I'm so mad!! My sister's SIL was tragically killed in a car accident last week. The viewing was yesterday and my family sent a floral arrangement (through ftd.com) to the funeral home. My sister calls me lastnight to say the bouquet was terrible, not full, oversized vase, and the card did not have the correct message on it. I'm SO MAD! I've called ftd and they are giving me a refund, but that doesn't change the fact that an ugly floral arrangement was sent to the family, you know? Is there anything else I can do for the family? I feel like I have to make up for this flower problem. It is out of state, so I don't know what else I can do. Our whole family has sent cards. What do you think? I'm so mad!

By Kaye on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 10:07 am:

Having hosted my share of funerals, honestly it just doesn't matter now. Flowers are nice, but when you are grieving you mostly don't notice them. With my mom's funeral I couldn't even begin to mention what was there, 2nd mom's funeral I took pictures so I could recall them. Anyway, I would send a card in a week or two and just say, I am think of you and your loss, and a personal note of how this person touched your life, or the life of your sister, etc. Something like I will always remember seeing her in her favorite red dress and the sparkle in her eye. She was only with us a short time, but her memory will stay with me for a lifetime.

By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 10:08 am:

With the $, I would send a gift card to a restaurant...I'm sure they don't feel like cooking right now. And, of course, a thoughtful card.
I would be LIVID...ugh. So sorry...

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 10:45 am:

Heidi has a really good idea. You did get your money refunded, so you could send them a card explaining what happened, and enclose the gift card to a restaurant you know is near them.

Great thinking, Heidi.

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 10:59 am:

I like Heidi's idea, but I have to say, even *if* FTD messed up, I find it a bit upsetting that someone would complain about flowers that were sent. I mean, the thought was there, right??

By Imamommyx4 on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 11:10 am:

Gift card to a restaurant is a great idea.

Another idea--if you know of a special charity the family has, you could use the money to make a donation in memory of the lady. Send a note saying that.

By Imamommyx4 on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 11:18 am:

But I also agree, nobody remembers stuff like that. So i wouldn't even bring that up again.

I heard a story on the radio yesterday about how Diana Ross lost some award back about 25 years ago and was stomping mad about it for months. One day she was at a recording session and was acting the B****, and the director stopped in the middle of it all and said to everybody 'Who won best actress (or whatever the award was) last year?' Everybody fell silent waiting for her to explode and she was fuming. The he repeated the question and said "can anybody really remember who won best actress last year?" And really nobody but Diana Ross could. Then he said 'that's my point.' She laughed and stopped being such a jerk.

Somebody told me recently they were sorry they'd missed my wedding 15 years ago. They have stressed over it for 15 years. I hated to tell her that I wasn't sure who was and wasn't at my wedding. I was a little goofy at the time and in my own little zone.

Do something nice now and don't worry about the past.

By Kernkate on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 12:31 pm:

Ditto Karen.

By Kernkate on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 02:14 pm:

I was just thinking about this and its might be a good thing that some mentioned it about the flowers, because with the cost you pay you want it to be nice and if its not I would want to be refunded also.
I know when I send flowers to a funeral and I attend it, I check to make sure they are what I wanted.
JMO

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 02:23 pm:

Our family doesn't send flowers, but we send donations to a favorite charity instead, in the name of the deceased. My Aunt's dad died recently, just after Hurricane Katrina, so my mom sent a donation to his chosen charity from her family and mine, since I had already donated to the ARC for hurricane relief. Perhaps you could do the same with the refunded flower money, is there a cause she was close to?

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 - 04:10 pm:

Thank you everyone! Karen- My sister made a point to check the flowers for me so I could make sure that they were as expected/what we ordered. That's the reason they were looked at really. I'm not even sure the family knows they were wrong or even cares, but it's like Kernkate said, for $70 they should be right.

Crystal - The family asked that memorial contributions be made to the MI Humane Society, so I think we will make a donation there instead.
I just wanted to feel like I was really showing the family our deepest sympathy, you know? This girl was so young (25), beautiful, vibrant, and newly engaged. It is unbelievable how quickly life can be taken from us in such an unnecessary way.
Thanks again everyone for your input!

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, September 22, 2005 - 12:43 am:

I'm so sorry for your loss. The donation to the Humane Society would be really nice! When Gary's dad died, I looked at all the flowers! They were so pretty! We had the funeral home do a garden variety for Ralph's flowers, since "garden-type" flowers were in abundance in August, and Ralph liked to garden. I took home a peace lily, which is amazingly still alive, after 2 years!

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, September 22, 2005 - 07:56 am:

Deanna, in that case, then I agree, I obviously misunderstood about your sister's complaints about the flowers. I have to admit, my first thought was *how nervy and inconsiderate!* LOL Sorry, I completely understand now, and yes, you should get what you paid for.