma cough sometimes. But, it is not contagious. Well, the next day the little girl was telling my dh how she was sick and her brother was now sick(they were both at my house)She went on to tell him that her Dad was the one who had it first and gave it to them. I was really upset when dh told me this because their Mom obviously knew they were sick and still sent them to my house to play. Now, my oldest ds has it and my youngest seems like he is coming down with it too. I am just livid. I would never send my dks over to someones house to play knowing they were sick.

I guess I am just venting. It is really getting to me having dh gone during the week. All I need is for everyone to get sick.

By Vicki on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 12:01 pm:

I feel your pain!! When dd was younger, I would have never sent her anywhere sick. But, once they hit school age, the really are exposed to about everything under the sun while they are there!! A cold wouldn't bother me too much. Chances are that if my dd had a friend with a cold, she would have spent all day with her at school anyway. What is a couple of more hours at home going to hurt!! Now, I am also talking just your run of the mill little cold. If there is a fever or a REALLY bad runny nose or cough, that is a whole different thing. But when dd gets a cold, she seems to be a little more tired than normal too, so that sometimes keeps me from letting her do things too. I also would never let dd goes some place with out letting the other mom know she has a little cold. If the other mom is fine with it, than I would let her go. I wouldn't think bad about it at all if she didn't want her to come.

By Hlgmom on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 12:09 pm:

I would never send my dd to another home if she was sick...I do not appreciate when it is done to me...that being said she is not school age and has never been in daycare so our "sick chances" are not as great and that my be one reason I find it so iritating.
My neighbor and I both hav dds the same age and we have an agreement to at least inform each other if the other even remotely seems to have anything- that way we can each make the decision if we want to still do something!
In your case I would definetely be irritated because she obviously knew they were sick and was not even courteous enough to mention it!

By Kaye on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 12:43 pm:

I would say, NO. If my child was at school has a cold, is called by a friend to come over, I would talk to the mom and say, well, you know he sure is snotty today. I have had mom's say, well I understand and maybe another day then, I have had mom's say, well they did spend all day at school together, it will be fine. I am pretty strict about illness and school. I keep my children home for 24 hours after a fever, vomiting, diahrea. I try not to send them to school sick. Obviously it does happen, but I try to err on the side of caution. Not so much because I don't want them getting other sick, but if their body is fighing off something, they are so much more succeptible to other illnesses. So if my kids have been sick, we park it on the couch and watch lots of tv, eat lots of soup and pretty much do nothing!

By Debbie on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 01:12 pm:

I know that my ds's are exposed to germs all day at school. But, why expose someone else's dks when you don't have to? Going to school and going over to someone's house to play are two different things. I guess it really bothers me becuase it is obviously highly contagious since they are passing it around to everyone at their house, so why bring it into mine? I guess I am just PMSing today.

By Vicki on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 01:47 pm:

I do see your point Debbie, but I guess my point is, if they have been exposed to this friend all day at school, does it really matter if they play a bit more at home that night?? Now, if this is someone that they aren't in contact with all day anyway, that is another thing!

By Debbie on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 01:52 pm:

Vicki, they don't go to school with them, so they are not in contact with them all day.

By Dawnk777 on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 02:55 pm:

I've had my best friend say that her daughter is ill and I think I have probably said to her that my kids are sick and we skip whatever it was we were going to do. If my my kids weren't sick, I really didn't want them to be sick. My friend's kids all went to a Catholic school and my kids went to the public school, so they only saw each other if we all got together.

When Sarah was 4-6, we lived next door to a girl. They probably played together more, regardless if someone was sick or not, since they usually saw each other almost every day anyway.

By Heaventree on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 03:25 pm:

My neighbour asked me to babysit her little one last year. This child always has a runny nose it's constant. Anyway she said "A" is not sick she just has a runny nose. I thought what does that mean? Isn't a runny nose sick?

Anyway 2 days later Matt had a cold. No big deal, but as I mentioned in a previous post, I won't be babysitting this year, not with a newborn.

My SIL showed up at our house 2 days after Matt was born after being really sick for a week, I was seriously PO'd and my BIL knowningly brought home a serious virus (vomiting and diaherra) when Matt was just 6 months old.

To answer your question, I would not send my child over to someone else's house to play if I knew he was sick. This is a major pet peeve with me. It used to upset me when people would show up at work sick. What are they thinking, everyone at the office would be better off with them at home, they just end up making everyone else sick. OK I'll shut up now, I going way off topic.

By Colette on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 03:37 pm:

absolutely not.

By Tunnia on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 03:46 pm:

No, I would not let my children play at someone else's house if they were ill.

By Luvn29 on Wednesday, October 19, 2005 - 09:16 pm:

No, I wouldn't allow my kids to go if they were sick.

However, I do have to make the comment that no, a runny nose doesn't necessarily mean sick. My poor ds has severe sinus and allergy problems. He takes prescription meds, sometimes twice a day and two different types. He has a runny nose 8 out of the 12 months a year!!! LOL!!! But that doesn't mean he's sick. I can tell the difference.

But I certainly won't send him to anyone's house if it is anything more than this. Actually, my children don't go to anyone's house but my parents' house, so I don't worry about this. But if they did, I wouldn't.

By Dana on Thursday, October 20, 2005 - 12:50 pm:

Depends on the other mom. I never send my child to play or even invite a guest over w/out first saying "we were all sick last week" or "she's been coughing a lot" etc. Then let them decide. And often I have sent a child home if they seem sick to me or the parent didn't realize their child was sick (that has happened). I have no trouble what so ever telling someone not to come over if they are sick and I do my best to not send my child out if sick, or at the very least not telling the others it may or may not be contagious.

By Kaye on Thursday, October 20, 2005 - 03:52 pm:

This is one of those school age kids vs preschool. I know when my oldest was 4-5 or five i used to freak out more about what they were exposed to. But with my 3rd I have realized no matter what i do they still get sick. You really can't keep them in a bubble and if you do, they catch all that stuff when they are in middle school and they get really sick and miss a lot of school. It is good for them to catch the occasional cold.

By Debbie on Thursday, October 20, 2005 - 05:43 pm:

Kaye, my dks are school aged and so are the neighbors, they just don't go to school together. I just thought it was very inconsiderate of my neighbor to send her dks over to my house when she knew they were sick and contagious. I know kids are going to catch stuff, and I know I can't keep them in a bubble. They both get sick plenty.

By Kaye on Thursday, October 20, 2005 - 05:51 pm:

Debbie, I agree in your situation I would be mad. But it does suprise me when I start reading these threads how much of a line there is between these age groups. Also I think once they hit school what sick means changes. No I wouldn't send a sick kid over to play, but I dont' think I would consider a yellow runny nose sick. Sick is staying home from school, seeing a doctor. Yes colds are contagious, but only if they run a fever I thought. Also if they ran a fever and then got better, then I would let them play, again I thought 24 hour post fever they weren't contagious. I follow school guidelines, including playing with friends, but I will warn the parents they were home sick the day before, or whatever. Again, I just don't usually find it that much of an issue. As long as it isn't vomiting I am usually fine.