I started back to school today and have a grumpy neighbour beside me. When I subbed there last year she was civil, not the type to come to your room to chat but somewhat friendly. During the first part of the trip to Vegas for the Teaching Convention she was the same. During the latter part she became cold and very unfriendly. I don't know why or what I had done. Today I tried to make small talk and when she replied rather rudely I asked if I had done something to offend her she said she was busy. It's how she said it though. This is eating me up inside. I'm an outgoing sort of person and hate it when someone obviously hates me. I wonder what I did to her???

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, August 29, 2005 - 10:01 pm:

One of the tricks in life is to know what you can change and what you can't change. You can't change her behavior - sounds to me like she is just a person who prefers to be rude and grumpy. You can change how you feel about it. I doubt very much that she hates you. I suspect she is a non-discriminating grump - that she is rude and/or grumpy to almost everyone.

If it were me, I'd be professionally courteous when you have to be around her, and otherwise ignore her behavior. She is not your supervisor, you don't share a job or task with her, so other than how you feel, how much can she affect your life. I urge you to try really hard to find other things to think about. And feel sorry for her students.

Who knows - she may have wanted someone else to get the job you have, and is taking it out on you that she didn't get what she wants. Or, she could be ill or having personal problems that are slopping over into her work life. You don't know, so try to put it out of your mind other than professional courtesy.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Monday, August 29, 2005 - 10:39 pm:

I agree with Ginny. She might calm down with time. Just focus on something else...

By Eve on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 - 08:04 am:

Chances are, she is just a really unhappy person. It's tough not to take it personally, but I wouldn't. I find that when someone does something like that to me, I need to step back and put it into perspective. You never know what someone else is going through--like depression. It sound like a classic case to me; never happy, never a nice thing to say, nothing to give to anyone else, focused inward. I know people like this and there is nothing you can do to change them, like Ginny said. Take a deep breath when you see her and just let it slide. It is what it is. ((HUG))

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 - 11:04 am:

Ugh. I can't STAND dramatic people...she sounds like one of those. I wouldn't take it personal and act like nothing's wrong and maybe she will too...down the road.