Is this odd, or maybe to some its normal practice.
We have new neighbors(they moved in like 2 months ago). They seem nice enough, they have 3 kids, 4yrs, 2yrs and a 6 month old baby. Apparently one day when my 2 older kids were playing in the yard, the mother asked my 6 yr old if she wanted to go to church with them on Sunday. First, I find this odd, why didnt the mother ask me first? 2nd, she doesnt know whether we attend church or not. 3rd)We are Jewish ...LOL... She doesnt know this .
My kids go to Jewish Sunday school each and every Sunday. I have nothing against Church. My 6 yr old went to preschool at a Lutheran Church. I just find this odd that they asked my daughter.

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 11:40 am:

Not normal practice here. Yes, I think it is odd to ask someone else's child, especially of people who you don't know well, to attend church. I would be wary of your new neighbors. Of course, civil and polite, but cautious.

By Tklinreston on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 11:47 am:

Yes. I think that's very odd. She most definitely should have addressed it with you first. If someone approached my kids to go somewhere with them without my approval first, I would feel very uncomfortable about it. She may have had very good intentions but it's just common sense to talk to the parents first.

By Sunny on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 11:48 am:

Were they having a conversation and the subject came up or was it out of the blue? Perhaps your DD mentioned something about her preschool to the mom (could she be thinking of enrolling her 4 yr old?) and the mother assumed that was your church?

I think if it was asked in normal conversation I wouldn't find it that odd. On the other hand, I would tell the new neighbor that she should talk to you first if she wants to include your DD in any activity. That, to me, is just a common courtesy.

By Tink on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 11:50 am:

I think it would depend on how it was asked. If it was a question of going with them right then, all kinds of red flags would go up. If it was a case of going with them someday, it wouldn't bother me. My oldest dd (8yo) has been invited to attend church with several different families that she knows, either through school or around the neighborhood.

By Juli4 on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 12:08 pm:

It depends on the context of the question. She is probably being nice.
If they seem nice and normal then I wouldn't worry about it. She probably didn't know you are jewish. I would just bring it up next time you see her or talk.

By Mommmie on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 01:07 pm:

Yes, my son has been asked this by several families (directly to my son). My son tells them No. In several cases the families are evangelical and that's what they do. Constant Recruiting. And in another case the mom was trying to get her own kid to like going to church more and she thought it would help if he took a friend with him.

My son refuses organized religion (and has since age 5 when he attended a religious kindergarten) and he tells them No thanks. Maybe this is a Bible Belt thing?

By Debbie on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 01:39 pm:

Not normal practice here that I know of. I don't think anyone, that we aren't friends with, has asked my dks to go to church with them. I find it odd that she asked your dks this, especially since she doesn't even know you.

By Missmudd on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 02:23 pm:

Not normal here either, and would definately think it strange

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 02:26 pm:

Not normal here, and I also think it's strange. How does this woman know ANYTHING about your religious beliefs and what you are teaching your children? IMO, how could she even think of asking your child personally to church without speaking to you first?
It's not only strange, I would probably be offended.

By Coopaveryben on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 03:44 pm:

It is odd and I have had people ask me. We live in the middle of the "bible belt" and we have a lot of Southern Baptist (nothing against them my parents are Southern Baptist) but they seem to be "out recruiting". I waited tables during college and I would have people I was waiting on ask me if I was a "Christian" all the time or ask me to church, everyone did. To me it was always very offensive (and it was to the other servers...mostly because they always seemed to leave the worst tips) but it is a different mindset.

But in her defense perhaps they were talking about something they are doing at Sunday School and your DD seemed interested....Who knows?

By Tunnia on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 04:05 pm:

I don't see it as terribly odd. My children, especially my oldest, get invited to go to church with friends sometimes. If I know the parent(s) well then I will let them go if they want to go, if I don't know the parents, then I usually decline. I enjoyed going to church with friends while growing up and my children enjoy it too so I see no harm, unless you are simply uncomfortable with the situation and in that case you can just say "no thanks".

By Bea on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 05:44 pm:

It is the practice and a duty with some religions, to witness to others about your beliefs. If your neighbor believes this, perhaps this is her way of fulfilling her duty. If it offends you, I'd let her know in, a polite way, that you'd rather she not approach your children about religious matters.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 10:35 pm:

I believe it is totally improper, and indeed unwise for an adult to invite someone else's child anywhere - church or anywhere - without first speaking to the parent. It may be faith-based evangelism, but it is also interfering with the parent-child relationship and is downright rude.

By Eve on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 09:25 am:

I don't think it's rude at all. I think it does, however, depend on how it came about. I agree with Sunny. If it was part of a conversation, say perhaps about them getting something ready for church and the Mom saying "Say, if you would ever like to join us, we'd love to have you." Or something of that nature. I don't see the big deal. Politely say no thank you if it makes you uncomfortable.

When I was younger, I was always invited to church functions and such with friends. It was not a big deal. It was a nice gesture and it made me feel a part of other people's familes--I enjoyed being asked.

I wouldn't be offended if someone invited my DD.

By Boxzgrl on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 09:51 am:

Ditto Tunnia and Eve.

By Jackie on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 10:02 am:

The neighbors have never said a word to us since then. I mean I barely ever see them as it is. My first thought is that its because of Halloween. It may have just being a coincedence(I know I spelled that wrong). We had put our Halloween decorations out the night before, and the very next day is when the lady asked my daughter about going to Church. They have no deocrations up at all. I know some people dont like Halloween for the religious aspect of it.I know they are "Baptist", and I dont know if their church believes in it or not.So, in the back of my mind I keep thinking it has to do with Halloween and all. I could be way off base. If I ever see her outside, Im going to talk about this nicely with her. In reality it isnt that big of a deal to me. It was a one time deal. I do find it odd, Im not making a big deal out of it though.