Wonder if I could ask some of you for some advice...

My daughter is about to turn three. She lost her grandpa in December after a lengthy illness. Now her great grandma will be leaving us any day now. She is 90 years old and is ready to leave, and it will actually be a blessing for her. Trouble is, I am worried about my daughter's perception of yet another death in the family in such a short time.

She is going to visit with us today, and to play with her grandma, who is living with great grandma and takes care of her. Lara is bound to know things have changed, as great grandma is now bedridden and none-coherent. I feel I need to prepare her for the visit. Do I also prepare her for the inevitable? Or should I wait until Gram passes on?


Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thank you, much.
Nicki

By Coopaveryben on Saturday, September 24, 2005 - 04:46 pm:

I would talk to her about how Great grandmother used to be (ask her what she remembers about her) and then tell her that GG is sick and prepare her that GG will not be able to get out of the bed and she may not be able to talk to her.

I would prepare her for what she is about to see, later when she passes I would come back and remind her how sick she was and that (and this is hard since I don't know what you believe but this is just my opinion on what I would do personally) she has gone on to heaven, In heaven she isn't sick, she doesn't hurt and she is with God...etc. etc. I would also remind her that she has lived a very long life and is ready to go to God.

I hope you have a great visit

By Wandilu on Saturday, September 24, 2005 - 07:38 pm:

Very well said.I think that is great advice.I hope your visit went really good.Please keep us posted.

By Nicki on Saturday, September 24, 2005 - 11:32 pm:

Thanks very much for the advice, Chrissy and Wanda. I decided to talk with her before our visit, and I think it was best. Lara did really well.
Thank you!

By Imamommyx4 on Sunday, September 25, 2005 - 01:00 am:

I'm glad you talked with her. It's really funny how little ones handle stuff much better when you are upfront and honest with them.

This doesn't compare to grandparents in any way but we had 2 cats to die this summer that dd (age 4) loved. When we realized they weren't going to make it, she wanted to sit and hold them. She said they needed to be loved as they went to kitty cat heaven. Then she wanted to help bury them. She was so cool! I bawled my eyes out. She comforted me! Kids are awesome.