Do you get very much alone time? I am home alone at the moment while my husband and daughter are over at his mom's house. It is my first "alone time" in weeks and I am enjoying every moment. Well, I must say, I miss my little daughter and keep wondering if she is okay, (which I know she is) and wondering if she's having fun, (which I know she is, it's grandma's house!) but I am so glad to have some breathing room today. Am I bad mother? I find that if I don't have an occasional afternoon to myself, or even a couple hours, I get edgy and resentful. Mostly resentful of my husband who gets out almost everyday. I know he would have preferred I went along today, but I could feel the need for a break. I love them both, but I do better if I have time to myself once in awhile.

So I guess my question(s) are, how much time do you get for yourself, and do you experience the same need for your own, uninterrupted time? Do your husbands take your little ones out for awhile so you are able to have some time at home alone? And do you feel guilty for needing time alone?
Thanks.
Nicki

By Reds9298 on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 09:46 pm:

I can't say that my dh takes my dd "out" much, but he sure spends a lot of time with her at home where I am not required. We just say to each other "I'd like to do this today" and then the other one can make sure they're available. Having time together is very relaxing for me though.

I do want time for myself, but it doesn't always have to be out somewhere for me. I don't feel guilty for wanting 'me' time, I feel guilty when I work (even though that's only about 6 hrs./week, I still feel guilty leaving her!)

I get "me" time everyday I would say. I usually have a little each day when dd is napping, and always in the evenings. Dh and I divide up our evenings between doing something together or doing an individual hobby. BUT, we only have 1 child.

If one of us has had a really rough day or something like that, I will say "I gotta get out. Help!" and he'll suggest something I do to relax or vice versa. I also have the best dh in the world

By Tink on Sunday, August 21, 2005 - 10:49 pm:

I NEED my "me" time. My dh works 2nd shift so I have kids with me full time, five days a week. I try to have everything done during the day so that any time after bedtime is for me but I will also tell my dh that I'm going to get lunch by myself or go for a walk on his day off, just so that I can be me. For the last three birthdays, I've asked him to take all three kids out of the house all day long so I could just have some time of my own but no such luck.

I love my kids and love being a SAHM but there are just times when having one of them attached to my hip all the times is just too much. I used to feel guilty that my children weren't all I needed but I've realized that I'm not *just* a mom and the rest of me needs to be fostered too.

By Kaye on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 12:15 am:

I need me time too! I have to say that one of the joys of school age kids is getting to be alone in my home! My hubby was always great about letting me get out, but very rarely did he haul all three kids some where by himself. I love getting to watch what I want on tv, listen to loud music if I want, clean with too much bleach if I feel like it, not have to immediately put away what I am cleaning with so a little one doesn't mess. Ah the life of a MOM!

By Dawnk777 on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 12:23 am:

On Tuesday, my kids are going to grandma's! I don't have to work, so after DH goes to work, I get to hang out all by myself! I can't wait!

Don't feel guilty about "me" time. It's very precious!

By Lorebunde on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 11:20 am:

I definatly need ME time! I rarely have time to myself with nobody home. But I will go in another room, watch tv by myself a lot. My DH is retired, drives me back and forth to work (I won't get into that, we do have 2 cars)

By Karen~moderator on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 12:22 pm:

Gosh, when my kids were younger, I never had any alone time, particularly after Jen was born. Seems like I was always cooking/cleaning/doing laundry/shopping for groceries/taking care of babies/going to school for the older two. X *worked a real job*, as he put it. GRRRRRRRRR! So I guess that entitled HIM to his alone time, but not me, since I didn't *work a real job*.

And yes, *me* time is VERY important! You need it to refresh yourself, and not only that, you deserve it! Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you aren't an individual with needs/wants/hobbies/friends of your own.

It's sad, but the first opportunity I ever had for any alone time was after my X left and he took my kids for the weekend.

I think the biggest mistake we, as moms, make is feeling guilty for wanting/needing time to ourselves!

By Jackie on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 03:06 pm:

I guess I would have to say I have some alone time everyday. It may not be alot of time. Sometimes I just go out and take one of the dogs for a walk, and that 30 or 40 minute walk makes me feel like a new person. Sometimes just running errands all by myself is a break in itself. Its so nice, not having to get anybody in and out a of carseat, or holding a hand crossing the street, or telling somebody to stop touching things. Usually twice a yr I go to a movie all by myself, and love it.

By Missbookworm on Monday, August 22, 2005 - 05:20 pm:

When I was married I never got me time. It took my marriage ending for that to happen. Well ok not never but even when I had it my husband was breathing down my neck within an hour. I'd go somewhere in the neighbourhood with my gf and he would show up there to "check up" on me...if I wasn't there heaven forbid. Eventually I just stopped trying then our marriage ended and I have me time everytime he has the little ones. Of course I have me time after they are in bed too simply because I'm not married anymore. My bf and I (3 years) are talking about living together in the future...who knows when but I know I'm not ready for that...

Don't feel guilty for needing Me time. You're still a woman not just a mommy. It's time to relax and breathe and rejuvenate

By Enchens on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 03:34 am:

We shouldn't feel guilty for needing alone time. We need it to recharge our batteries. Currently, my alone time is for 5 minutes in the bathroom, but only if I remember to lock the door. My husband will try to help me get some time to myself, but he will only take one child, not both. If I want him to have both boys, he requires that I leave the house. A lot of the times, I don't want to go "out", I just want to be left alone. I used to feel guilty when I needed to be alone, when I only had my first boy. Now, it's "honey, can you take the little ones, please." No guilt. My husband does it because he noticed that I'm nicer to him if he helps out.
Oh, and when you take your alone time, don't use it to wash dishes, do laundry. Nope, take a bubble bath, read, or whatever it is you like doing.

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 11:52 pm:

Kids have been gone, since Tuesday. DH works second shift. I have had enough alone time, this week! LOL! I don't like my house sooo quiet. I'm almost an empty nester. What am I going to do, when my kids are out of the house? LOL!

We pick them up on Saturday. DH has off on Fridays. At least when I come home tomorrow, someone will be here!

By Kernkate on Friday, August 26, 2005 - 01:07 am:

I have not had any time alone in forever...the kiddos go back to school on Monday, DS to 5th grade and DD to Pre K 1/2 day and DS to college Sat. the 27th. So I will let you know Monday morning what I will do with my "Alone Time"....LOL

By Nicki on Saturday, August 27, 2005 - 12:59 pm:

Thanks everyone. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this sometimes.

Kernkate, I hope you enjoy your free time!

Dawn, I have a feeling I will be lost when my daughter starts school in a couple years. Even though I long for my own time, I miss her terribly when we're separated and think of her all the time. The connection is so strong, isn't it?

Have a great weekend, everyone!
Nicki