My 6 yr old dd got an invitation for a birthday slumber party. She just met this girl in school this year and i had never heard of her and never met her mom. So of course I didn't let her sleep over, but I did let her go to the party, since she really wanted to go.
I think only one girl ended up sleeping over becauae every one else thought 6 was too young for a sleep over.

This got me thinking, what do you think is the right age for a sleep over?

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 12:41 pm:

Patti, Jen had her first sleepover party at age 5. I knew all the girls and their moms, and they slept in my den in sleeping bags. I pulled my couch way back, but slept in there with them.

However, if I didn't know the girl or her parents, I wouldn't let my DD go either.

By Colette on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 01:00 pm:

I think 6 is way to young for a sleepover party. Especially if you don't even know the family. I guess I'd say 9 or 10 for the first sleepover, but I'd really have to know the family quite well.

By Vicki on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 01:46 pm:

Dd is 10 (almost 11) and I would say that sleep overs started around age 5 or 6. Of course, I did always know the parents/family.

By Jackie on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 01:56 pm:

My daughter(who is 6)just went to her first sleepover party in August. We did know the girl and the family, that wasnt the problem. All I could say is "NEVER AGAIN"....There were 6 girls who sleptover there. My daughter had very little sleep, and was the last to go to sleep.(According to the mom)because theyleft the tv on(no sound)all night as a night light. My daughter hates having the tv on when she sleeps. My daughter was so tired and cranky the next day I couldnt stand her. She came home and slept for for 4 hrs straight the next day.

By Debbie on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 02:19 pm:

My ds's are 7 and 5. They had their first sleepover this summer. It was at our neighbors. The only reason we allowed it is because we are good friends with this family. Their little boy also spent the night at our house once too. I wouldn't allow my dks to go to a sleepover unless I knew the family really well. The only reason I let my 5 yr. old go was because my 7 yr. old was there too. Personally, I am not real crazy about this sleepover stuff. My 7 yr. old ds got invited to 2 sleepovers last year. He only got to go to the parties since I didn't know the family well enough for him to sleep over.

By Beth on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 05:49 pm:

My son has had a friend of several times and he has went to one sleep over. He was 6. But again we know each other well. My dd 4 has not slept over anywhere but she had ds's friend sister over to spend the night when the brother came. I think it was that little girl's first sleep over and it went well. I agree though not unless you know the family.

By Jann on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 06:14 pm:

My son started sleeping over around 1st grade. My dd would 'try' but probably didn't last the night till 4th grade. As to sleepover parties, that didn't start up till about 4th grade. My ds has had boys over starting at about 11. DD hasn't had one here yet.
Most parents do want to know the guest and feel just as anxious. (I really ran across this once this kids were in middle and high school and not dealing so much with just the neighborhood kids). It is not out of line at all for you to call the mom to visit and get to to know one another first.

By Mommmie on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 06:59 pm:

Sleepovers around here tend to start during the kindergarten year.

My son is in 5th grade now and I don't allow them anymore too much. Maybe 1 or 2 a year. He's too old for that. They get older and they start doing things they aren't supposed to do.

I do have an exception for trips. In fact my son was invited to go out of town this weekend with another family (classmate's family) to their weekend home and I let him go, so that's 2 nights of sleepovers in a row.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 08:35 pm:

My kids haven't gone to too many sleepovers. I always hated the "crankies" the next day! I always called it "sleepover-itis!"

Sarah had 2 friends. One girl would manage to stay up all night. The other girl and Sarah would only stay up until about 1am, and then go to sleep. The other friend and Sarah aren't friends anymore. They fell apart in middle school.

Usually, kids were only having one-on-one sleepovers. Since Sarah is in high school, she had sleepovers on homecoming night and on prom night, with 3 other friends. They are good kids and so far have behaved themselves.

By Pamt on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 08:51 pm:

When my kids go to sleepovers they know it is an abolute requirement the next day that they have to take a nap. It's non-negotionable. Mine started having sleepovers in kindergarten.

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, September 18, 2005 - 09:42 pm:

I can see where you made that rule! I should have thought of that! LOL! Sometimes they fell asleep on their own, though!

By Karen~moderator on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 07:49 am:

Well, consider this - the MOMMIE'S who host those sleepovers need a nap the next day too! LOL

By Luvn29 on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 08:18 am:

My daughter had her first sleepover this year, and she is nine. The girl has been bestfriends with Emily for a couple of years, and she had been over to our house once before that. I have met her mother briefly a couple of times.

I don't have to worry about it going the other way, because neither of my kids will leave me! Ds will not even stay with my parents who live next door (up the hill), and my dd rarely will. They love going up there during the day, but when it starts getting dark, they are ready to come home. I was, and still am, the same way. I'd rather be home! Except of course, when I am at Myrtle Beach! hehe!

However, even if my little girl wanted to sleepover at this girl's house, I'd say no, because I don't agree with the parenting styles. I wouldn't even let her go there to play for a couple of hours, and I guess we'll leave it at that...

By Missbookworm on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 10:13 am:

My kids have only slept over at my closest friends house and always there with me. I have to admit that the idea of sleepovers with kids who are just in their class's at school makes me too nervous. I just don't know any of the families well enough.

I had one woman I knew a bit from a safe house I stayed in who wanted my son to sleep over...and I was like ummmm no but if you want your son to come over to play that's ok. She was like and well he can sleepover if they would like. I was like huh!? you barely know me.

It's perplexing to me that some people just let their kids go off to whoever's house for sleepovers without knowing well what they're like.

Some people say I'm too overprotective but I'd rather be safe than sorry later.

By Tayjar on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 12:17 pm:

Ok. I'm the oddball here. My DD had her first sleepover party when she was 3 1/2. There were 3 other 3 year olds there. Why would I do this? Well, the other moms at the time were in their early 20s and single. I was in my early 30s and very marrried. They wanted to go out every weekend while we stayed home. So, I became the babysitter of choice. But, I've noticed most of the girls start having sleepover BD parties in kindergarten. It's a small town where we all know each other.

My DD is 9 now and still hates to sleep anywhere but home. She goes to about 2 birthday sleepovers a year but I know the parents very well. She doesn't stay where I don't know the parents well.

My DS has just started having sleepovers this year and he is 7. Again, he hates staying anywhere but at home. So, he has had one friend that will stay here and he stays there.

My sleepover bedtime rule at my house is no later than 10:30 for my DS and no later than 11:00 for my DD. She did just attend one where the parents let the girls stay up until after 2 in the morning. It ruined our entire weekend because she was such a crank. Plus, they have to stay in bed until at least 8. No exceptions.

By Imamommyx4 on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 09:04 pm:

My 4 yo dd had her first sleep over a month ago. The 4 little girls in her mothers day out class got this big idea that they were going to have a sleepover for the 4 of them. Two of the mothers were not so keen on the idea. The other mother and I have known each other for 2 1/2 years so she let her dd spend the night at my house. Dh came with her to drop off the little girl. All went well. I don't think my dd will do so well staying away from home as her little friend did.

But the mom and I were prepared to make a midnight run if need be so it was cool.

By Cat on Monday, September 19, 2005 - 09:32 pm:

My kids had their first sleepover at their cousin's house when they were 3 and 5. I wasn't sure how Randy would do, but he loves my sil (brother drives a semi and wasn't there, but he loves him too ) and he did just fine. She said he whimpered for like 10 seconds. Oh, I guess they did spend the night at a friend's house when they were 2 and 4, only because I was there too and they both fell asleep with my friend's kids in their playroom. So we threw blankets over them and I went home! lol They now have a big sleepover for their birthday's each year with between 3-6 kids staying over. We do make them turn out the lights around 11pm and they have to be quiet, but I don't tell them they have to sleep. They're also usually up around 6 or 7am. I'm lucky enough to have a fully finished basement where the kid's bedrooms are and they just go down there and we barely hear them. They usually only have a few sleepovers other times throughout the year, and they're usually only one or two kids (one per child). They go to other kids houses only a couple times a year. Robin isn't invited to many other kids houses (there are VERY few I'd let him especially go to anyway) and Randy isn't much into spending the night else where. As far as requiring them to sleep, I figure these are the things they're going to remember and they usually aren't very cranky the next day anyway, so I let them stay awake. Their goal is always to stay up the whole night. They've yet to do that.

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, September 20, 2005 - 12:46 am:

IMO, the sooner the better. But you have to know the family!

My ds (8yo) is so scared of being away from me that he can't make it through the night at anyone else's house. I have been called at 11:30 PM to come get him before. Just a month ago, he tried to sleep at his friend's house across the street, and he came home at 2:30 AM.