Flu Shot & Babysitting
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive October 2005:
Flu Shot & Babysitting
I have an question. Matt, DH and I will all get the flu shot this year, Cameron cannot have the flu shot as he is still too young. I strongly believe in getting the shot, however, I know some people don't believe in it. I don't want to debate the flu shot in this thread.
My question is, my neighbour has a daughter the same age as Matt and sometimes asks me to babysit her daughter. They do not believe in getting the flu shot. My concern is exposing Cameron to the flu. If I'm honest with her and tell her why I don't want to babysit she is going to be offended.
I don't want to be in conflict with her, she is a bit of a busybody and will complain to all the neighbours, not that I care really I just don't want any catty problems. Know what I mean?
Any suggestions on how to handle this, should I be honest or just make up an excuse not to babysit and avoid the whole problem?
TIA
Its a hard situation. You can explain it to her as you explained it here. She will either get offended or not.Sorry Im not more help.
I guess I dont give the flu shot much thought. Last year at this time, our ped recommended my older 2 get it(well the flu mist, not the shot)because of the baby. At the time, she was just a couple of months old. Since they were school age, she thought they might bring home some bug to her.They got the flu mist and nobody got sick. But, Ive never gotten the flu shot, ever, and fortunately Ive never gotten sick because of it.I dont have anything against it, just something Im pretty neutral about.
I dont think you should make up an excuse. If you feel that strongly about it, explain it to her.
You can either be honest and tell her why or just be "busy" from now on when she calls to babysit. I'd just be honest.
Are you sure she'll be offended? Have you had vaccine discussions with her before? I, myself, am very anti vaccine in general, but would never take offense if someone didn't want to be near my unvaccinated children. It's a personal decision and I applaud people who take it seriously, no matter what their final decision turns out to be.
I would tell her you're sorry, but you'll not be able to babysit until at least next spring because you can't expose the baby to any known possible flu germs. Say you realize he could catch it from anyone and could get it anywhere, but you have to take what few precautions you can, and this is one of them. You can't avoid taking him out in public at times and you can't avoid the rest of your family out in public and bringing germs home, but you CAN avoid babysitting unvaccinated families and that you feel is in your baby's best interest.
I'm a little confused , you said that you and your husband are getting the flu shot and that Cameron cannot becuase he is too young.
Well if this neighbors child that your concerned about baby sitting, you mention that the child is the same age as Cameron, so doesn't this mean that is little girl is too young to get the shot also? How will this effect Cameron?
Is it becuae her parent won't be getting a flu shot? and she will be exposed to them?
I'm sorry not take this the wrondg way, Wont' you justas easily be exposed ot others whenyour out of the house( ex:grocery shopping, running errand etc.) you dont' knwo if everyone walkign down the street has had a flu shot oor not.
Now me personally I'm getitgn ym two kids a flu sot , but I will not be takign one myself. I beleive that once you strt to take them yo have to take them every year) my son had oen last year at 9 months becuae he was in dayccare and my daughter got one, there doctor automatically gives young kids a flu shot)I've never had a shot before in my 30 years adn I've never had the flu. I dont' worry aobtu gettign it, ( not that I dotn' care) just that I think that sometimes worrying abotu thing happening they usually do ( I guess you can call me a bit superstitious)
We don't do flu shots either. Different discussion. But my question is this. Are you going to not take him to walmart with you? Are you going to avoid all public places, church, restruants, etc? Is there some reason you think this child is a high risk for flu exposure (is she in daycare, does she have older siblings that are in school, do her parents work in a health care setting?).
I guess I have to say if you told me that you wouldn't sit my child because he didn't have a flu shot, I would think you were nuts. The percentage of people with flu shots is relatively low. Certainly you are entitled to your own opinion, but I wouldn't "get it".
Also just because Matt is vacinatted, doesn't mean that he won't carry home the flu from the places he goes. You wouldn't have to just confine the baby inside, but you would have to keep all of you inside, your hubby could probably spray down with lysol before entering the house though.
We do flu shots; however, I've never kept Timmy away from people or children who did not get the shot. The flu can be transmitted by people who show no symptoms.
I don't see that your neighbor should have a great issue but some people are easily offended.
My feeling is you can get the flu from simply going to the Grocery Store and standing next to someone who is sick or touching something dirty.
You can't keep him in a bubble the whole flu season and I don't think babysitting your neighbors little one is the only way your DS may get the flu.
Whatever lessens your worries, then do so. He's your child and you don't have to babysit, nor should you feel obligated if you're going to worry. 
One of the points I was trying to make was that YES, the baby could get the flu from ANYONE and ANYWHERE. But...some risks you do have to take as you can't keep him in a bubble as has been already stated. BUT BUT BUT....you CAN keep the baby from one particular family that you KNOW for CERTAIN has not taken flu precautions. It's those little things we CAN control that help to keep us sane when we think about all the things we CAN'T control.
Heaventree, you can CONTROL this one situation. I say do it. Babysitting the little girl will put all of you in much greater contact with whatever her germs may be, than some passing stranger at the store. If she's at your house, which I assume would be the way it would work since you have such a little guy, she would be touching SO MUCH stuff in your house, and all your toys, and then you and Matt will be touching all those things....
So I say go for it. This is one thing you can do to knowingly keep your baby 'safer'. And keep in mind I say this being opposed to shots! My whole perspective is that all mothers have certain things that worry them more than others. This is one of your things. I have many, many, many things....and when I can control one of them, I do, no matter what anyone else thinks. In fact, I just recently posted about kids not washing their hands after using the potty and how it bothers me, and about how I won't allow my kids on field trips unless I am personally chaperoning. I'm sure that strikes many as 'nuts' but it gives me peace of mind anyway. So, Heaventree, give yourself this one piece of mind and refuse to sit and don't feel weird or guilty about it. Peace of mind is rare, take it.
I have a silly question. Just because you get the flu shot, can't you still "carry" the flu but just not get sick with it? If you are around a person that has it (you may not know it) and pick it up, isn't it still in your system? Couldn't you then in theory be just as dangerous to him as anyone else??
I agree with Kaye on this one. If any of you are planning on going out of the house at all during flu season, your just as likely to give him the flu and a little girl that you might babysit.
Of course the final choice is yours!!
I'm not entirely sure how Cameron is going to get the flu at Wal-mart. He will not be coming in direct contact with people there especially considering I don't pass my children over to complete strangers in department stores and he is too little to be touching stuff.
Matthew is the same age as the neighbour's girl not Cameron. Cameron is only 7 weeks old so if he gets the flu it could be life threatening, this is why I am concerned.
Babysitting the neighbour's girl would put Cameron in direct contact with some one who could potentially have the flu. She has given Matthew a cold on a number of occassions. I don't intend on keeping my children in bubbles and I'm not here to debate the flu shot. I have a very young baby with an immature immune system coming into flu season and I just want to take as many precausions as I can.
Thanks for all your comments.
I'll just make up an excuse as I know for a fact that she will be offended.
The main way that flu spreads is in respiratory droplets from coughing and sneezing. This can happen when droplets from a cough or sneeze of an infected person are propelled through the air and infect someone nearby. Though much less frequent, the flu may also spread through indirect contact with respiratory droplets. (this is from the CDC site).
That means if the person who used the cart in front of you, touched an item in walmart, and you in turn touch it, then you are at risk. There just is no way possible to avoid that type of indirect exposure, outside of never leaving your house. You can wipe down the cart before you use it, you can avoid touching anything you aren't going to buy. But the reality is there is a risk of exposure.
Babysitting is a personal choice, if you feel like you are putting your child at risk, then by all means say no.
I may be taking this wrong, but my understanding is you are having a play date for matt on occasion, once a week or less right? So it would be easy to say, oh sorry we have other plans. Or to say Matt is feeling under the weather. I don't think your neighbor would be offended by the truth, but she would probably think you are being overly protective. Personally I wouldn't think twice about it. I would make sure that if she asked I made sure to ask her, is everyone at her house healthy, because you are worried about cameron getting sick. When you have two children you have to weigh the risks. Is it fair for Matt not to have friends over to play for 3 months as a preventative? Only you will know that answer for your family. You have to assume that most of the children that you will come in contact with will not have the vaccine.
Kind of an aside, but arent you bfing Heaven? I think you should do whatever you feel is best with the babysitting thing. Just wanted to say you will probably pass on the immunity to the little guy when you bf. Which is another point for bfing.
Kris, thanks for bringing that up, I didn't even think of that. We are going to the doc on Friday, I will ask that question. If that's true it will certianly ease my mind.
Direct contact is not necessary to catch the flu - it's in the air.
Also, the flu vaccine only covers certain strains, so you will still have the same risk as non-vaccinated people with every other strain.
AND - a percentage of people who do get the shot still get a mild case of the flu they are vaccinated against.
So, nothing is foolproof. You can only do so much to prevent your family from catching the flu, but the truth is, it will be everywhere, and even with the flu shot, there is no guarantee you - or they - won't get sick.
If your neighbor's child seems to be sick more often than other kids (or your own child) and you feel there is more of a chance of your child getting sick during flu season if you babysit this little girl, then by all means, politely decline.
Just keep in mind that kids, like it or not, are often like little *germ factories*, and in settings with other kids, they all pass illnesses around, and one of the reasons is simply because they teethe, drool, put their hands in their mouths, or toys in their mouths, their noses are runny and they are too young to have learned to blow them or to cover their mouths when they cough, and they touch everything and pass all the bugs around.
So I am in agreement that you should do whatever makes YOU feel most comfortable.
I had already decided that I wasn't going to babysit based on the fact that her child is sick quite often and does not get the flu shot.
I understand that Cameron could get the flu by other means. Deciding not to babysit will just lesson his chances as he won't be coming in direct contact with someone who "could" get the flue. We were at the doctor today and he advised that it is not predicted to be a "bad" year for the flu this year. Now next year with the avion flu that is another story.
I was looking for input on how to handle the neighbour when she asks me to babysit. I will just make excuses during the flu season.
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