Ok, this is just a vent. I'm not really complaining. I am blessed to have a nice home, a partner that is involved (most of the time) and provides well for his family and two happy healthy children.

Now for my vent:

OMG!!!! Why didn't you all tell this was going to be so hard?!

Poor Matthew is going thru a difficult time, he is always in trouble. From throwing his food, to hitting the baby, to jumping on the sofa when I'm nursing and can't get to him before he falls off and cracks his head open. He only listens to me when I use my "urgent voice". Like the one you use when your child is in harms way. I haven't yet been able to balance the time between the two of them. Yes, I know it's only been two weeks.

My dear husband, who sat in the chair last night and complained about how exhausted he is. He actually said to me "If you could just stand in my shoes for just a second and see how I feel". I asked he wanted to trade places, he said sure until I explained how I'm up every 1 to 2 hours at night nursing. He changed his mind. It's funny how when he's home with us and there are things to do like take out the garbage he's exhausted, yet when his buddies call and they ask if he wants to play hockey, the tiredness just seems to dissappear. He actually has the whole bed and bedroom to himself at night (I'm in the nursery with the baby) and he gets a full nights sleep. He was dissapointed that Matt woke at 6:30 this morning, said he could have used an extra 1/2 hour. Too funny.

My mom is here for 3 weeks, which is a good thing. DH bought a freezer and she is filling it food. She also takes care of Matt a good deal of the time, which perhaps is not such a good thing. So far in her care he has fallen off the sofa onto the hardwood floor (he landed on his head), he fell down the stairs and his ear is purple and swollen, he slid off the deck on his face and is full of bumps, scratches and bruises. Everytime I hear her say "Oh no" I cringe. I sent her to the grocery store and said "Take Matthew with you" and I instantly regretted it. It was the worst 1/2 hour of my life. I was so worried. She went shopping on her own yesterday from 12 - 4 and left me alone with the two little ones, she actually said to me when she got back "What, you're not dressed yet?"

I have to constantly remind both DH and my Mom to close the gates on the stairs. How do I trust other people to take care of Matthew? I know I can't do everything, but I'm so afraid something is going to happen to him.

So that's my life these days, not so bad really. My MIL will arrive in a week and be here for 3 weeks. Stay tuned for part 2.

This too shall pass.

By Amecmom on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 12:34 pm:

Hugs. It will pass - and soon you'll be saying - oh, where did the time go? How did they get big so fast?
Ame

By Karen~moderator on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 12:47 pm:

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Ditto Ame, though that doesn't make you feel any better at the moment. Too bad you can't put some sort of alarm on the gate that will drive them nuts or shock them when the DON'T close it! LOL Hang in there, it WILL get better.

By Vicki on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 01:04 pm:

Aww.. I bet it is a tough adjustment. I wonder if it would do a little bit of good to have your mom or dh care for the baby and let you spend some quality one on one time with Matthew? You don't even have to leave the house. Just call it special mommy matthew time and lock yourselves in his bedroom and play some games or something he likes. Maybe he is just missing you since you said your mom is the one basically caring for him?? Don't know if it will help, just a thought.

By Crystal915 on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 01:11 pm:

(((((Heaventree))))) We've all BTDT at some point! Cori and I always joke that we're going to run off to some island with cabana boys serving us drinks in coconut shells. Wanna join us?

By Kaye on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 02:36 pm:

It is a TOUGH adjustment to go to two. One suggestion, let your mom watch baby while you do something with matthew. This might help him some. It is good for the baby to take a bottle on occasion. You could either do this in the house, or go on a little outing. If there is a bottle ready the baby will be okay for a couple of hours. It may need just the break you need.

By Heaventree on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 03:08 pm:

OMG, I would never, never leave my mom with the baby! I know you guys are just trying to be helpful, but I've tried. She forgets about him. I ask "How's the baby" and she says "Oh". She's too busy cooking and going outside for a smoke. The baby pooped all over himself today and I needed help I was yelling and yelling for her to come in and help me clean him up and she thought I was yelling at Matthew.

Don't get me wrong she's a good person, but if Mr. Magoo had a wife she would be it.

I do try and spend quality time with Matt, I know it's hard on him. Maybe this weekend when DH is home, Matt and I will go for a swim at the pool.

Thanks for listening.

By Trina~moderator on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 03:44 pm:

(((HUGS))) Oh, do I ever remember those days! I would have to say I was most overwhelmed as a parent (thus far! LOL!) when DD (#2) was a newborn. I remember the first day DH returned to work after she was born. I was still very sore from my c-section and home alone with a newborn and a toddler. I remember sobbing when trying to keep my DS out of trouble while tending to the baby. TOUGH! More {{{HUGS}}}. I promise, it will get better!

By Missmudd on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 06:36 pm:

Definately btdt. Hang in there, you will get the hang of it. I would have dh give you a break on the the feeding/sleeping thing. Is it possible that he could take the first feeding of the night or the last one? My dh would get up for the last feeding and give breast milk in a bottle at 5:30 or so. It gave me 3-4 hours of uninterupted (mostly, who am I kidding) sleep. Maybe you could crash at 8 or so and have dh feed little one at 10 then you could feed at 12 or something like that. You are going to wear yourself out and get really rummy if you dont get a bit of sleep now and then.

By Heaventree on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 07:50 pm:

Crystal,

Did you say cabana boys? Do they look like Matthew McConaughey? YES! I'm in!

By Tink on Friday, September 16, 2005 - 08:03 pm:

We'd be glad to have you, Heaventree! And yes, the cabana boys are Matthew clones, all the way down to the adorable accents! We all need to escape every once in a while. And I think the first weeks of a newborn's life are when Mom most needs to get that vacation!

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, September 17, 2005 - 01:14 am:

The first few weeks with newborns, really weren't my most favorite time, with my babies. I like them better, when they are a little bit older! Although, they are snuggliest, when the work is the hardest, though! By the time they are starting to smile, they don't just mold themselves to your arms anymore!