Clutter and chaos...help!
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive October 2005:
Clutter and chaos...help!
I am having a terrible time with the clutter factor here at home. Lara is three, and I am really amazed how many toys and stuffed animals and little-itty-bitty toy pieces (who gave her those?) she has aquired in three short years! And while I've tried to categorize, organize and sort, I spend all day picking up and stashing just so I can function. I am working with her to pick things up after she is done playing with various toys. This has helped some, but I am going crazy!
I guess my question is, do any of you struggle with this frustration, and how have you coped? I am not a neat freak, but I have learned that I do better in an organized, calm atmosphere. Lol, I know this doesn't describe a house with a toddler! The constant mess on the floor and elsewhere is hard for me to overlook and makes me nervous. And I feel overwhelmed by the quantity of toys! I am even thinking of putting away some things she doesn't play with often, and bringing them out at different times. I guess I just feel the need to simplify! Can anyone else relate? Some days I just want to run away from the mess. How do you cope?
Thanks,
Nicki
Nicki,
I'm in the same boat. We actually live in a two bedroom apartment and it was plenty big when it was just two of us. When we became three, the apt just seemed to shrink. We had the bouncer, the swing, the highchair, the toybox. Baby stuff just took over. And we didn't have it all out in the beginning.
I agree we need to put stuff away to do better in a calm space. Kids need it too. I was thinking along your lines as well, as far as putting some toys they don't play with away somewhere and bring them out later.
dh went crazy with sports toys so we have every size ball imaginable, including golf balls! We've stopped buying so much. Now we look at toys that have multiple functions.
My biggest help has been leaving some toys at Grandma's house. I leave the obnoxious toys there. You know, the ones with batteries but no off button. She stashes them somewhere.
I think that as my kids get older and start outgrowing toys, I'll get rid of them. I've also heard of toy swaps. You get a few moms, or even just you and another mom, and you basically swap toys so that the kids get something new to play with. I don't know how the fine print would work on that, but it might help. Oh, and definitely get rid of broken toys. That might help too.
Anyway, sorry it got so long.
Hope some of this helps.
Absolutely, put away the toys the child doesn't play with as much. Most of the time your kid won't miss what isn't in sight - if it is missed you know it is important and can bring it back out. But if s/he doesn't play with it often, it most likely won't be missed. By all means, Nicki, put all the "little pieces" toys away - who on earth would give toys with little pieces to 3 years old and younger, given the choking hazards, etc.
I would throw all the favorite stuff into a basket, put the rest in bags and put it away, and sort one bag at a time when everyone else is asleep. That will give you a stash of "new" toys to bring out when someone is really bored or not feeling well.
I am not a fan of toy boxes, as everything falls to the bottom. I do like something I've seen in several places - colorful shelf units with bins or drawers for them. This kind of thing is a good way to put toys away, and you can put a picture of the kind of toy that goes in each bin or drawer on the front to help the picking up process. But even with a nice storage space, I would cut down on the number of toys. And it gives you an out if your child wants another toy - you can make a rule that if there isn't a space for it, the child has to decide which toys get put in storage in order to add the new toy to the play-with-frequently storage area.
With fewer toys, an easy way to put them away, and having sets of toys in separate containers so s/he can bring out one thing at a time and put it away before bringing out the next (a very hard lesson to teach and learn, but a very important one), you should get a handle on the chaos. I think you'll find that getting your child to put one toy or set of toys away before bringing out the next is the hardest part, and I wouldn't push that too hard as long as stuff can be put away easily at nap or bed time.
I am not a particularly good housekeeper myself, often have clutter, and flat surfaces are magnets for anything I want to get out of my hands and am too lazy to put in its proper place. I've learned that I do a much better job if I have a designated place for each kind of thing and that designated space is easy to put stuff into and take out of. If I have to move three other things in order to put something away, it won't get put away. Boxes, bins and baskets are a big help for me - my basement walls are lined with shelves with bins and boxes to sort out all the stuff that one doesn't need often but when you need it you really, really need it.
I find I really need to get rid of some of the stuff. The house is small and he gets more toys every year.
Get rid of anything she no longer uses (or store it away for a *future* child)
Rotate toys she does play with
Put some away as *rainy day toys*
Get small buckets or plastic boxes for all those *little piece* toys
Get larger boxes or bins for the larger stuff
Ditto Ginny about the traditional toy boxes. I HATE them for the reason she posted.
If the stuff has a place to go, even if it's just dumped in the bin, it will be off the floor and out of the way.
We use clear bins (so they can see what they have). Some go on a bookshelf, some are under their bed. The stuffed animals are on a shelf on the wall---and we got rid of a ton of them. About 3 times a year we go through everything. If it is broken, not played with, or just no longer a favorite, it goes. We also have them go through on their own and get rid of things. They are usually very willing to do this before their birthdays and Christmas. We tell them that if they want new stuff they have to get rid of stuff. We donate anything that is still useable. You have the ability to really weed through without debate since your child is so young. After many years of trying different things the clear bins have been the most successful for us. They are labeled and we ony put in what is on the label. This makes it easy for them to grab and play with what they want.
Good luck!
Here is my suggestion: Go through and sort out any toys your child doesn't like, currently play with, or you don't think she will ever play with and donate them to a charity. This is a great way to declutter and we do this every year before Christmas and birthdays so that when my dks get presents we have a place to put them. Also throw away anything that is broken, even if you think you might fix it some day, because chances are you never will. If you can't stand to part with the toys it is a great idea to box many of them and put them in the attic or garage until a later time. Your dd may be a little young, but I let my dks (ages 9 & 5) help pick out the toys that they no longer want or play with.
I am a huge fan of those rubbermaid containers and both my children have a stack of them in their closets so that they are out of the way and out of sight and their rooms looks clutter-free. My ds has one for Lincoln Logs, one for Hotwheels and tracks, one for blocks, one for Legos, and one for his trains and tracks. My dd has one for Barbies, one for dress-up, one for doll house, and one for art supplies. They also have a puzzle/game container that I keep in another closet so that I can control what it taken out of it (I got tired of the game and puzzle pieces getting mixed together). The rule is that only one container may be out at any one time. I also limited the stuffed animals. They each picked out their favorite five to keep and we donated the rest. Now when they see a new animal in the store they want I ask them which of their five they want to give to charity and 9 times out of 10 they decide that they don't "need" the new one. We also put a couple of shelves on the walls in our dk's rooms to hold books and collectible type items that they want to keep (ex porcelain dolls, model cars, etc).
HTH and good luck with your decluttering adventure!
I have the bins Ginny is suggesting. Get the ones with larger and smaller bins. I have two units out and one in a closet. Laundry baskets are also great for large toys!
I struggle with clutter every day, so hugs. I am there too. My big thing is not-quite-junk mail! But, I'm getting better with that.
Toys are only in one room of the house, so I don't have toys all over, which is a good thing.
It also helped me to develop a system for putting thigs away, a little bit each day. Before meals, before we go out, before bed, etc. This way the mess isn't too big!
Good Luck!
Ame
In the words of the flylady, you can't organize clutter, you must get rid of it!
A couple of weekends ago, I did a major purge of our kids stuff. (Trust me, the Goodwill guy was very happy when I showed up at the truck, LOL) It's amazing how much cleaner the entire house stays now!
LOL Melanie, I was going to post the same quote!
I do find that rubermaid containers help, or i love that shelfing system with the open tubs. You have to accomplish two things, one everything needs a place, but two it needs to be easy to clean up. So although in a dream world only one tub will be out at a time, that is just stiffling to some kids. So when they need to pick up quick (or friends are helping) having somewhere to just toss stuff that you can sort later helps. Also TABELS, label now, with pictures and words, it helps with reading and clean up.
I also really encourage you to sort through toys, I have kept some toys for only occasional use, but I don't rotate toys, because it just never gets done. Also it is a great time to start telling family, get us consumable gifts, craft kits, magazine subscriptions (ladybug is a best for this age), memberships to children's museums, etc.
I'm with everyone else on this one....ORGANIZE the clutter
I have mostly rubbermaid containers....those old milk crates too..
I tell my kids only take one out at a time!
I have 3 children so it's pretty hectic I also tell them no toys downstairs and when they're done with them they have to take them all upstairs with them. I do help on this one sometimes. *isn't a complete ogre*
Granted mine are older then your little one so it's happened over the years.
I also sort through them after christmas and make room for new toys and get rid of some of the older toys and the ones they don't play with. Some toys are "seasonal" like remote control cars and kites, baseball bats, frisbee's sand toys etc. so those get put away at the end of summer too and brought back out the next year.
As for stuffies that was a real problem and I got a real baby cradle and put it in my daughter's room and it looks nice and she can use it for stuffy's and they're easy to put away in there and she has something to play wihth her babies in and when there are real babies in the family it can be used for that
Good luck! I can sure relate to how hard it is.
Cat
Also, keep nice baskets in the common areas for a quick pick up. This really helps on day to day "clutter mess stress".
Oh can I relate...My DD's room was getting tough to clean up. Especially for her! So, I took one whole bin and took all the stuffed animals that she didn't play with and packed them up. Then, I took another whole very large Rubbermaid and dumped her toy box and brought it all down to storage. Then, I have 2 small shelves with baskets that have specific items in it and also a large basket for her floor that has baby dolls and stuffed animals she plays with. Then, I got another shelf unit that has open bins for the toys she plays with most--like her ponies.
I highly recommend just getting rid of it. If I felt more up to it, I would go through the bins and get rid of everything, but it will have to wait.
BTW-DD doesn't notice at all! I'm still surprised at the mess she makes, but atleast it's a little easier to clean up when everything has a place.
Thank you so much, everyone, for the wonderful tips and advice! I think you've helped me figure out that there is just too much, and less is better. Enchens, I feel for you in an apartment! We at least live in a two bedroom house. It's older with very small closets, but if I organize better, I know I can make better use of them. And I like the idea of leaving some of the toys at Grandma's! Ginny, I have held off on a toy box and I think you are so right, bins that are labeled would work so well. So I am off to get some clear ones today. Ame, I struggle with the mail clutter, too! I didn't want to admit, but Lara's clutter isn't my only challenge, but it's a start. Tunnia. I think you are wise to limit the stuffed toys. Lara's grandma loves to add to her collection, so I may ask that grandma start one at her house for her.:-)
Thank you everyone who replied. I am so glad I found all of you! I must admit I felt pretty isolated being home so much, but I truly look forward to coming here everyday. I appreciate your friendship and support greatly!
Nicki
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